Monday June 5th, 2017
I’ve always been the romantic type. Since I was a little girl, I watched Pocahontas choose John Smith and Ariel chose Eric. These are the love stories that inspired me to follow the mission of finding my perfect mate.
My first real relationship was my high school sweetheart. We shared a lot together. To the point where we became each other. Everyone knew me as “his girlfriend,” and not necessarily as me, Celine. After we split in college, I realized there was a lot to figure out about who I was.
In college I met a lot of love potentials, but being fresh out of a 4 year relationship had me unprepared for all of the games these love potentials played. I was heartbroken. One after another, ignored texts to cheating, I had completely lost hope on finding love. Because this is what it’s like now, right?
Generation-Y Boys don’t call you, they won’t even text you. And when they see you in public, they act like they don’t know you. There's always another girl lined up to take your place, and the fear that if you don’t please him, he’ll never talk to you again.
By my Junior year in college, I was jaded. Completely done searching and although still carried hope that I’d one day find love, I knew it wasn’t going to be at college.
After school I moved straight to NYC to pursue my career and find love. But after many-a-bumble swipes, and random encounters at events, I realized this was just a bigger playground for the players of love.
“So forget it,” I said. No more searching, no more hope that i’ll meet him through serendipity. I mean what a fucking waste of time! It had been 5 years and my beautiful, educated, brown self couldn’t find ONE potential?
I was so mad, I planned to do what all great artists did. I threw my emotions into my work, I worked hard and never picked my head up. I was completely driven and focused on bettering MY life, because honestly, what else is life about?
I became the new kind of single. I really started to enjoy being alone. I valued this time I had to myself where I would take myself out for meals and get lost for hours in Barnes & Noble. I straight up treated myself ALL the time. And it felt great.
One day on the train, as I buried my head in a novel, a man came up to me and said, “Excuse me, but you are glowing.” Just assuming it was a stranger hitting on me, I politely smiled and replied “Thank you,” and went back to reading. He then said, “No, really, you’re glowing…What are you doing that makes you so happy?”
It was that moment that I realized, how happy with my life I actually was. And all it took was some love and devotion to moi. I mean I took myself out on dates, treated myself to the things that I loved and put my full focus into the things I loved to do.
I laugh hysterically at the days where I feared losing someone who barely put any devotion into a bond that we could have had. Because I don’t deserve that. I deserve someone who loves me as much as I do, (if not more.) And let me tell you, learning to love yourself is the key to not just finding love, but all of the successes of your life.
So cheers, to loving you.