Figure it Out -Mom

Written by: Chantel M. Rivera ~ @chanty_m

I’ve been taking some serious inventory of my life lately. When I think of everything I have been blessed with and the achievements I have accomplished thus far I am truly thankful. Then there is the other side of the coin. I start to think about everything I want to accomplish, and my never-ending to-do list called “everyday life”, and all my gratefulness seems to be drowned out by another voice. The voices of doubt and comparison that likes to creep in and tell me there isn’t enough time to accomplish all the dreams I have spilling over in my mind. When they speak I have to quickly hush them up before fear invites itself in and makes my heart its resting place. This Mother’s Day I was sharing some of these thoughts with my mom and she gave me advice that put both heart and mind at peace, so I wanted to share with my SMV family.

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Do What Is Right For You

This does not mean to act selfishly or in disregard for those around us. She told me to stop listening or bending to the pressures around me. The ones that tell me what I should be doing, or what I should have accomplished, by a certain age. Those pressures do one of two things. One, they can cripple us and keep us from accomplishing anything.

It’s like sensory overload. Trying to be everything and please everyone else will never last long. You’ll eventually burn out and be left to sweep up what is left, yourself.

Second, we end up losing ourselves and are suddenly defined by the titles we took on or the roles we play for others. What happens when a role suddenly ends… (mid-life crisis loading in 3…2…1). There is something rooted deep within each of us that will direct us to which path is right, and that may look different then the path everyone around you is taking.

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Everything Cannot Come At Once

We’ve all got goals, dreams, plans, whatever you want to call them. If you’re like me you may be a little impatient. Even knowing that the best things take time I still find myself trying to be superwoman, tackling a bit of each project every day. When I told my mom this she laughed and then started talking about Thanksgiving (but it’s May). She told me that everything cannot be cooked at one time. There is one oven and four burners, and you shouldn’t have all the burners on high at once.  You must slow down and work on one dish at a time. “Focus on one dish, and once it’s been properly seasoned and ready to cook, then you can start on something else. Eventually, you’ll be able to put some dishes on warm and they’ll take care of themselves while you begin something new. In the end, you’ll have an amazing feast, but cook everything at once and something is going to burn”.

Figure It Out

Leave it to my mom to give me sweet words of wisdom, but a swift kick in the rear too. At some point in life, you realize that your parents aren’t superheroes. They are human and are figuring life out one day at a time, just like we are. Newsflash, they’ve never been at the stage of life they’re in now, just like we have never been where we are now. So, if life seems crazy confusing to you from time to time, I think we’ve all just joined adulthood. Mom kindly reminded me that everyone is still figuring it out from day to day. “No one has all the answers, and if they say they do, they’re lying”.

I hope you all had an amazing Mother’s Day whether you got to see your mom, are a new mom, wanting to be a mom, or are remembering your mother. Be Blessed.

-Chantel M. Rivera