Becoming an adult is complicated. I'm 28 years old and most of the days I feel like a baby in the body of a grown up. I don't know if it's a millennial thing (cough, cough - almost too old to be a millennial), but I can't even understand how my parents had 2 kids at my age, and were even thinking about the third one.
It seems to me like only a second has passed by after I graduated from college, started working, got a masters, and somehow got married. Legitimately, I don't know when it all happened. I have a baby dog, and I feel like it's more than enough to take care of, considering my level of maturity. I've learned to feed myself (yes, because my parents babied my until I was 23 years old), keep the house "cleanish", and make monthly car payments.
It seems like everything is taking place, and everything seems to get figured out by itself. However, there is one piece of adulthood that doesn't fit the "perfect system" formula. What is it? One of the most important "F" words. You're right... Friendships! (You dirty minded, what did you think it was?)
Finding new friends is almost impossible nowadays. Where are those people who like you for who you are, instead of for what you can get them? - I moved across the country almost 2 years ago, and I can legit count with my hand how many actual friends I've made in this time.
I came from SF to Miami, which is a highly superficial place, and everything is moved by social media influencer wannabes, fancy goods, looks, and partying.. but wait a minute: What happens when you are not like that? What happens when you don't give a f!ck about spending your whole paycheck on a Gucci bag, or going out to the hottest club? - Well let me tell you. It's hard to fit in, and finding people that can have a real conversation gets harder than mining for bitcoins right now.
I guess this whole rant about perfect Miami butts comes from the fact that one of my best friends' bday is this week, and I couldn't be happier, she's been there for me for the good, and the bad. I've been silently thinking how much of a gem she is, and that I could not imagine going through it all without her sassy as$.
A couple of months ago I lost a family member- yes, It was my dog - he got a crazy illness that got him really fast. During that rough period (a month or so) many people who I considered my "close" Miami friends showed their true colors. I was suddenly not invited to parties, and let’s not even mention that they didn’t even ask how my baby was doing. I even remember receiving a text saying something between the lines of "let us know when all this is over so we can hang out".
I know it sounds awful, but today I'm so happy it all happened. It was more like a life signal to open my eyes and realize who is there for the right reasons. I'm no big sh!t, but I'm a great friend (high self esteem rush right here), and dedicating time to people who are worth my while is so freaking amazing. Hard times serve as a life purge - so dark, right?-
All this word vomit comes to an end with 2 lovely conclusions:
1. - Have a good friend? Hold tight to that mofo, because they're hella hard to find – JUST LIKE A UNICORN!- No matter their weirdness, they are keepers
2. - Going through a rough time? Let things be, no mater how uncomfortable everything is right now... you'll grow, and will learn to value yourself. Because YOU ARE FREAKING WORTH IT!
With much love,