My daughter randomly brought me my husband’s phone the other day. Her latest obsession is to scroll through pictures. And while I try to limit screen time, it’s fun to listen to her recollection of memories and play-by-play of past events. As we sat and looked at pictures I noted how horrific I looked in one of the photos taken. For whatever reason, it was the first time I saw the picture and it frustrated me to no end. I deleted it.
A couple of weeks ago I was at a friend’s house for brunch. A few of us gathered for a picture. There had been talk of posting it to social media. I begged for it to be kept private. I loathed it.
So what’s the deal?
I don’t feel or like that my inner joy isn’t reflected outwardly. My best self isn’t projected physically and it wrecks me.
I’m accountable. I own it. I got lazy. Lazy isn’t pretty. I want the beauty I feel about what I’m doing and how I do it to be palpable in all aspects of my life. I want to like how I look.
I thought about a gimmick. I was tempted by a shortcut. Ultimately, I want long-lasting results with a reasonable and responsible approach. Just like my writing, I can’t rush this endeavor. It didn’t happen overnight so I can’t will it away quickly. Again, this is all part of my accountability and a need for action.
I’ve read it takes 21 days to form a new habit, so I decided to be better and brighter for 21 days. I’ve taken to celebrating who I am now and working toward moving more and eating less. I’m two days in and I’m nowhere near feeling changed, but I do feel compelled and comforted.
Whenever we make a change that’s self-motivated it wakes us up in more ways than one. I’m writing a little more, smiling big, and loving without limits. If this is how I feel two days in, I can’t wait to see what happens after the completion of this mini-challenge.
Are you self-made, self-motivated, or self-saved? Did you start something small that became something big?