nthony Robbins has this awesome talk that lays out the 6 human needs: certainty, variety, significance, love and connection, growth and contribution. One of the surest ways to maintain happiness in life is to rely on growth as one of your top values.
Seeking personal growth means that you are finding joy in the journey of life itself, rather than a very specific result. When you observe that you respond, rather than react, to life’s circumstances in a more empowered way – that’s what growth-derived joy is all about.
This means that seeking personal growth is about:
(1) Changing your relationship with obstacles: instead of judging or trying to fix yourself as you go through an obstacle, this new relationship involves loving acceptance.
It’s actually really simple: as you notice your body constricting, or you experience sadness, anger, jealousy, etc., try the following:
a. Breathing love into the part of you that is constricted. You can do this by thinking of your favorite being, an animal or small child that you love unconditionally, imagining that love from your heart is flowing into the part of you that is constricted.
The beauty in this is that it will help you begin to cultivate a powerful sense of self love and self-acceptance, beyond dependence on particular results or criteria to give yourself love. Through doing this exercise regularly, you will love to welcome all parts of you.
b. As an obstacle appears in your life, ask it: what are you here to teach me? What is the lesson in this form me? Close your eyes, get really mindful, and listen.
(2) Taking one, very small step outside your comfort zone. Personal growth doesn’t involve a big leap, because this can put us in a state of trauma response or paralyzing fear. But taking a tiny step and checking out what a slightly expanded zone is like – that’s growth.
Connect with me on Instagram @soulintheraw if this resonates with you. I'd love to hear any insights that came through for you.