(Pity) Party of One

In my line of work (you know, being a 20-year-old girl and all the shenangigans that go along with that), I get asked a couple questions repeatedly.

Are you in school?

What do you want to do after you get out of school?

And my personal favorite: Do you have a boyfriend?

And the answer for all of them are simple:

Yes, I am in school. One of my favorite hobbies is putting myself in massive debt that I won’t be able to completely pay off until I’m 45.

After I graduate, I plan on crying daily about the massive debt that I won’t be able to pay off until I’m 45.

And no. I do not have a boyfriend.

(Unless you count mentally dating Orlando Bloom. Because if so, then yes. I’m happily taken!)

Sexy celebrities aside, after I tell people that I’m single, everyone always looks at me the same way. With a little bit of confusion, a little bit of amusement, and a whole lotta pity.

And I don’t understand why being single is something to be pitied!

I don’t have an issue with people in relationships. I am a firm believer that people should do what makes them happy, and if you want to be with someone, then make it happen! But I am going to have to pass on the whole relationship thing.

Our society, no matter how progressive we say we are, bases much of a woman’s value on the presence of a significant other. Women who choose to remain single are sort of breaking the age-old mold.

I don’t think that a 20-year-old woman should be required to date. I can’t even handle myself right now, let alone try to handle a relationship with another person! I’m in college, I have family obligations, and I have friends who are there for me. And that’s enough for me right now.

Plus, have you TALKED to any 20-year-old guys recently? At my school, most of them are frat bros who may or may not do highly illegal drugs and compete for the highest body count, athletes who are more concerned with slapping each other’s asses and sweating together, or dutiful boyfriends in long-distance relationships.

And the rest? Not interested, it would seem.

But that’s all okay, because I’m really not either. Life is too complicated at age 20 to have to worry about another person’s needs and problems, because most 20-year-olds can’t even handle their own issues. I’m one of them.

So stop pitying young women who aren’t interested in dating. Just because a woman is single doesn’t mean she will turn out to be a spinster or an old maid or a weird cat lady who collects her own fingernail trimmings. It means that she is trying to get a grasp on her hectic life before bringing someone else into it.

And good for her.