It started out wonderful; flirty texts, first kisses and hand holding. You fell in love with this person, their quirks, that smile.
Then it got bad; yelling, tears, frustration, and an empty feeling in your chest.
Finally, there came a breaking point and you both walked away.
Cue: more tears, booze, and wallowing- it becomes a constant swing between “Good riddance” and “Gosh, I miss them”.
You stalk them on social media and try to adjust to sleeping alone. You tell everyone you’re fine and some days you are, but let’s be honest, other days not so much.
How do you get that grey cloud above your head to go away? How do you let go of your anger and shame? How do you get them out of your head?
How in the hell do you move on?
The short answer? Distract yourself.
Start doing whatever you want. Buy yourself something. Go to an event by yourself or with friends. Was there something you wanted your ex to do with you that they never would?
Freaking go do it!
Make a vision board for new goals. Surround yourself with the loved ones in your life. Try a new hobby or get something pierced.
The long answer? Take it one step at a time and grow.
Have a bad day, but then get up and try to make the next one a little better. The things that make you crumble to the floor one day are going to help you stand taller on another. That relationship was meant to teach you something and to help you grow into the person you are meant to be. It would be nice if growing didn’t hurt so much, but leaving your comfort zone isn’t easy for a reason.
As you think about that relationship and analyze it over and over with your friends, be honest with yourself;
What were you really mad about?
What were you wishing they would do?
What could you have done differently?
What were the good things and what annoyed you?
What are your limits now? What are your deal breakers?
Whatever answers you get, accept them, and then let it go. Put your hand on your heart and forgive yourself and your ex. The safety and comfort you build with someone is hard to forget but so is all the pain you went through. Don’t let it make you bitter. Grieve this loss, accept it, and then start walking this new path of life. It will be ready when you are.