The things you have to shake if your mom gave them to you, the junk in the trunk and the things men like to compare with summery fruits: boobs. For years and years I’ve heard the women in my life complain about their adorable perky girl-boobs and whine about how much they’d love to have a pair similar like mine. Read: a humongous set of breasts that are so in your face that I’ve come to call them ‘The girls’. When I was younger I loved my men-distractors but the last few years I have learned that there is nothing to be jealous about.
There are a few struggles every woman with more than a D-cup will recognize. If you are still considering getting your booberinos sized up a notch (or three), here are some things you should definitely keep in mind:
The constant aches in your back and neck. Literally every day and I’m not even kidding. But here’s the silver lining. The pain is at it’s worst after working out. Any idea where I’m going with this?
You have more chance of winning the lottery and a pink camel bringing you the good news than to find a shirt of which you can properly close the buttons.
‘The girls’ are adventurous. So always keep your guard up because they tend to want to see more of the world and leave the safe and warm environment of your shirt. Woops!
Remember that time you had the best time ever shopping for lingerie and bikinis? Be prepared for endless fittings, mental breakdowns in fitting rooms and boring old bra’s the size of a hot air balloon with the same amount of sex-appeal as the concrete road you drove to get here.
And if you think that letting ‘The girls’ hang loose for a day is an option, think again! The second you start walking down the stairs or go for a tiny run you will almost punch yourself in the face with your dangly friends.
Did this freak you out a bit and are you wondering if there is ANYTHING positive about having bigger boobs? There is. You will never have cold hands again because the area under your boobs feels like a desert 365 days a year. Win!