Stop Telling Me It’s Scorpio Season

I think that looking up at the stars is clichéd. I know, the romantic in all of us is hollering, but I just don’t feel that pointing out shapes and constellations that I’m only pretending to see is my favorite pastime.

So, it goes to say then that I’m not a big believer in horoscopes either. I have a hard time believing that the movement of planets that are millions of miles away have ANY BEARING WHATSOEVER on my career or my social or romantic life.

As the great William Ernest Henley wrote, “I am the master of my fate, not some crappy dots that I’m pretending will have an impact on my near-to-not-so-distant future.”

Or something like that.

Whatever the case, I don’t religiously check my horoscope because I think it’s a bunch of hokum, drivel written by people who like to make crazy shit up to entertain the misguided masses.

Upon looking into this matter, I realized that my level of passion about this nonsensical idea that the stars and lunar energy and Mars moving into my whatever-house is apparently characteristic of my zodiac sign.


As it would seem, so is stubbornness. And loyalty. And intensity.

Yes, I’ll admit it. I’m a Scorpio.

And, while I admit that that does have a little bit of cache as the mysterious, troubled, dominant sign, I can’t help but giggle at the stock that people put into their signs.

I wish I could just walk into a room and start being an asshole, and then blame it on the alignment of the stars or Mercury in retrograde and just say, “Sorry, can’t help it. I’m a Scorpio.”

All I’m saying is, maybe there’s a little bit of truth in the whole horoscope thing. Maybe. Personally, I attribute my personality traits, the positive (there are many, I assure you) and the negative (decidedly less so, really), to a whole slew of things: my family, my faith, my education, and my consistent lack of supervision, just to name a few.

I don’t like the idea of giving stars and planets credit for the person I’m becoming. I think that I deserve a little more credit, not to mention all of the people who have helped shape my personality. I’m not saying that horoscopes have never and will never be accurate.

I’m just saying that I’m not ambitious, stubborn, brave, intuitive or dominant because I’m a Scorpio.

I’m ambitious, stubborn, brave, intuitive and dominant (along with about a gazillion other traits) because I’m me. And I’m the only star I want affecting my future.