Horny and Satisfied : Tips for a Better Sex Life

artwork by:   @antacomics

artwork by: @antacomics

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Are your needs being met by your sexual partner(s)? Are you content with your sex life?

Many people don’t have what they consider a satisfactory sex life. Well, I’m here to help you change that!

Below are some tips to help step your game up a notch!! Have fun exploring the list and try to keep an open mind.

These Are A Few Of My Favourite Things…

1. Add a vibrator into the mix —this increases intensity of pleasure by targeting and stimulating certain nerves, and can be used on both men and women. 

2. Rub your clit while getting penetrated — about 70% of women require clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm — provide that extra stimulation to yourself, or ask your partner to do it for you.

3. Mix up Missionary — put a pillow under your butt/ lower back in order to raise your hips and create an angle that allows for easier G-spot stimulation — also, raise your legs (on partners shoulders) to make your vagina feel extra-tight.

4. Sit on the edge of the washing machine (while it’s on) and wrap your legs around your partner's waist as they enter you — enjoy being fucked with the addition of intense vibrations. *Tip: apparently the cotton cycle creates the strongest vibrations.

5. “Head and shoulders, mouth and hands” - Use your mouth AND hands while giving blow jobs — as you lick, kiss, and suck the tip of the penis, use your hand (or hands, depending on dick size) to grip, squeeze and stroke the shaft. *Tip: twisting your hand as you slide up the shaft often adds an extra something-something in terms of pleasure.

6. Bye bye 69! — Ditch ‘69-ing’ and try pleasing each other, one person at a time — This allows you to fully enjoy both receiving and giving pleasure. Totally relax, and enjoy as you reach a state of euphoria. 

7. Dirty Talk, Role Play, and Costumes, oh my! — dirty talk and role play can be sexy. It’s not a secret that we are often drawn to ‘naughty’ and taboo situations — ie: teacher/ student, step dad/ daughter, robber/ victim, doctor/ patient — acting these or other scenarios out and the addition of costumes, can increase the excitement, adrenalin, and pleasure associated with a sexual encounter.

8. Communication is key! — Speak up and express your needs! — Don’t be afraid to be vocal about your likes and dislikes. We all like different things and if we don’t speak up, it’s basically a guessing game for our partner(s).

  • What turns you on? What definitely doesn’t do it for you? What do you enjoy sometimes, but not others?

9. Praise your partner!! — “I love the way your perfect cock makes me feel.” “Your curves are so sexy. I love touching your body.” *Tip: if your partner has insecurities that you’re aware of (ie: body image issues), do what you can to reassure them and ease their anxieties 

10. Find your partners erogenous zones — you know those intensely sensitive hotspots that can create a sexual response and take you from a “don’t touch me” mood to a “I have to have you now” mood — Below are some erogenous zones (besides the nipples, breasts, and genitalia) that often get neglected. Check them out:

  • The nape and back of the neck - many nerve endings in the area, making it sensitive to the slightest touch. 

  • Inner thighs - also packed with nerve endings - very sensitive. *Tip: try tracing an ice cube along your partner's thigh

  • Ear lobes - many sensory receptors in the ear lobe - very sensitive to touch —Nibble, suck, lick, kiss, etc.

  • Butt and Anus - not for everyone, but if you’re willing to try, you may be pleasantly surprised — the anus has many sensitive nerve endings inside of it 

  • Lips - don’t forget to kiss and stimulate the lips! — lips are highly sensitive and respond to light touch, temperature and pressure. Kissing also releases the “love hormone”, oxytocin. 

11. Try making sexy rules — if you don’t follow them, you get ‘punished’ — ie: you can’t make any noises during sex - no moaning, screaming, or begging – and if you do, you get spanked for 2 minutes. 

12. Try anal sex or anal play — there’s a concentrated amount of nerves in the anus — Stimulation can be very pleasurable — both penetration, and anal play (ie: rimming or anilingus)

13. Give ‘Edging’ a try! - this is the act of getting yourself to the brink of orgasming, and then stopping the stimulation for the purpose of delaying orgasms — A good technique for helping men learn to last longer and avoid premature ejaculation. *Tip: a cock ring can be used to help maintain an erection for longer periods of time.

14. Try using different types of condoms — most people who dislike the feeling of condoms are using latex condoms — Well, you’re in luck, as there are many alternative, non-latex condoms that exist. Some of them apparently feel amazing and like you aren’t even using a condom. 

  • Material: Polyisoprene, Polyurethane, or Polyethylene — they also protect from STI’s — are often thought to be more intimate and pleasurable than latex condoms.

  • Material: natural animal products, like lambskin — lambskin does not protect against STI’s and should be used by (monogamous) couples who want to prevent pregnancy, and when STI’s are not a concern.

15. Try performing a prostate massage — use plenty of lube! — Sex educator, Susan Milstein, says the prostate is a walnut sized organ in males, that can be found approximately 2 inches in the rectum, and toward the belly button. Stimulation of this spot can be incredibly pleasurable for men — it is also called “the male G-spot.” *Fact: there are almost as many nerve endings in the prostate as there are in the clitoris, making prostate orgasms (without penile stimulation) very possible.

16. Kink it up! — get a taste of the BDSM world — bondage and discipline (B&D), dominance and submission (D&S), and sadism & masochism (S&M) — allows you and your partner to experience an entirely unique dimension of sexuality, and live out your fantasies in a safe and trusting environment — always involves a dominant (Dom or Domme) and a submissive (sub) partner. 

  • B&D: involves the restraint and punishment of a partner in order to control/ modify their behaviour - ie: rope play, using handcuffs, spanking, etc.

  • D&S: this is the power exchange between partners — one gives over power and control (the submissive) to the other (the dominant) — ie: the sub feeding food to the Dom, being the Dom’s prisoner or captive, being attached to a collar and/ or leash, edging 

  • S&M: deriving pleasure from inflicting physical or psychological pain on another, who enjoys receiving it - ie: impact play, nipple clamps, flogging, and electrical play

I hope that at least some of the above suggestions are new to you, and that you might be open to giving them a shot.

You don’t have to settle for a mediocre sex life. Get your needs met. Be vocal. Take risks. And be respectful and respected.

If you don’t like something or aren’t comfortable trying it, that’s totally cool!! Just be sure to make that clear to your partner.

I’d love to hear which of these suggestions you’re most excited to try - reach out - @talking.with.talya 

See you next time!


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