Living with your significant other can be challenging. Even if you've found your perfect match, there are moments when you question if you're meant to be together. It's normal, we've all been there, and if it haven't happened to you, love - It will!
There will be moments when you just don't see eye to eye on a situation, and might even say mean things to each other. The heat of the moment can be your worst enemy. Unfortunately enough, those evil comments, will never be erased from the mind of the victim.
I wanted to share with you a couple of my learnings... so you hopefully don't go and fuck up as much as I've done through the course of my life:
- If you don't have something good to say, don't say nothing at all. For realz! It sounds cliche, and I bet you've heard it a thousand times, but for God sake: Think twice after you say something. If the argument is taking place via text, take a moment to practice deep breathing, or to take a walk, before you send that text. As I mentioned before, you can fix everything, but mean comments can never be taken back
- Don't let external factors affect the relationship. Ok - I wasn't able to find a more catchy tittle. What I mean is that you should try to separate situations. Sometimes in life, there are several things going the wrong way, and we tend to make a toxic cocktail, where our significant other takes the fire. A good option is to identify what is making you feel uncomfortable, and address it with the cause. Eg:
Situation (potential toxic cocktail):
Your boss is giving you 400 assignments that will lead to a 60 hours week, your dog peed on the couch, your best friend is having happy hour without you (and posting it all over Instagram), and your boyfriend forgot about your anniversary. UGH!!!!
-Talk to your boss, and tell her/him you sincerely want to do it all. However you still have only 2 hands, and will need extra back up, OR a little extra payment love.
-... i still don't know what to do about the dog, just clean the mess and pray to God it doesn't happen again.
-Text your BFF asap and let her know that it's not ok what she is doing, tell her how you feel, instead of making a whole petty drama
-Kill him with kindness - did he forget your anniversary? Try this once, and I promise you it will work! Invite him to dinner, and remind him why you guys are together. Be that charming, and loving girl you are. Then tell him that today is your special date. Most importantly, make him/her remember why you're relationship is one in a kind!
Situation solved with all the separate parties.. and your boyfriend only got the heat he deserved!
- Don't be afraid of saying sorry - I know those two words can be hard to say. Don't let your ego get in the way of your happiness. Did you fuck up? Be the bigger person and admit it. I promise you'll feel a major relief once you've said it. The best part, is that saying "I'm sorry" can work like magic! After saying it (and truly being sorry), the chances of fixing a disagreement are exponentially higher
- It's really not working out? - Let things go! - I'm not saying in here you should give up. However, sometimes we get attached to relationships that are not good for us. For a reading about this matter. Check out my article about that scary "escalation of commitment" issue.
I hope these little tips are helpful to you. I hope you solve whatever misunderstanding you're having. I also hope you are happy, and don't let stupid bullshit affect your days. Remember that life is now, and we have the power to craft a beautiful present.
With so much love,