Keep It Shut Or Let It Fly?

4.jpg

Written By: Rosie Riott

unnamed.jpg

There are two types of people in this world, the go getters and the easily discouraged. While both of which are capable of achieving whatever it is they put their minds to, which type of mindset ACTUALLY allows one person over the other to keep pushing, to keep moving forward? Well, to answer that, you must learn the difference between each mindset, fixed and growth. First let’s start by differentiating the two.

“In a fixed mindset, people believe their basic qualities, like their intelligence or talent, are simply fixed traits. They spend their time documenting their intelligence or talent instead of developing them. They also believe that talent alone creates success—without effort. They’re wrong. In a growth mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work—brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment. Virtually all great people have had these qualities.” - Carol Dweck, World-renowned Stanford University Psychologist and Author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success

unnamed.png

While unfortunate, there are a lot more people who have a fixed mindset than we think. What these people do not realize is that it is not their predestined fate that keeps them stagnant, it is they themselves who limit what they can and cannot do, believing that they can do no better, and that the life they’ve been given is all they will ever have because life is, well, what it is.

I’ve always personally believed that life is what we make it, that through hard work, motivation, perseverance, and determination anything can be achieved. I believe that in order to be successful, in order to be truly happy, there are obstacles that need to be faced, but it is through these obstacles, a healthier more resilient being is born.

unnamed-1.jpg

Now ask yourself, which type of mindset would you rather have? Would you rather be a glass half empty or a glass half full type of person? Optimism is key, truly.

The way I see it is, you can either play in the rain, or you can hide and pretend it's not happening; either way, it's still raining. Might as well make the best of it!

unnamed-2.jpg

Be the best YOU!!

Xo Rosie Riott


MORE ARTICLES

Red Lips and Fake Tits

4.jpg

Written by: Michelle Davalos ~ @michelle.g.davalos

When explaining to a girlfriend Sunday Morning View’s mission and vision; to challenge the status quo and embrace their natural beauty, my friend said “well, I don’t know about that, I like red lips and fake tits”. After we laughed, I explain it's not about natural beauty in the traditional sense, its more about being comfortable and confident in your skin. But this made me really think about what is natural beauty? Does natural beauty mean embracing the way we were born and don’t pursue changes? Does it mean you only use natural, organic, clean products? Does it mean you don’t shave your legs, under arms and the sweet pea area? No lash extensions, hair color, Botox, and fillers?

unnamed.gif

Where does “natural” begin and end? Are we in a place where we freely use the word “natural” without meaning?

For example, most women I know receive breast augmentation surgery because they either have had children and/or they feel their breast don’t belong to them. They don’t feel comfortable with their breast. So, they take control and change them which has a great chance of boosting their confidence. A large percentage of women receive Botox or fillers as preventative maintenance. In order to get results, we tend to enhance our qualities and hide what we consider a flaw even though others find alleged flaws attractive. J’adore freckles!

unnamed-1.gif

SMV is changing the way women and men approach and embrace beauty. This moment and movement is redefining natural beauty, this our opportunity to explore what it means to us. My definition of natural beauty is acceptance. Accepting I have curly hair, accept I have a crooked smile, accept the fine lines are forming around my face and accept my lushness.

What does natural beauty mean to you?

Much love today and always,

M.


MORE ARTICLES 

The Choice is Yours – Be You or Be Them

4.jpg

Written By: Jill Warwick ~ @girlwiththejoplinglasses

She is fearless.

She wears her hair and skirts long,

Her list of worries is short.

She finds adventure in every day and travels the world without concern.

She is relentless in learning,

in growing,

in loving those close to her with every inch of her heart.

She does it all with ease.

She has a million stories people can’t wait to hear over and over.

She makes her own work schedule and rides her horse fast across the hay fields, sand and mountains.

She is healthy, strong, confident, beautiful and happy.

The woman I thought I’d be is not who I see every morning.

There are times when I am at work or doing dishes where the life I pictured and the reality of my actual life hit me like a truck. Then I sit there hating me and feeling ashamed about the things I never finished or even started; depressed I’m not a better, thinner, prettier, smarter, more successful version of me.

unnamed.gif

In those moments, it feels like there is a slow-closing garage door pressing on me as my 20s roll faster and faster towards my 30s, my 40s, and the rest of my life.

And it is so exhausting!

I’m sick of being “lost” and “searching” to find what I want in life. It seems like I’m now just using that excuse as a way for me to explain to others why I am not dating someone, trying to have a baby, or buying a house.

And I’m done.

I am through trying to explain myself or my decisions, in hopes of gaining a small piece of understanding from other people. While it can seem like the safer, more acceptable option is to live in the boxes someone else makes for us than to build one we envision for ourselves, it is terribly constricting on our souls.

unnamed-1.gif

I still don’t have it all figured out and I’m definitely not that woman I wanted to be...yet.

Life changes so much that trying to get it all figured out before hitting the metaphorical road is a waste of time. The only thing we can do is map out an idea and change the course as needed.

Because nothing is certain, I decided to focus on the concrete things I know about myself.

What do I see?

What do I believe?

What do I want?

What do I actually enjoy doing, not what do I feel like I HAVE to do?

This reflection made me actually say and write things about me that I hadn’t before. It ranged from realizing that I value honesty above all else to admitting I really do not like buffalo sauce.

I encourage you to take some time and think about what you really value and how you really want to spend your time.

Then start acting on it.

You can envision who you want to be all day, every day, but to finally be her, you have to make choices she would make, choices that you truly believe in and want.

unnamed.jpg

MORE ARTICLES 

Running on Empty

4.jpg
unnamed.jpg

We live in a pressure cooker of high expectations, instant gratification, and constant comparison. Between working, maintaining our health, chasing our dreams, and trying to get enough sleep, we are bound to run out of steam. After all, there are only so many hours in a day.

Burnout is so common in the 21st century. We live our lives based on how it will impact our Instagram feeds and how many likes we think we can get. We don’t take the time to release the stress that builds up from simply trying to survive in a world of political, economic, and ecological strife.

We’re always in a hurry. We think the limits of stress don’t apply to us. We have too much pride to pause and process the emotions we are feeling. We don’t give ourselves time to breathe. It’s dangerous and exhausting.

So how can we make the time to take care of ourselves in a culture that frowns upon rest? How do we adjust our lifestyles to prevent the breakdowns from the burnout?

unnamed.png

It’s time to stop running on a nearly-empty gas tank. We have the power to choose how we live. We have the power to be role models for the next generation. Not everyone has to run on empty. Balanced lives are possible. You just have to remember to fill up your tank.


MORE ARTICLES 

In Case You Needed Inspiration for Your Summer Body

4.jpg
1503112314827.png

Body positivity, or BoPo as it is sometimes called, is a movement that sole purpose is to reject the glorification of diet culture, a trend that mainly targets women, and shifts the emphasis from body hatred, to self-love and appreciation for your body. The BoPo community realizes that the message of “perfect bodies” delivered by the media can lead to an unhealthy relationship with food and a poor self-image. 

Gina, or @nourishandeat as some Instagram users may know her, is a Illinois resident in her 20s. She understands firsthand how the media’s message can be harmful, as she is a eating disorder survivor herself. 

While her Instagram page is mainly about recovery from eating disorders and #embracingthesquish, her page is filled with pastel colors, empowered women and inspirational quotes. About 91% of women are unhappy with the way they perceive their bodies. These may seem like numbers, but they affect real people. 

PastedGraphic-2.png

When Gina isn’t running her Instagram account she can be found hanging out with her dog Harry, watching Netflix, doing yoga, or searching for her new favorite snack; basically doing things most of us do every day. 

When asked to give advice to other women who may be going through recovery, or even women who may not be diagnosed with an eating disorder but struggle with their weight she suggests two things.

PastedGraphic-3.png

1. Throw away the scale: Put it in storage or any place you won’t be tempted to use it. It’s time to live beyond a number. 

2. Rid your social media of anything that may make you feel bad about yourself: This includes “fitspo” and “thinspo” pages. Anything that may make you second guess your lifestyle. Instead, fill your social media feeds with positive reinforcements and anything that interests you. Recovery is also about taking back the life you weren't comfortable living before. 

Gina also suggests surrounding yourself with positive vibes and friends. She has found inspiration and encouragement from her close friends Iskra Lawrence, Aerie model and body activist,  

1503112412505.png

and Demi Lovato, singer and body activist. 

It can be hard to learn to love yourself again, and you’ll fall off the wagon sometimes and become discouraged this is only natural as you’re human; but you have to keep pushing forward; self-love is the most important and everlasting love. 


MORE ARTICLES 

Marigolds

4.jpg
aaron-burden-331817-unsplash.jpg

Misery loves company. Or does it? A negative plus a negative does NOT equal a positive. I am here to take a Stand and Deliver an important message (HA, see what i did there? Play on words?) Anywho,with negativity as the epicenter of your life, it’s like flies to poop, it’s going to keep on comin’.How to avoid this you ask? Surround yourself with positive people.

Jennifer Gonzalez wrote an article about finding your marigold. Here’s a quick science lesson. If you grow marigolds around your vegetation it helps keep creepy crawlers away from your harvest and it will actually give nutrients to your vegetation to help it continue growing. The lesson here is clear, surround yourself with marigolds. Find the people or crowds that have what you want; positivity. Soon, you will see that you begin to change the way you view things, how you treat others, and most importantly how you feel about yourself.

However, beware of the walnut trees. Crop growers avoid planting their vegetation around these trees because it gives off a toxic substance that will inhibit growth. In other words, steer clear of people who always seem to have a cloud over their head or chips on their shoulders. The only chips you want are the ones you can dip in salsa. Nobody has time to take on other people’s drama, especially if you are working on changing the way you live your life. These “walnut trees” will appear to be friendly, full of life, and sociable. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! These trees will infect you and start to eat at you and build on your insecurities and discourage you from taking on tasks.

“Marigolds” will always encourage you and make you feel welcome. They will help you up when you are down, not kick you. Also, the best part about marigolds is that they can nurture you and turn you into a marigold as well. Blooming into beautiful flowers is what we should all aim to do. Haven’t you noticed how flowers orient themselves toward the sun? They are attracted to the energy of the sun and they continue to grow. Even in the harshest climates, flowers still thrive to survive. Allow bright energy into your life no matter how harsh the circumstances are and let yourself grow. Surround yourself in a bouquet of marigolds.


MORE ARTICLES

Everybody Dance Now

4.jpg
1502489414848.jpeg

Everybody Dance Now  

Confession: The first cassette tape I ever purchased was C+C Music Factory’s “Everybody Dance Now.” As embarrassing as that is to admit, I think Little Me, with her funky bedroom dance parties was onto something.

Over the last few years, I’ve heard from various sources that instead of “working out” or “exercising,” that we should engage with our bodies through “joyful movement.” Simply put, joyful movement is movement that makes us feel good (easy enough, right?). It is a way to utilize our body for expression, reflection, and pleasure instead of punishing it for the peanut butter cookie we ate at lunch. While many forms of movement fall under this category (and really ANY form of movement that brings you joy qualifies...you do you!), one of the most powerful and direct paths to moving our bodies joyfully is dance.

Dancing is a way into ourselves, a way to connect with the rhythm of our heart through the sway of our hips. When we dance and allow ourselves to connect with every part of our body--our feet, our bellies, our thighs, our hands--we tap into a deep sense of power and sensuality that we inherently have as women, though many of us have forgotten is there.

So, right now you might be thinking, “Okay, so I just dance around in my pajamas to my Spotify playlist and suddenly I’ll remember I’m a goddess?” Maybe! But sometimes it takes a little bit more than that.

One of the best resources I’ve found for learning how to tap back into this wellspring of feminine magic is Qoya, a movement practice that is a far cry from learning dance steps or keeping time with the music. According to founder Rochelle Schieck, “Qoya is based on the idea that through movement, we remember our essence is wise, wild and free.” Did anyone else just get chills? We, at our core, without having to alter ourselves in any way, are WISE, WILD, and FREE. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Now, I will admit to you that Qoya is way more than just dancing. In the preface to her book, Rochelle explains, “Qoya quickly evolved from a movement system into a lifestyle of soulful embodiment that teaches you how to access, identify, and remember the physical sensation of truth in your body through your own experience. Instead of being limited by the thoughts, ideas, and beliefs that others impose upon you, the Qoya philosophy offers you the space to explore what is true for you through the concept that your body knows.”

Let me repeat that. Your. Body. Knows.

When we are used to using our bodies for hauling grocery bags, wrangling toddlers, or burning off that second muffin, listening to her can be a foreign concept. But although it may feel awkward or uncomfortable (and you better believe I wait until my apartment is empty before I start grooving), it is never out of reach. You can always find your way back to your body.

For some of us, that may feel like a heroine’s journey in and of itself. And maybe it is. But this is the vessel of our essence, the flesh that houses our miraculous selves and allows us to exist in the world--if coming home to her isn’t worth it, I don’t know what is.

Go move your beautiful booty and feel good about it!

1502489437938.jpeg

For more Qoya resources, check out Rochelle’s free movement videos as well as her book, Qoya: 

Feel free to follow her @rochelleschieck . Interested in other inspiring, bad-ass dance mavens? Instagram has got what you need! Here are a few of my current faves: For a unique, intuitive dance practice go to @personalpractice; to reclaim your sexy, sultry self watch @susanafrioni, and if you’re looking for some body affirming fun, there’s the always amazing @donthatetheshake.


You were laid off. Now what?!

4.jpg

Written By: Gabi Torress

We've all been there, that time when your contract was terminated, or it simply wasn't renewed. It sucks, and it's normal to feel anxious, sad, and desperate. We need to embrace these uncomfortable feelings, and to realize that it's also part of our constant development. The trick is to take these bitter experiences, and to use them in our advantage.

This time, I've got a few tips to navigate through this phase, and help you make the best of this situation:

1.- Take a moment to reflect on your past position:

At this moment, you might be feeling a bit heartbroken, or wondering - What could I have done better? Was that comment I made at the meeting what f**ked me up? Should I have been nicer to my boss? The answer to all those question is: it really doesn't matter.  The decision was made, and you have to move on. Think about it like as if you broke up with your boyfriend, and a couple of months later you want to get back together. It'll never be the same, right?

Take a couple of hours to make a list of the good and the not-so-good things about your past job position. Make sure you map out your strengths and weaknesses. Knowing our capabilities is always a sign of strength.  After this "reflection session", throw that list away, and try to stop feeling bad about yourself. It's officially time to focus on your next gig. It's coming soon, I promise you!

2.- Update your resume: With this Im referring to your cv, LinkedIn, and job boards. Take the time to put together an overview of your achievements from your last position.. Remember to quantify results (show your achievement using numbers), employers love those!

In addition, make sure to request a recommendation from your ex- coworkers/teammates. It doesn't matter if you were laid off, people are usually willing to help out, and to acknowledge your hard work. Trust me on this, we’ve all been on either end of the situation. No need to feel ashamed!

Recommendations will not only be useful when applying to for new positions, but will also boost your self-esteem!

1502489001236.jpeg

3.- Conduct a strategic job search: One of the biggest reasons why we end up being frustrated at work, is because we jump into rushed decisions, and apply to positions/companies that might not be the right fit for us. If your cash flow allows - make finding a job, your full time job. Take your time to do some research on positions you like, and you feel passionate about the company’s mission. Apply only to those opportunities that seem to be a good vehicle for short, and long term professional growth.

4.- Be patient: This might be the hardest tip to follow, but trust me, It's worth to try it. You might get lucky and stumble upon a job opening that needs an immediate hire. However, hiring processes in bigger companies may take up to 3 months, or more.

When you find yourself in desperation, take a moment to unwind. Remember you got this, you are a valuable professional, and soon you'll look back at this uncomfortable experience and be grateful for all you've learned from it.

As a last and most important note - HAVE FUN!, take this "free" weeks/months as an unexpected opportunity to be a bit more flexible with yourself. Find something you've always wanted to do, but didn't do because work kept you busy. Join a running club, learn how to bake that beautiful cake you've always liked, read those fantasy books everyone is talking about, visit your family more often, take hikes with your dogs during a weekday... Enjoy all of these little things that will make your soul happy, and will help you keep your sanity!

1502489014235.jpeg

Trust me! Sooner than you can imagine, you'll be swamped at work again, wishing you had a few days off! - Once again:

  • You got this
  • You rock
  • You're enough
  • You can overcome this challenge, and much more!

 

With love,

G


MORE ARTICLES 

Why Aloy Is the Heroine Young Gamers Need

4.jpg

Written By: Gina Verrastro

There’s no denying that Horizon Zero Dawn is a stunning game. Even by today’s standards, each rock and tree and waterfall in every sweeping panorama is a work of art. As gorgeous as the graphics are, though, the true beauty of the game lies in its fierce, fearless heroine: Aloy.

If you haven’t played the game yet, the basic premise is that humanity was nearly wiped out by dinosaur-like machines which now roam the land, and civilization has returned to a more primitive state mired in superstition regarding the “Old Ones”, the technologically-advanced creators of the machines. Aloy’s tribe, the Nora, is a matriarchal society of hunter-gatherers. As the story opens, Aloy is an infant who was branded an outcast due to the mysterious, motherless nature of her birth. She is given to another outcast, a man named Rost, to raise.

1502129422903.jpeg

In the opening sequence of gameplay young Aloy stumbles into a cauldron, an extensive and technologically-advanced bunker left behind by and superstitiously regarded as the domain of the Old Ones. With no way to climb back out, Aloy must navigate the cauldron and find another means of egress. Unlike the tribal Nora who fear the cauldrons, Aloy is fascinated by the subterranean environment. In the cauldron Aloy finds her Focus, a triangular earpiece that allows her to scan the world around her and identify otherwise-hidden creatures, highlight tracks, and other useful functions related to gameplay. She doesn’t shy away from technology based on the superstitions of the tribe. From our first introduction to Aloy she is fearless and inquisitive. She is already shaping up to be the video game heroine young gamers need to see and play.

During the tutorial sequence the mechanics of gameplay are explained through Rost teaching Aloy how to safely navigate the world outside of the tribe’s protection. Aloy must hunt and gather – no such thing as traditional heteronormative gender roles in the Horizon universe! Individuals of both genders are strong warriors, and no one is above gathering medicinal herbs.

The main conflict of the game is called “the Derangement”, the term used to describe the machines turning violent and attacking humans without provocation. Aloy goes on a quest to determine the cause of and solution to the Derangement, along with the truth about her mother and the mysterious circumstances of her birth. To aid her in her quest Aloy is given the distinction of Seeker, a title that marks her as a Nora with special permission to travel beyond the Nora lands – and that has never been granted to an outcast. Throughout the game, NPCs (non-playable characters) from Nora and other tribes react to Aloy’s unique standing in society in various ways. They express curiosity, amusement, sometimes even outrage.

1502129443450.jpeg

Aloy doesn’t rest on her title, however. Over the course of the game she builds a reputation of herself that begins to proceed her: a skillful fighter, a formidable opponent, a survivor. And yet, Aloy refuses to let others define her. She responds warily when the people she encounters say they’ve heard about her. She claims her accomplishments truthfully, not boastfully, and refuses their attempts to place expectations on her. She accepts side quests for other characters and altruistically performs tasks for even those characters who treat her with derision due to her status as an outcast. Although their closed-mindedness and ungrateful attitudes frustrate her, she doesn’t let that deter her from giving aid where it is required.

Without devolving into spoilers, Aloy is the tough-yet-tender video game heroine that gamers of all ages need to play. She meets obstacles with determination and doesn’t let herself be limited by others labels, perceptions, and expectations. She is resourceful, independent, and compassionate without being a pushover. It’s no secret that videogames have a long way to go in terms of representation of women, people of color, and gender and sexual minorities, but Aloy is a step in the right direction. The previous generation grew up on Laura Croft and Samus Aran. Today’s young gamers will grow up with Aloy to show them what a badass female heroine can do.

1502129460312.jpeg

Watch the Trailer

Horizon Zero Dawn: Complete Edition - PlayStation 4
By Horizon Zero Dawn - Complete Edition

MORE ARTICLES 

Boob vs. Man Made Boob

4.jpg
 PHOTO: JADE BEALL

PHOTO: JADE BEALL

The moment is dwindling near and you are close to game time...I’m talking about labor! There are SOOOOOOO many decisions to make and as a new parent or veteran parent the same question always fills the air “ You are going to breastfeed right?” It’s not even a question, more of an assumption. People, did your 1st grade teacher ever tell you in the most polite non-lawsuit but almost CPS worthy way to mind your own damn business? You know moms, it’s okay to say that to others...well, maybe not as rude like I just did, but choice words will get your point across.

A mother’s glow can brighten up any room. You know it just radiates from within.(Not because your face is sweaty from your imbalanced hormones).  Making a life inside your own body is an indestructible bond a mother will have with their child for eternity. Life is literally in the making...out of all the questions to ask, you must be thinking “is that what’s on people’s minds?” Don’t let it break you. Like Taylor Swifts says haters gonna hate hate hate. The intrusive inquirer better count their blessings because you are entitled  to answer their question in rated R kind of way. Just say what you want to say and let that damn mic drop.

We all know how a baby depends on their momma 200% of the time. Even when they are grown ass adults and mom still irons their shirts at 32. (It’s cool man, it’s cool...it’s a mom thing. I totally get it.) That may have been an extreme example but my point is that one way or another the baby will be nourished regardless of where the supply is coming from. So what’s it to them? A mother’s decision to breastfeed is a personal decision. A mother’s decision to give her baby formula is also a personal one. Whatever your decision is, do not feel compelled to please what society has dictated is “normal”. Ha, Normal... In our society today? B* please! With all that's going on in this world, you stick to what feels right to you. That’s the new “normal”. Besides, feeding a baby from a bottle, whether it’s pumped milk or formula, is equally as beautiful and special.

However, breastfeeding is what society has lead us to believe is the norm for all moms. It is very convenient (food on the go, open like a 7-11, the jokes go on) If you can breastfeed your baby, kudos to you! Making life inside of you AND making food in your chest is like a buy one get one free deal! Celebrate your body and all it can do! You want to breastfeed in public!? Go right on ahead! Be proud! If you’d rather walk into Target and take their whole shelf of formula and clear them completely out AND order an extra case through Amazon Prime, then girl, you do yo’ thang. This decision will not define you as a mother.

Just to sum it up for those of you who may believe one over the other. Yes, each has its own pros and cons but there are no scientific results after an infinite amount of medical research that will determine physical, emotional and cognitive advantages. That my mamacitas are relied mostly on other extrinsic factors. Does “Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness” ring a bell to anyone??? If it doesn’t...hot damn it’s in the Declaration of Independence! So you see, it's the law to make yourself happy. Make decisions as a parent in the best interest of YOUR child. Period.


MORE ARTICLES

Lessons from an Unconventional Honeymoon

4.jpg
1501869844726.jpeg

Lessons from an Unconventional Honeymoon

I recently got back from my two-week honeymoon, and I can say with a fair degree of certainty that it wasn’t your typical post-nuptial getaway.

Things my honeymoon did NOT include: exotic beaches, bikinis, room service, fancy outfits, or foreign countries.

Things my honeymoon DID include: travel, coffee (obvi), kisses, crow bars, nail guns, a Home Depot credit card, and lots and lots of love.

Allow me to explain. About six months ago, we decided to make a huge change. In order to be able to craft the kind of life we want for ourselves and our future family, we decided to look into buying a house in a state we’ve never lived in located across the country (like you do, right?).

At the same time, we reasoned that if we were trying to save for a down payment and the costs of moving, spending thousands of dollars on a honeymoon trip just didn’t feel right. Instead, we decided that if we were actually able to buy a home (something that we wanted and that was out of reach for us in LA) that we would use our honeymoon to fly out and fix up our home to start to make it “ours.”

The stars aligned, everything fell into place, and less than a week after tying the knot, we boarded a plane with suitcases full of tools for our home-remodel honeymoon.

I consider my husband pretty handy and knowledgeable about tool-stuff, but it may not surprise you from my use of the word “tool-stuff” that I am not. I’d like to think I’m an intelligent, independent, grown-ass woman, but let’s just say that when we first started dating and he fixed the troublesome light bulb on my apartment stoop, I was thoroughly impressed.

Despite my shortcomings in the home improvement arena, I was very into the idea of crafting this house into our home and doing so together. So, I put my faith in his tool-stuff ability and knew we had the safety net of YouTube how-to videos and a Home Depot down the street. The result was quite educational.

Here are a few things I learned from my unconventional, home-remodel honeymoon:

  1. Physical exertion is powerful. There’s something visceral and calming about ripping the shit out of layers or linoleum or carpet tack sticks (yeah, I learned what those were too). Engaging in physical labor took me out of my mind for a bit, and I admit I liked it. It reminded me how important and rewarding being in my body is--moving it, using my strength, listening to my muscles.

  2. Perfection is a myth. You know this already, right? I thought I did, but that didn’t stop me from being incredibly stubborn about our plan to get ALL the floors done prior to our late summer move. So much so that I might have thrown a big girl hissy fit the day before we left when I was forced to acknowledge that the floors would not be done and that the refrigerator and the stove will still be in the living room when we move in because the tile kitchen is currently 90% cement board and only 10% tile. Sigh. After I went through my blaming and crying phase, my husband hugged me, told me it will all work out in the end, and I accepted it. Yes, it will be a little more chaotic than I planned, but isn’t that life? Yes. And that’s okay.

  3. Strong is sexy. Again, maybe you already know this one, but I will say it caught me off guard. My husband taught me how to use the nail gun, and then looked at me nailing stair risers and told me I was sexy. I understand him thinking boyshort underwear is sexy. Or that he thinks bold lip colors are sexy. But frizzy hair, no makeup, paint-stained yoga pants, and a power tool? Who did I marry? Then it clicked. Using my strength is sexy. Not sitting back and letting him do all the heavy lifting is sexy. Being a chick who can get shit done is sexy. It’s about time we all start owning that.

Despite my sore feet and unfinished kitchen, I’m considering our honeymoon a success. For starters, we stepped up to a new challenge and faced it together. Also, even though we didn’t finish, we got A LOT done. Focusing on what’s missing will never bring joy, so I choose to be grateful for what’s present. But mostly, I’m proud of us for ignoring the raised-eyebrow looks of other people and doing what felt right for us at this moment in our lives. There will (hopefully) be fancy hotels and room service in our future, but right now, we needed to start our lives together at home--sweaty, bare-faced, sexy, imperfect, and figuring it out as we go.


MORE ARTICLES

Choosing a Healthier lifestyle? - Positive approaches to to lift you up!

4.jpg

Written By: Gabi Torress

Any time we try to diet, or to switch to a healthier lifestyle, we tend to obsess over it. I believe that most of the time, we end up falling off the wagon, and feeling frustrated because we mentally sabotage ourselves. It's easy to (unconsciously) do little things that will tear down our self-esteem and confidence. Let's tackle some of those:

Weighing Yourself Every Day:

1501708838925.jpeg

Unless you are committing to a super strict weight-loss regimen, where you should be exactly measuring what you eat, and following up the process in detail; you should NEVER weigh yourself every day. When you are switching to a healthier diet, your body weight will fluctuate for different reasons (you're on your period, how often you go to the bathroom, your reaction to certain foods, your stress levels... even the time of the day that you weigh yourself can make a huge impact on the number on the scale) This is why, I would recommend you to use the scale every other week, or once a month (if you still want to use a scale as a measurement) Ideally, I would recommend you to trust on how your clothes are fitting, and how YOU feel about yourself. Are you happier? Yes! - then it's working.

Comparing Yourself to Your Past Self:

1501708881215.jpeg

Does this sound familiar? "look at this picture from when I was in college! I looked so skinny/lean/toned. I was xx lbs then, and I want to get back to that  after I finish breastfeeding my baby"

The first step to setting a goal, (is) to be realistic. Not that I'm saying that we're not capable of being determined, and to lose xx amount of lbs. We need to consider that our bodies, are constantly changing, and evolving. Our needs, and perspectives also should.

Make the decision of not living in the past, and instead focus on how bright and healthy your near future will be. Be grateful for all the amazing things that your body is capable of doing, and nurture it not only with healthy foods, but with love.

Establish A Happy Number:

1501708911487.jpeg

When we are dieting/changing habits, it's common to idealize our happiness tied to a certain size, weight, look. Unfortunately, we can start suffering/getting anxious because "we're still not there". We need to remember that life is now, and that we should choose to enjoy our journey.

In addition to keeping ourselves motivated with those old school "tricks". Let's take some more positive approaches. Here are my suggestions:

A “Good Morning!” Leads to A Good Rest of Your Day

  • Every morning, when you look at yourself in the mirror, say something kind to yourself. Take a moment to find something beautiful, something that makes you feel unique. It doesn't have to be a body feature, it can also be a compliment to your soul.
1501708965446.jpeg

Great Things Have Small Beginnings

Focus on the small positive changes your body is going through. E.g: Since you started eating healthy you go to the bathroom every morning, and don't need to take laxatives anymore (ok, I know it sounds a bit gross, but trust me, that's a big gain!) OR since you started exercising, you can chase your kid around the park, instead of just telling him to play on the iPad (ok, not the finest example either, but I bet you're getting my point)

Focus on the small positive changes your body is going through. E.g: Since you started eating healthy you go to the bathroom every morning, and don't need to take laxatives anymore (ok, I know it sounds a bit gross, but trust me, that's a big gain!) OR since you started exercising, you can chase your kid around the park, instead of just telling him to play on the iPad (ok, not the finest example either, but I bet you're getting my point)

1501708990729.jpeg

Reward Yourself, NOW!

Go to your favorite store, and find something that compliments your beauty. Do not go for a smaller size, get something that makes you feel like the hot bomb you already are!

1501709009989.jpeg

Feeling empowered to be the best version of ourselves is a personal decision. Let's all start re-discovering our own wonders, and allowing ourselves to be our biggest fans!

With all my love,

G


MORE ARTICLES

Man Up

4.jpg

Written By: Emma Grosskopf

So there was this guy. Who I liked. I mean, REALLY liked.

I wanted so badly for him to fall for me. I thought that, if I just asked him out, he’d say yes and the rest would be history.

So I did.

And he laughed. But I wasn’t aware that I said anything funny.

He said, “Emma, I’d never go out with you. You’re just too masculine for me. I don’t date manly girls.”

I don’t date manly girls.

Now how about that.

I have three brothers. I used to play basketball. I used to wear my brothers’ hand-me-downs. My mom sentenced me to a brutally short haircut in middle school. And, above all that, I’m 6’3”. The idea that I might be seen as masculine was one of my biggest insecurities growing up.

I was the girl who everyone thought was a boy. That’ll stay with you.

And now, here’s this guy who I wanted SO BADLY to be with, and he was telling me that my fears were true.

And it hurt. I was absolutely crushed. I was embarrassed, confused, and ashamed. I will never forget that feeling.

But see, here’s the thing. It’s 2017. Qualities that are “traditionally” male and “traditionally” female don’t really matter anymore. I am a woman. And I’m tall. And loud. I like sports. I wear men’s clothes sometimes. I curse. I drink beer. But also, I love to do my nails. I love dresses and flowers and cooking and shopping.

Enjoying these things doesn’t make me manly or feminine. It makes me me. And just because some asshole tries to tear me down, it doesn’t mean that I’m less beautiful. It just shows how ugly he is.


MORE ARTICLES