I’ve been telling myself that it’s time for me to delete Tinder.
I really have. And I’ve been so close to actually doing it, but my need for summertime entertainment in the form of pickup lines and left swipes always wins out.
Lately, though, it hasn’t been as entertaining, and I had an epiphany as to why.
I am nearly 6’3”. My Tinder bio says so.
(It has to, because the only thing more annoying than someone telling me that I’m tall is someone asking exactly how tall I am.)
But EVERY SINGLE match I get on this stupid app leads to the same thing. A boring, unoriginal message about how he’d like to “climb me like a tree” or about how “he has a thing for tall girls.”
And then I finally put a point on why Tinder is not the ego boost that it should be for me. Because I am being reduced to my height.
The minute I realized this, I also realized that it isn’t just Tinder that proves this to me. My height is always a talking point. It’s what makes the creepy guy in the bar wearing flared jeans and flip-flops sidle up to me and start up a conversation with “I couldn’t help but notice a tall woman such as yourself.”
(To which I would respond, “Well that makes us even, because I saw that your sense of style was criminal from three bars over.”)
But seriously, though. It’s not just tall women. It’s plus-size women (“It’s okay that you’re big, I have a thing for big girls”), women with glasses (“that makes you innocent, right?”), women with red hair (“I heard gingers are supposed to be fiery in bed”), women from different cultures/of different races/ethnicities, etc.
Basically, there are many, many men out there that reduce wonderful, vibrant, multidimensional women to a single facet of their being. I.e. their height, their weight, their skin color, their ethnicity, their accent, their hair, you name it.
And it sucks. It’s degrading, only being seen and “appreciated” for one thing when, let’s face it. We’re the WHOLE package, am I right?
It’s just one more thing that we have to remind ourselves. It’s shitty to be reduced to a singular label, but as strong, fierce women today, it’s just one more ass we have to kick.