LISTEN UP, LADIES

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When Oprah accepted the Cecil B. Anthony award at this year’s Golden Globes, like many, I felt empowered to do something and support others who decided to do the same. Out of the #metoo movement began a conversation about equality that was necessary and long overdue.

Let me be clear, I have high hopes for females. But as we examine how we’re talked about, what we earn, what we’re worth, and our value in society, let’s not undo the momentum with meanness.

Here’s the thing, sometimes we’re not so nice to one another. Case in point, today I overheard some gals at the local coffee cafe discussing another woman and her body. While I’ll spare you the exact commentary, it wasn’t complimentary.

As a mom, I hoped meanness was synonymous with growing pains, but it’s not. I’m always thrown by how freely and harshly mamas can be to one another. From decisions about whether to breastfeed or formula feed, to the debates and shame over working mom or stay-at-home mom lifestyles, we sometimes employ mean girl tactics that do nothing but destroy morale and incite fear.

This isn’t to say that we’re all terrible gossip gurus with little to no value in the hustle for fierce feminism. We’re strong, capable and courageous women. We just need to make sure we check ourselves for consistency and extend those same attributes to one another.

Commentary can be fun, but it it’s rooted in hurt or your pleasure is at the expense of someone else’s pain, then it’s no good. You’re entitled to an opinion, but it’s not always necessary to share it. These basic, cliche, but important thoughts serve as a reminder that we need one another.

In a world where stereotypes and sexism still run rampant, we need to fixate ourselves on sisterhood. Whether it’s body positivity, career advancement, friendship, or motherhood, be the  champion of confidence for your peers. If we all pledged to be more acutely aware of our behavior to one another, then we’d be that much more further along in owning and leading the campaign for change. But what if we did more than become aware? What if became so nice that it offered a cure for an epidemic of self-involvement and sensationalism?

Women supporting women can’t be something we speak of as a goal. It has to be lifestyle led with purpose and passion. We can’t follow #metoo without implying that it’s actually an #ustoo philosophy. What happens to a fellow woman is of serious concern and importance to us all. We can’t champion a cause if we don’t cheerlead for one another. We must become beacons of light instead of masters of meanness.

So forgo your girlfriend gossip for the day. Who cares if her butt is large? There’s more to love. So what if she decided to stay at home and raise her snot-filled children? It’s her choice and celebrate her ability to do so. And for god sakes forgo the standard dissection of her outfit. What she lacks in style is of no concern since her talent is raw and her potential endless.

It’s our time. Let’s do this the only way it should go down, together.

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