I'm married, I'm not dead

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Written By: Gabi Torres

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I recently moved to a new city, and you'd be surprised with the amount of people who interacts with me only on the surface level, due to the ring on my finger. Let's be honest, I love my husband, and I'm not about *the hook up life*...but that doesn't mean I'm dead serious, I can’t go out with friends, and I’m not fun anymore!

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I have to admit that in the past I've lost interest in potential new friends because they are married (isn't it funny I'm getting now a taste of my own medicine?) Maybe I still don't envision myself as a grown up, married, and working woman.

I guess I won't be able to change the mass perception of *married=boring af* with only one written piece. However, I would like to encourage women out there to be independent, and to not lose yourselves when being in a relationship.

When we are committed to someone, it's common to spend endless hours with him/her, and to devote ourselves completely to our relationship. Sometimes, this excess of love and devotion can isolate us from our family/friends, and affect us negatively in the long term.

Here are a few tips that will help you keep a long term healthy balance between being a great partner, and enjoying your own space:

- Stay true to your beliefs and preferences: when we're getting to know someone, we want to agree on everything, and to be the "perfect match". The downside of this, is that if you are switching preferences/points of view just to agree on something: IT WILL BACKFIRE ON YOU. Respect his/hers beliefs, and make sure she/he does the same. Once you've nailed this - you'll never regret the person you've become in the long term!

- Find a hobby you're passionate about, and invest time on yourself: it doesn't matter if your other half doesn't enjoy it the same way you do. Trust me, you and your partner will *at some point* need time to decompress, to unwind, and to relieve stress far from each other - don't you love doing some yoga by yourself after a long day? Or going dancing with your friends? It’s fine if your significant other doesn't like to do those things! You'll have something fun to talk about afterwards.

- PLEASE, have some friend's time: this is by far the most important bullet point (I mean it for realz). Your friends are the family you get to choose. Don't forget to nourish your relationship with them.. take time to get together, and to talk about silly (or serious) matters. Allow yourself to laugh, and to relax with those who love you for who you are. Make them feel relevant, either they're male or female. Tell them how much you care about them, and don't neglect them because you fear your partner will get jealous. Aren't the best relationships the ones that are based on trust?

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Figuring out life is not easy, and learning how to manage situations in order to be happy and at peace with ourselves is a complete journey. Love yourself so hard, that you radiate good vibes. The better you feel about yourself, the better people will feel around you. Hopefully, there'll be a point where everyone will understand that yes! You're married, and NO! You're not dead.

*Combine this piece with a big 🍑 cold coffee for better results! Let's enjoy these sunny summer days, and celebrate the little things in life.

With love,

G


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