Approval Not Required

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As quickly as the idea formulated in her mind, was as quickly as her fingers moved eagerly across her phone screen. After all she was excited because she had finally found the thing that was going to set her life on the right track. The new career path, enlightenment journey, fitness routine, new major, or hobby/side business, that was going to give her purpose and calm the chaos she had been experiencing in her mind. She had to share this new path, not that she had even begun, but the idea alone was exhilarating enough so of course this time it would stick. Nevermind that this was the tenth “ah-moment” in the past year. She recognized that she was grasping at straws at this point, so this one had to stick. As her mind raced with the possibilities of what this new venture would provide for her future she shared the good news with friends, family, and strangers of the internet. She conducted in depth millennial style research (google), and attained the supplies required for the new life ahead. Pushing aside old dusty supplies of ventures past, she made room for the tools of the trade her new persona now required.

When she shared her idea messages and likes poured in, all in support and excitement for her. She knew she could do this. She had passion, she had encouragement, and she had approval. As weeks went on her initial zeal died down. Comments and inquires about her latest endeavor soon seized, and after a few months her new tools of the trade soon joined her shrine of forgotten ‘passions’. Frustrated and completely fed up she took a walk to clear her mind. Resting on a bench she came to the conclusion that what she had in life was all there would ever be. There was no further to go. She had to learn to be satisfied with the way things were, yet something deep inside her opposed the thought so strongly.

In one more attempt to make sense of noise that seemed to always cloud her mind, she stared blankly into the distance,speaking to no one in particular, and asked “Will I ever know what I am supposed to do or be”?

Suddenly a voice spoke. It was an older woman sitting on the far end to. It was an older woman at the far end of the bench. The woman had been observing her as she sat, and laughed sympathetically when hearing her question.

“Do you know” said the woman “how I found exactly where I was supposed to be and was completely at peace with my decisions”

“How”?

“When I no longer required the approval of others, to validate my decisions.”

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