Ladies First

Written By: Emma Grosskopf

I think that twenty-something-year-old women are an interesting demographic. Some of us are in school, some of us are working. Some of us have families of our own, and some of us still live with our parents. Some of us have already bought cars, some of us are on the way to having our dream job and some of us still can’t figure out how to open a can of pears correctly. Some of us take Buzzfeed quizzes in our spare time, some of us take A LOT of Buzzfeed quizzes in our spare time, and some of us have no spare time.

Whatever the case may be, society pressures us to be the same on at least one very important front: men.

The propaganda is everywhere. We’re young! We should be dating lots of people! We should be playing the field and having fun! No need to be tied down!

Or we have the polar opposite thrown at us: ads for wedding dresses and décor and Cosmo articles titled, “How to Keep Your Man Satisfied in Bed” or “What Does Your Zodiac Sign Say About When You’ll Get Engaged.”

It’s always something. What people don’t understand is that for many young women, IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT THE MEN. Some of us don’t ACTUALLY care about when we’re going to be engaged if we are a Libra. Some of us are too preoccupied with our schooling or jobs to worry about our future with a man. Some of us aren’t thinking about men at all.


Instead, we’re thinking about ourselves.

A novel concept, I know. How absurd that some young women in our society today are unbothered by men and the prospect of relationships.

It’s the time of year for family vacations and cookouts. That means it’s also the time of year for pointed, nosy questions about our love lives. “So, are you seeing anyone?” “What ever happened with what’s-his-name?” and my personal favorite: “I have this great guy that you’d love, what if I set you two up?”


As in, questions from family members that you wish you could respond with an equally pointed “mind your own damn business.”

Times have changed, and just because our older family members had dating and marriage on their minds when they were in their twenties doesn’t mean we have to. We are a different group of strong young women, and it’s up to us what we focus on, and we’re finally at a point in history where we can proudly say that we are more concerned with ourselves than with any man.


There’s a reason why people say “Ladies first.”