Learning to Be Alone: The Surprising Power of Solitude for Self-Discovery

Why Being Alone Is Hard—but Transformative

Being alone can feel especially hard when loneliness hits, but these moments can become a magical sanctuary of self-awareness and acceptance. Over time, embracing solitude fosters self-love—the foundation for a life that feels truly rich and vibrant.

It’s not easy. The process is vulnerable and uncomfortable, often bringing intense emotional release. Yet, embracing solitude is, in my experience, one of the most tangible ways to cultivate self-love.

My First Steps: Moving Across the Country

My journey started when I moved from a small California suburb to a suburb of Philadelphia for college. I didn’t know anyone, and my familiar privacy vanished when I shared a room with six other girls.

Being alone initially brought anxiety about what others thought. I coped by keeping my headphones in and staying busy, but eventually, I realized I didn’t actually know—or care—what others thought. Running errands and taking walks alone became manageable. The real challenge? Exploring new experiences on my own.

Trying New Experiences Solo

I began attending activities that none of my friends were interested in:

• Clubs and raves
• Night art markets
• Tango classes and surfing lessons
• Restaurants, both fancy and casual

Initially, my anxiety returned, but the more I challenged myself, the more I examined my fears. The shift wasn’t about other people’s opinions—it was about understanding the real source of my fear.

Turning Fear into a Companion

Over time, I personified my fear and anxiety as a part of myself I could converse with. Surprisingly, it wasn’t so bad. My fear was simply trying to protect me from rejection.

By accepting this part of myself, I lifted a huge emotional burden. Giving myself the love I had always sought from others allowed me to form deeper, healthier relationships. I no longer relied on external validation, making every connection more meaningful.

Building a Stronger Relationship With Yourself

Human connection is vital, but the most important relationship begins with yourself. By learning to understand, accept, and love myself, I now approach life with greater introspection and self-awareness.

I am still a work in progress, discovering more about myself every day. But embracing solitude has allowed me to cultivate resilience, self-love, and a deeper understanding of my mind and heart.

Feeling Anxious? 5 Empowering Ways to Calm Your Mind Before Medication

Anxiety affects millions of people, often showing up as racing thoughts, chest tightness, or a constant sense of unease. While it can feel overwhelming, there are proven ways to manage anxiety naturally and regain control of your life. Here are five strategies you can start practicing today.

1. Practice Mindfulness Meditation

Mindfulness meditation is one of the most effective tools for reducing anxiety. By focusing on the present moment, you weaken the grip anxious thoughts have over your mind. Studies show that consistent meditation practice can decrease anxiety levels and improve overall mental well-being. Over time, it helps retrain your brain to respond differently to stress.

2. Exercise Regularly

Physical activity is a natural anxiety reliever. Exercise releases endorphins, the brain’s “feel-good” chemicals, which elevate mood and reduce stress. Even 20–30 minutes of moderate exercise, like brisk walking or yoga, can significantly lower anxiety levels. Exercise also promotes better sleep, which is crucial for managing stress.

3. Limit Caffeine and Alcohol

What you consume affects your anxiety. Caffeine, found in coffee, sodas, and energy drinks, can heighten anxiety symptoms by increasing heart rate and jitteriness. Alcohol may seem calming at first, but it disrupts sleep and can worsen anxiety over time. Being mindful of your intake can help maintain emotional balance.

4. Establish a Relaxing Sleep Routine

Sleep is essential for mental health. Inadequate rest makes it harder to cope with stress, while a consistent sleep schedule supports emotional recovery. Aim for 7–9 hours of restful sleep by creating a calming bedtime routine. Try warm baths, avoiding screens, and practicing relaxation techniques to ease your mind before bed.

5. Practice Deep Breathing Exercises

Anxiety often causes shallow, rapid breathing, which worsens feelings of panic. Deep breathing exercises, like diaphragmatic breathing—breathing deeply into your belly—activate your body’s relaxation response. This simple technique can calm the mind, lower heart rate, and reduce anxiety symptoms in moments of stress.

Take Back Control of Your Anxiety

Managing anxiety is a journey, and what works for one person may not work for another. By experimenting with these strategies—mindfulness, exercise, sleep routines, limiting stimulants, and deep breathing—you can reclaim your sense of balance and peace.

Remember to be gentle with yourself and give your mind and body time to adjust. With persistence and self-care, finding calm amidst life’s chaos is possible.

Sexy Shades of Black: 40 Fearless Women Redefining Sexy on Their Own Terms

What happens when 40 fearless Black women come together to redefine beauty standards? In a powerful celebration of sisterhood, these incredible women embraced their unique skin tones, body shapes, and cultural backgrounds. The event, aptly named “Sexy Shades of Black,” was more than a gathering—it was a movement honoring the beauty, diversity, and empowerment of Black women.

Celebrating Diversity in Black Womanhood

From deep, rich melanin tones to golden and caramel shades, these women proudly embraced their individuality. Body shapes of all sizes were equally celebrated, demonstrating that true beauty is not defined by a single standard but by curves, strength, and uniqueness.

As the event’s powerful mantra stated:
“Sexy is diverse. It is fearless. It is proud. Sexy is loving the skin you're in.”

The event actively broke down traditional beauty standards that have long excluded women of color. By celebrating natural beauty, it sent a bold message of body positivity for Black women everywhere.

Why Body Positivity for Black Women Matters

Mainstream media often underrepresents women of color. Sexy Shades of Black created a space where Black women could honor their natural bodies without compromise—from natural hair textures to diverse body shapes.

Each participant’s story reflected a journey of self-acceptance, resilience, and pride. The event empowered women to embrace their beauty unapologetically, reinforcing that self-love and confidence are the foundation of true empowerment.

Building Unshakable Sisterhood

A key highlight of the event was the unbreakable sisterhood that formed among attendees. Mothers, entrepreneurs, artists, and activists found common ground through their shared experiences as Black women. This sense of community emphasized the importance of support, solidarity, and collective empowerment.

Standing Together in Empowerment

By uniting and celebrating these women’s unique journeys, Sexy Shades of Black provided a space for Black women to be seen, heard, and celebrated. In a society that often overlooks their contributions, this movement served as a reminder that Black women are fearless, proud, and undeniably sexy.

She Showed Up Unfiltered—and Completely Changed How We See Beauty

Back in 2018, I traveled to the vibrant streets of Miami—a city with sun-kissed beaches and a rich, diverse culture. It was the perfect backdrop for my mission: capturing women in their most natural form. One shoot, in particular, left a lasting impression: Gabriela, a stunning Latina woman, embracing her curves, cellulite, and hip dips.

Embracing Natural Beauty: Gabriela’s Story

Gabriela’s confidence radiated throughout the session. It reminded me that beauty isn’t about perfection—it’s about embracing the raw, real aspects of who we are. Her cellulite? Part of her story. Her hip dips? They make her uniquely her. These natural traits define true beauty, yet society often pressures women to hide or alter them.

The Power of Cellulite and Hip Dips

Cellulite affects nearly 90% of women, yet it remains heavily stigmatized. According to Healthline, understanding the science behind cellulite can help break these beauty myths.

Gabriela’s hip dips are another natural feature many women feel pressured to change through workouts or surgery. Publications like Refinery29 highlight why embracing these curves is essential: bodies are meant to have unique shapes, curves, and dips.

Why Authentic Photography Matters

This shoot reaffirmed why I love photographing women authentically—without heavy makeup, editing, or enhancements. Allowing a woman to be seen exactly as she is is liberating and empowering.

Capturing Gabriela’s natural beauty showed me that real women redefine beauty by celebrating themselves—cellulite, curves, and hip dips included.

Redefining Beauty Standards

It’s time to stop hiding and start celebrating natural bodies. Real beauty lies in embracing imperfections, owning your curves, and confidently showing up as you are. Gabriela’s session is a reminder that the camera—and the world—is ready to embrace authenticity.

Let’s stop hiding. Let’s celebrate.

The Ancient Math Behind Why We Can’t Stop Admiring Women’s Curves

There’s something undeniably captivating about the natural curves of a woman’s body, especially her butt. These curves are often celebrated for their beauty, but they may also be connected to something much deeper: a mathematical phenomenon found throughout nature—the Fibonacci Spiral.

The Fibonacci sequence creates the Golden Ratio, a pattern present in seashells, galaxies, and even the curvature of the human body. The way a woman’s hips and buttocks flow can be understood through this same harmonious design.

The Golden Ratio and the Female Form

The Fibonacci Spiral isn’t just a concept found in nature—it appears in the elegant curves of the human body. A woman’s back arches into her hips and flows into her butt, reflecting a fluid pattern similar to the spiral. Studies show that curves are perceived as more attractive when they follow symmetrical patterns, which may explain why the human eye finds these shapes so appealing.

This connection is especially visible in the hourglass figure, long celebrated as a symbol of fertility and health. The curvature of the hips and butt aligns with the flow of the Fibonacci Spiral, creating a shape that resonates with the same mathematical beauty seen in natural forms like seashells and spiral staircases.

Why We’re Naturally Drawn to Curves

Attraction to curves isn’t just cultural—it’s biological. Research indicates that humans are instinctively drawn to symmetry and proportions that mirror the Golden Ratio. This natural preference explains why the hourglass figure, with its curves and balance, has been admired across centuries and cultures.

The waist-to-hip ratio, echoing the Fibonacci Spiral, is a key factor in perceived attractiveness. The natural curves of the hips and butt represent balance and harmony, which the human brain instinctively recognizes and appreciates.

Embracing Your Natural Curves

Understanding the connection between the Fibonacci Spiral and a woman’s body offers a fresh perspective on beauty. Your curves aren’t just cultural—they are reflections of nature’s most elegant patterns.

For those struggling with body image, this connection is empowering. The curves you see in the mirror aren’t simply aesthetically pleasing—they’re mathematically harmonious, celebrating the natural alignment and beauty of your body.

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Natural Beauty in Every Curve

The Golden Ratio reminds us that perfection isn’t about rigid standards—it’s about balance and harmony. Women’s bodies, with their variety and uniqueness, reflect this balance. From the roundness of the hips to the natural curve of the butt, each body tells a story of growth, elegance, and beauty.

By embracing your natural shapes, you celebrate physical beauty and connect with a universal pattern that has shaped the world for millennia. In a society that often promotes unrealistic beauty standards, it’s crucial to remember that natural bodies are already perfect by design—just like the Fibonacci Spiral.

The Gym Owner Who Teaches Self-Love: Stop Comparing, Start Celebrating Yourself

Navigating the path to self-love and body confidence can often feel challenging. Apolonia Calleja, aka Apples, is a seasoned fitness trainer, gym owner, and Bare Model who embodies the spirit of embracing oneself fully. Her career, dedicated to helping others achieve their health goals, mirrors her personal mastery of self-love.

Apples' journey offers inspiration for anyone striving to nurture both body and spirit.

Learning to Love Your Evolving Body

Her journey aligns perfectly with her role as a Bare Model at OBARE, where celebrating the natural evolution of the body is at the heart of our mission. She explains:

“As I get older, I am learning to accept how my body changes. If you continue to love and pour into yourself, you will always accept what changes your body is making and embrace it.”

This mindset reminds us that self-love is a continuous journey, not a destination. The more effort we put into ourselves, the more we appreciate the natural evolution of our bodies.

Fitness as a Lifestyle, Not Just a Look

For Apples, fitness is more than a way to stay in shape; it’s a lifestyle. She shares:

“Being able to stay active and just move my body is a blessing.”

As a trainer and gym owner at LIV FIT (@livfitgymfacility) she emphasizes that fitness is crucial for longevity and vitality:

“I want to live a long life and be the best I can be for my son and future kids!”

Fitness, to her, isn’t just about appearance—it’s about embracing the gift of movement and the promise of a vibrant life.

Confidence Through Hard Work and Self-Acceptance

Apples’ confidence is inspiring. As a mother who works diligently to maintain her body, she takes pride in her accomplishments:

“The female body is remarkable, and recognizing that gives me confidence.”

She celebrates her hard work joyfully:

“After all those squats, why skip the bikini? No way—I’m rocking it!”

This bold celebration shows that true confidence stems from perseverance and self-acceptance.

Balance, Kindness, and Enjoying the Journey

Maintaining kindness toward oneself while working on fitness goals is central to Apples’ approach. She emphasizes balance:

“With all the hard work, I do my best to still treat myself.”

Her philosophy: work hard for a short time, enjoy life, and avoid misery. She encourages listening to your body and savoring the journey, combining diligence with enjoyment.

Stop Comparing, Start Loving Yourself

Apples’ advice for women hesitant to show their bodies is empowering:

“Work hard! You know what is good and bad for you. Stop comparing yourself to others and love on yourself!”

She highlights the importance of focusing on personal progress and trusting one’s own efforts:

“If you are doing all the things that serve you, you will eventually find the self-love and confidence to be happy and proud to show off your beautiful body!”

Her message is clear: embrace individuality and celebrate the unique beauty that comes from being true to yourself.

Embrace Your Body and Celebrate Self-Love

As a Bare Model, Apples’ journey demonstrates that self-love, confidence, and a healthy lifestyle are deeply interconnected. Her insights inspire us to embrace our bodies with pride, find joy in our fitness journeys, and always be kind to ourselves. Loving and celebrating our bodies is the ultimate act of self-respect and joy.

For our first shoot with Apples, click [here]. And if you haven’t already, follow here for more inspirational content: @apoloniacalleja

She Spent Years Hating Her Body—Here’s the Secret to Loving It

Until One Bold Decision Taught Her to Love It

In the vibrant cityscape of Orlando, where sunshine paints the world in hues of warmth and magic dances through the air, we uncover the inspiring narrative of Courtney Faith—a 24-year-old beacon of self-love against the backdrop of fairy tales and palm trees.

The Struggle We All Know

For much of her life, Courtney carried the weight of insecurity. Like so many women, she felt pressured by society’s standards—filters, diets, and beauty ideals that seemed impossible to reach. The reflection in the mirror was rarely met with kindness.

Her story mirrors what countless women experience but rarely say out loud. It’s the quiet self-doubt that creeps in during a fitting room, the endless scrolling through social media, the comparisons that never seem to stop.

Focusing on What Her Body Can Do

Rather than fixating on appearance, Courtney learned to focus on what her body could accomplish. She explored a diverse array of activities—dance classes, boxing, running, pole dancing—each contributing to a positive spirit that resonated within both body and mind.

Positive affirmations became the brushstrokes of self-love, painting a healthier relationship with herself. In the ever-changing landscape of her body, she found pride in accomplishments and became an inspiration for others striving to be healthy.

The Bold Decision That Changed Everything

Courtney reached a turning point. Instead of trying to shrink herself, she chose to step into her true self—embracing the curves, freckles, and every part of her that once felt like something to hide.

That decision was radical not because it changed her body, but because it changed the way she saw her body.

She began to speak to herself with the same love she had always given others. In doing so, she discovered the freedom of living unfiltered and real.

Why Her Story Matters

Courtney’s journey reminds us that confidence isn’t built in a day—it’s nurtured in the small, intentional choices we make daily.

This truth lies at the heart of our mission at OBARE: to celebrate women in their most authentic form. Just as Courtney learned to love herself without filters, our community thrives on radical honesty, empowerment, and sisterhood.

Want to dive deeper? Read our feature on Willow's journey to embracing her natural beauty for another powerful story of self-love.

A Lesson for Us All

Self-love doesn’t come from diets, filters, or chasing perfection. It comes from accepting that who you are—right now—is already enough.

Courtney’s story isn’t just about one woman in Orlando. It’s a reflection of a movement: women everywhere choosing themselves, rewriting beauty standards, and embracing what makes them beautifully human.

To see more of Courtney follow her on IG @thecourtneyfaith

She Battled Anorexia at 17 — Then Picked Up a Camera and It Changed Everything

Meet Zoe Waechter, a 23-year-old French woman born in Bastia, Corsica, with a rich heritage spanning Kabyle and German descent. Today, we explore Zoe’s inspiring story of how photography became a powerful tool in helping her appreciate and love her body.

Zoe’s Journey of Self-Discovery Through Photography

Zoe’s relationship with her body has been far from simple. Like many women, she faced immense pressure to conform to society’s beauty standards, leading her down a dangerous path. At just 17, Zoe struggled with anorexia, a dark period where her mind and body waged a relentless battle.

Growing up in a culture that glorified a narrow body type, Zoe often felt inadequate. To meet these unrealistic expectations, she subjected her body to trauma, striving for an elusive “ideal.” But then, something transformative happened—Zoe discovered photography.

Through the lens, she began to see herself differently. Exploring her image from multiple angles and in various styles allowed her to reframe her self-perception and step away from the negative beliefs that had haunted her for years.

Finding Zoe’s Place: A Turning Point in Greece

The most significant shift in Zoe’s journey toward self-acceptance came when she found her sanctuary in Greece. Moving there in October, she discovered a sense of peace and fulfillment that had eluded her for years. Greece became a refuge from self-doubt, a place where Zoe could finally feel aligned with her body and identity.

Embracing Zoe’s Favorite Feature: Her Eyes

When asked about her favorite part of her body, Zoe immediately points to her eyes. “They are the windows to my identity, my mood, and my emotions,” she says. Unlike her ongoing struggles with areas like her thighs or stomach, her eyes have always been a source of self-love—a reminder of her true self.

Zoe’s Message of Hope for Women

For women struggling to embrace their bodies, Zoe shares a powerful message: your relationship with your body can evolve. Even in the darkest moments, self-love is possible. Life is full of ups and downs, and every experience is part of your personal growth. Reconnect with yourself, pursue what brings you joy, and understand that the journey toward self-love is ongoing.

3 Tips From Zoe to Boost Confidence

1. Recognize Your Worth
Stop underestimating yourself. Celebrate even the smallest daily achievements and acknowledge your intrinsic value.

2. Social Media Awareness
Distance yourself from overly curated online content. Understand that much of what you see on social media, especially in photography, is retouched. Real beauty is not airbrushed perfection.

3. Practice Self-Reliance
Embrace your ability to take care of yourself independently. Solo travel or personal projects can be transformative, helping you grow and discover your true strength.

Photography and Self-Love: Zoe’s Guiding Lights

Photography and finding her place in Greece have been pivotal in Zoe’s journey toward self-acceptance. She encourages women to embark on their own paths of self-discovery, reminding them that even in challenging moments, there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

Every step forward is a step toward self-love, confidence, and a more fulfilling future.

Want to read more inspiring stories? Check out our feature on Courtney Faith’s journey to body positivity.

To see more of Zoe follow her on Instagram @zoewaectr

From Insecurity to Inspiration: How She Transformed Self-Doubt Into Art

How Georgia Found Confidence and Self-Love Through Creativity

At just 8 or 9 years old, Georgia was mesmerized by an M&S Christmas advent, captivated by the ethereal models who seemed to embody grace and beauty. That moment ignited a lifelong passion for art, self-expression, and creativity.

Today, Georgia is a vibrant 27-year-old artist, photographer, and mother who radiates confidence—though her journey hasn’t been free from insecurities.

"I've never called myself a model before. Maybe I should start? I don't know. All I know is I'm a girl who loves to be in front and behind the camera. It's freeing," she reflects.

From Insecurities to Self-Expression

Georgia’s journey has been one of self-discovery, courage, and body confidence. Through painting and photography, she’s found healing and empowerment.

Her art offers subjects a powerful gift: the chance to see themselves as magnificent works of art. In doing so, she discovered a truth many women need to hear—our insecurities are often invisible to others, even when they feel overwhelming to us.

Embracing Her Body and Her Journey

Motherhood deepened Georgia’s gratitude for her body. She proudly celebrates the victories it has given her, like bringing two daughters into the world and breastfeeding for 18 months.

Georgia now encourages other women to:

• Embrace their bodies without shame.
• Appreciate the journey, not just the destination.
• Practice unconditional self-love.

The Camera as Confidence

Photography is where Georgia feels most confident and liberated. Behind and in front of the lens, she connects with her sensual, powerful self—a version of her that daily life as a working mother sometimes dims.

"You have to stop caring what other people think," she says. While it may sound cliché, Georgia believes this mindset shift is the foundation of lasting self-confidence.

Her advice is simple: Wear what makes you feel good, not just what looks good. Confidence starts with joy and radiates outward.

Courage Before Confidence

Georgia lives by one simple mantra:

“First comes courage, then comes confidence.”

To her, courage is the first step to transformation. Each small act of bravery—whether in art, photography, or motherhood—builds confidence that blooms over time.

Why Georgia’s Story Matters

Georgia’s journey reminds us that:

• Self-love is learned, not given.
• Body confidence is personal.
• Art can be healing.
• Courage unlocks confidence.

Through her paintbrush and her lens, she captures the beauty she sees in others while learning to embrace her own.

Want more inspiration? Check out Apolonia’s journey to celebrating her body for tips on self-confidence.

Connect With Georgia

Georgia’s journey is a powerful ode to self-love, artistry, and resilience. To follow her work and see more of her photography, connect with her on Instagram: @_giababyy

Discover how stripping away the filters reveals the kind of beauty you’ve always had

In a world of ever-changing beauty standards, Bare Model Arielle shines as a symbol of self-love and empowerment. With Guatemalan, Dominican, Italian, and German roots, she celebrates her unique identity and natural beauty, inspiring women everywhere to embrace their curves and authenticity.

From Guatemala to Los Angeles: A Journey of Identity and Insecurities

At just six years old, Arielle moved from Guatemala to the vibrant city of Los Angeles. Now 28, she reflects on the challenges of learning to love her body.

With her curvy petite frame, she often compared herself to unrealistic ideals—a thigh gap, skinny legs, and a flat stomach. But over time, Arielle realized that chasing those standards only created more self-doubt.

Fitness as a Tool for Empowerment

A turning point came when Arielle began incorporating fitness into her life. Through regular exercise, consistency, and determination, she learned to celebrate her body for its strength and resilience.

Strong became beautiful. Curves became alluring. And her uniqueness became her greatest gift.

Her journey is living proof that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, especially in her petite frame.

The Bold Shoot That Changed Everything

The Barefaced Photoshoot

One of Arielle’s most pivotal moments was her OBARE photoshoot. As a proud Bare Model, she shot completely without makeup—raw and unfiltered, it showcased both her vulnerability and her confidence. For the first time, she saw herself exactly as she truly was—inside and out.

Arielle’s Topless Moment: Her Body as a Canvas

Going topless as a Bare Model gave Arielle a new sense of freedom.

She embraced her curves, stretch marks, and cellulite as symbols of authenticity and self-confidence, turning her body into a living work of art.

“These natural aspects are beautiful testaments to the realness of the female body,” Arielle says.

Arielle’s Message on Body Confidence and Self-Love

For anyone struggling with body image, Arielle’s advice is simple but powerful:

“Embrace your uniqueness, for you were born perfect.”

As a Bare Model, she reminds women that confidence isn’t about external validation—it’s about self-love and personal growth. True confidence radiates from within, attracting positive energy and opportunities.

Why Arielle’s Story Matters for Every Woman

Our world is flooded with fleeting trends, and Arielle’s journey is proof that loving yourself is timeless. Beauty standards may change, but self-acceptance and confidence never go out of style. Her story is a reminder to focus on what really matters—personal growth, inner joy, and the power of embracing your unique beauty.

Follow Arielle

To see more of Arielle’s journey, follow her on Instagram: @ariellelopezzz

From Shame to Song: A Nashville Singer’s Empowering Journey

Meet Bailey Nrushlow, a 27-year-old Nashville singer-songwriter with a rich heritage spanning Scottish, Greek, French, and Cherokee roots. Her journey of self-discovery, self-love, and body acceptance has not only shaped her artistry but also inspired others to embrace their authentic selves.

Bailey’s Early Struggles With Body Image

Like many women, Bailey faced challenges appreciating her body. At just 14, she experienced self-doubt while struggling to fit into her swimsuit for swim-team practice. Seeing her body’s changes—stretch marks, softness, and curves—left her questioning herself.

Compounded by societal beauty standards and religious conditioning, Bailey felt pressured to conform. These influences made her believe that fully accepting her body was abnormal.

The Path to Self-Appreciation and Body Love

It took a decade of growth and self-discovery for Bailey to find comfort in her own skin. She learned to embrace her menstrual cycle, celebrate her body’s natural abilities, and take pride in her curly hair and authentic self.

Breaking free from unrealistic beauty ideals allowed Bailey to live more freely and embrace her natural beauty, creating a foundation for self-love that radiates in her music and daily life.

For Bailey, music is more than a career—it’s a form of self-expression and empowerment. She aims for her songs to evoke emotions and resonate deeply with listeners, becoming the soundtrack to meaningful life moments—from first dances at weddings to moments of healing.

One song in particular, "(Simply) The Best," symbolizes her journey. Singing it as if proclaiming herself as the best version of herself gives Bailey confidence and serves as a reminder of her strength and beauty.

Bailey’s Message of Self-Love for Others

Bailey encourages women struggling with body image to:

• Care for themselves for their own sake, for ancestors, and for future generations.
• Recognize that self-acceptance starts individually, and each person has the power to create a more compassionate world.

3 Tips From Bailey to Build Confidence

1. Embrace Your Unique Perspective
Understand that everyone’s viewpoint is shaped by their own experiences. Loving yourself matters more than seeking validation from others.

2. Prioritize Your Happiness
If something brings joy, it doesn’t matter what others think. Living authentically unlocks your full potential.

3. Embrace Your Cosmic Blueprint
Every individual has a one-of-a-kind blueprint. Reject societal pressures, celebrate your uniqueness, and shine as the brilliant being you are.

Future Aspirations: Creativity and Community

Having traveled extensively, Bailey envisions a life filled with creative pursuits, connection, and self-expression. Her dream includes:

• A cozy cottage with a lush garden
• Continuing to create music
• Hosting her podcast, “The Cosmic Nomad”
• Raising confident children who embody self-love and acceptance

Discovering OBARE and Authentic Self-Expression

Bailey found OBARE formerly known as SundayMorningView in 2019, which inspired her to embrace her body without filters or makeup. The platform’s emphasis on real, unedited bodies helped her stop hiding behind societal conditioning and celebrate her authentic self.

A Source of Inspiration

In today’s society, where self-love can be challenging, Bailey’s story offers hope. Through her music, experiences, and advocacy for loving yourself, she inspires others to embrace their unique identity, and celebrate their bodies,

To see more of Bailey please follow her on Instagram @Baileynrushlow

What changes when you stop viewing yourself through someone else’s lens?

At 23, Alejandra—a woman of Dutch and Mexican heritage—began a transformative journey of self-discovery and self-love. In a society that often sexualizes women and imposes rigid beauty standards, she once struggled with her body image. Through introspection and a powerful shift in perspective, Bare Model Alejandra now embraces her natural body and inspires others to do the same.

Struggling with Society’s Beauty Standards

Alejandra candidly recalls feeling objectified and pressured to conform to society's narrow definition of beauty. For years, she tied her self-worth to physical appearance, longing to fit a specific mold for acceptance. Over time, she realized that true confidence cannot come from external validation—it must come from within.

Shifting Perspective: From External Validation to Self-Acceptance

The turning point came when Alejandra recognized that compliments or attention from others couldn’t fill the void inside. She understood that she had been seeing herself through the lens of men’s expectations, reducing her value to a mere object of desire. By celebrating her body at every stage of life, she discovered a deeper sense of self-worth.

Embracing Her Natural Beauty: A Liberating Photoshoot

In an empowering act of self-expression, Bare Model Alejandra participated in a raw, unfiltered OBARE photoshoot—without makeup. By capturing her authentic self, she challenged the notion that women must be “all done up” to be beautiful. Her message: beauty transcends superficial societal constructs.

Experiencing Body Liberation Through Art

Alejandra also explored the transformative power of nude photography—not to objectify herself, but to celebrate her body as art. Through this intimate and liberating experience, Bare Model Alejandra embraced her skin, curves, and emotions, allowing her a deeper relationship with her body.

Empowerment and Advocacy for Women

To women struggling with self-love, Alejandra offers a heartfelt message: recognize that mass media often manufactures beauty standards for ulterior motives. She encourages embracing personal standards, celebrating the body’s natural abilities, and honoring the miracle of carrying life.

Reframing Fitness: Mental and Physical Wellness First

Alejandra openly shares how the gym initially worsened her body dysmorphia. Over time, she shifted her focus from chasing an aesthetic ideal to prioritizing overall mental and physical well-being. She champions a holistic approach to fitness that celebrates health over appearance.

Looking Ahead: Fostering Self-Love and Acceptance

Alejandra’s vision is to empower women to connect deeply, beyond superficial expectations. She hopes to dismantle restrictive beauty standards, promoting a culture of self-love, acceptance, and holistic wellness.

May we all embrace our unique beauty, recognizing it as a force capable of changing the world—one empowered woman at a time.

Follow Alejandra on Instagram: @divinely.ale

She trained like a pro but still felt like she was losing—here’s what shifted.

What a fun and beautiful photoshoot we had with Alexandra Renee during our trip to Phoenix, Arizona! Her body? A literal work of art. Her personality? Just as colorful and inspiring. Now a proud Bare Model, Alexandra embraces her natural beauty and inspires others to do the same. We emailed Bare Model Alexandra a few real questions (the good, the messy, the “do people really ask this?” kind), and she didn’t hold back—opening up about self-love, body image struggles, fitness, and what it truly means to embrace yourself without filters.

Meet Alexandra Renee

• Ethnicity: Half Filipino, Half Caucasian
• Age: 26
• Passions: Personal training + semi-pro soccer (18 years of playing)
• Instagram: @alexandra_renee17

Q&A With Alexandra Renee

Have you ever struggled with weight gain?

“Oh, absolutely. Most of my life I was thinner because of soccer, but in the last two years I gained over 25 pounds. At first, I felt disgusting—but eventually I learned to appreciate my weight for what it is. Recently I lost the 25 pounds, and now I feel this is my forever home. I aim to nurture my body rather than beat myself up trying to be perfect.”

What about stretch marks—how do you feel about those?

“I used to hate them. Seriously, high school was brutal. But now? I look at them and say:

‘Damn, this is such a pretty feature to have.’ They show my progress, my growth, my story.”

What do you love most about your body now?

“I love how my body is my temple. I’ve made changes in how I take care of it, which has helped me focus more on how I feel internally. My body isn’t just physical—it’s a reflection of how I nurture myself.”

How was it shooting with no makeup?

“I loved it! I don’t usually wear much makeup anyway, so it felt amazing to be true to my natural skin and beauty.”

Was shooting implied empowering?

“At first? Totally nerve-wracking. But once I got comfortable, I felt confident in my skin. It made me appreciate my body even more.”

How has the gym influenced your confidence?

“Honestly, it’s a double-edged sword. Sometimes I’ve felt like I didn’t belong because I didn’t look like everyone else. But the flip side? I feel strong and empowered when I lift or hit a new PR. Strength isn’t just about looks—it’s about how your body feels.”

Any books or films inspiring you right now?

1. The Way by Emilio Estevez
2. The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
3. The Secret by Rhonda Byrne

What’s next for you?

“I want to keep transforming my body and pushing limits. Through personal training and Instagram, I hope to inspire others and maybe become someone people look up to.”

Why We Love Alexandra Renee

At the end of the day, Bare Model Alexandra Renee proves that beauty isn’t about perfection—it’s about the messy stuff. As a personal trainer and semi-pro soccer player, she’s all about showing that confidence comes from embracing yourself, not chasing someone else’s standards.

Want more inspiration? Follow Alexandra Renee on Instagram @alexandra_renee17 for fitness tips, and everyday motivation.

Cellulite, Quirks, and Confidence: Why Natural Beauty Is In!!

We had the pleasure of capturing Willow Johnson’s natural beauty. At OBARE, our goal is to celebrate women just as they are—unfiltered, no makeup, and yes, cellulite (aka dimples—look out for the D.I.M.P.L.E.S coffee table book coming soon!). Willow is now a proud Bare Model, embracing her body and inspiring others to do the same.

Instead of a face-to-face chat, we slid some questions to Bare Model Willow’s inbox, and what she shared was full of realness, and a whole lot of inspiration about embracing your body and owning your confidence

Willow shares her empowering message:

“I can workout and be fit, and still have cellulite, and that is OK!”

Meet Willow Johnson

• Ethnicity: Russian, Latvian, German, Mongolian
• Age: 24
• Passions: Professional volleyball, fitness, video games, photography, painting, guitar, singing, and experimenting in the kitchen

From Self-Criticism to Self-Love

Q: How have you struggled in the past to appreciate or love your body?

“I used to hate my rolls when I would sit down, my side profile, or the rolls on my back when I moved a certain way. Now I’ve learned to embrace these ‘flaws’ as part of me. There’s nothing wrong with my body when I sit or move a certain way. Take the differences you have from everyone else and embrace them.”

Loving Her Cellulite

Q: What about the cellulite on your butt?

“I think it’s completely normal. Even as an active person, I’m flawed and not airbrushed. I can workout and be fit, but still have cellulite, and that is OK!”

Standing Tall and Embracing Height

Q: How do you feel about your height now?

“I used to hate being tall and got bullied for it. Now I embrace being 6’2 and standing tall. I think it’s beautiful having long legs and being tall.”

Shooting With No Makeup and Full Confidence

Q: How was it shooting without makeup?

“I normally only wear makeup for events, so shooting bare-faced was amazing. It enhanced my natural skin and allowed me to be true to my beauty.”

Q: How about shooting implied?

“I was nervous about some of the nude photos—wondering how my body would look or if the shots would turn out good—but I was shocked and so happy with how beautiful they came out.”

Her Message to Women Struggling With Self-Love

Q: What advice do you have for other women?

“There is only one you in the whole world. Take the differences you have from everyone else and embrace them. You are beautiful, and the ‘flaws’ on your body are beautiful. I hope young women see Bare Model Willow’s photos on OBARE and feel inspired to love their own natural body.”

Why We Love Willow Johnson

Bare Model Willow proves that loving your body and building confidence aren’t about looking perfect—because honestly, who does that anyway? (LOL)—they’re about loving your natural body, your quirks, and your individuality. From cellulite to height to realness in front of the camera, she shows that strength and beauty come from accepting yourself as you are.

Follow Willow Johnson on Instagram @Willowj4 to see more of her journey, fitness tips, and living life!!

The New Rules of Confidence and Body Image in a Social Media World

Second-generation Mexican-American with a dream to pursue modeling in Los Angeles, Angelina Love has faced her fair share of “No’s” and turbulence—but nothing stopped her from chasing her happiness and becoming a Bare Model, celebrating her natural beauty along the way.

Being a second-generation Mexican-American wasn’t easy. Moving across the country to LA to pursue modeling full-time was bold, especially as the oldest sibling with family responsibilities. Growing up, she went to school with girls who looked nothing like her—stick skinny with straight hair—while she was curvier, with hips, boobs, and curly hair. Over time, metabolism, auditions, and rejections taught her resilience, confidence, and self-love.

“For a very long time, loving myself wasn’t easy. Being around the wrong people made it harder. Eventually, I learned I had to put myself first and be in love with myself before I could allow anyone else to. If I didn’t, I’d believe the negative things said by others. Thankfully, I’ve made it this far—and I plan to go even further.”

Now, as a signed model in LA, she’s confident in her skin, ready to release music, and fully embracing her individuality. As she says:

“Someone, somewhere has an opinion of me, but I've learned to love my body no matter the shape or size.”

She reminds us:

“Remember there is only ONE you, that's what gives you your character.”

We fired some questions at Angelina over email—here’s the unfiltered scoop… and she kept it 100!

From Self-Criticism to Self-Love

How have you struggled to love your body?

“I've struggled loving my body my whole life. My body somehow seems to go against whatever the current beauty standard is. When the ideal body was stick skinny, my body was curvier, and vice versa. What helped me is not letting beauty standards and media affect the love I give my own body. We are all beautiful in our own ways, and as a woman, I can now say that our so-called flaws really do make us stand out from the crowd.”

How have you struggled loving your slender body?

“It’s been an interesting battle because many view my body as ideal, even perfect, and to some, I’ll never be perfect or ideal. The key was when I stopped listening to outside opinions about my body—that’s when I found peace with myself. Beauty standards are always changing, so why pay any attention to them?”

Do people think you don’t have self-love issues because of your physique?

“To believe only certain people face moments of insecurity is baffling to me. Just like anyone else, I have my own insecurities. I’m constantly told I’m too big, too short, too tall, or too skinny. Someone, somewhere has an opinion of me—but I’ve learned to love my body no matter the shape or size. I gained control of my own power, and nobody can take that away from me.”

What She Loves Most About Her Body

What do you love most now?

“The definition I see in my muscles, because that wasn’t always a thing for me. I used to call my body type skinny fat, because I never had definition—and now I love it!”

First-Time Modeling Experience

How was it shooting for the first time?

“This was my first time ever showing skin. At first I was super nervous, because I had never done anything like this before in my modeling career. Facing completely new territory, I surprisingly became much more confident and comfortable posing with my body, instead of shaping my poses around materials. I almost immediately felt very empowered, knowing my story and photos will be shared with women around the world facing similar struggles.”

How was it shooting with no makeup and topless?

“I personally love the rawness of taking pictures without makeup. Seeing imperfections is powerful, in others and yourself. It was a bit challenging at first because we are our own biggest critics—but after appreciating my imperfections, like my dark circles, I gained all the confidence I needed.

As for shooting topless, I found a whole new love for my breasts! They’ve always been on the smaller side, and I used to hate that—but now I just LOVE their shape…cute little things.”

Her Message to Women Struggling With Self-Love

“Dear ladies, how can the world love and appreciate your body if you don't allow them to? If you don’t give yourself the love first, it won’t matter who calls you beautiful—you won’t believe them. Remember there is only ONE you, that’s what gives you your character, something no one can EVER take from you. Love your body in and out, embrace the process, and spread love—nothing is worth closing your heart over, especially someone’s negative comment.”

Why Are Women Starting to Reject Unrealistic Beauty Standards

Let’s ask our Bare Model Kendall Peabody, who explains that loving yourself is a carefree act. Through her openness, she shows that beauty lies in embracing every part of who you are.

"Don't compare yourself to others and learn to appreciate and love the skin you're in."

In this interview, Kendall shares her journey with body acceptance, the challenges she’s overcome, and the message she wants other women to hear.

Q&A with Bare Model Kendall Peabody

How have you struggled in the past to appreciate or love your body, and how have you overcome that struggle?

"I've struggled with having thick thighs, cellulite on my legs, and rolls on my stomach. I've overcome that struggle by learning to love the beautiful, curvy body I have."

What do you love most about your body?

"I love my natural curves."

Have you struggled with loving your cellulite?

"I've struggled in the past with my cellulite. But I realized that cellulite is beautiful, normal, and natural—and all curvy women have cellulite."

What message do you have for other women who struggle to appreciate and love their bodies?

"Don't compare yourself to others and learn to appreciate and love the skin you're in."

Kendall Peabody: A Bare Model Inspiring Self-Love

As a Bare Model, Kendall’s journey reflects the heart of our mission—celebrating the natural evolution of the body without filters or judgment. Her story is a powerful reminder that your natural beauty is beautiful—so, make sure to celebrate it!

To see more from Kendall, follow her on Instagram: @k_lockss.

Curves, Confidence, and Cellulite: The Bare Model Movement in Focus

I had the pleasure of photographing Britney Lee (@babybrit) again—because our last shoot was so stunning, I had to capture more of her natural beauty! As a Bare Model at OBARE, we love how Britney inspires women to embrace their bodies just as they are.

Q&A With Britney Lee: Celebrating Curves and Tummy Rolls

Q: How did you feel about your tummy during the shoot?
"When Karlo Gomez first asked me to sit naturally, without angling or flattening my stomach, I felt so uncomfortable. To some, my tummy rolls might seem insignificant, but to me, they are not. We all have insecurities, and it’s important not to invalidate others' insecurities just because they differ from your own."

Q: How has your perspective on tummy rolls changed?‍"I'm beginning to truly understand that it’s perfectly normal to have tummy rolls, whether they’re small or large. We all need to embrace and love them! Tummy rolls are a natural part of the human body, and they deserve to be celebrated rather than hidden away."

Q: What advice do you have for women struggling with body acceptance?‍"Embrace your stomach, your natural curves, and yes, your big butt too—it’s a beautiful part of who you are. Cellulite and curves are not flaws but unique features that make you, you. Remember, you’re not a doll or a flawless image from traditional magazines; you’re a real person with unique and beautiful attributes. Embracing these aspects of yourself is a powerful step towards self-acceptance and confidence."

Why We Love Britney Lee

As a Bare Model, we love that Britney holds true to the same values we uphold at OBARE—the mission of celebrating women without filters, makeup, or fluff. Her courage to embrace her tummy rolls, curves, and especially cellulite is an inspiration to anyone learning to love their natural body.

Follow Britney on Instagram @babybrit to see more of her empowering journey and beautiful journey.

From Movement to Confidence: How Bare Models Are Redefining Body Empowerment

Apolonia Calleja, aka “Apples,” knows fitness is more than a routine—it’s an art. With her fierce dedication and radiant smile, she sculpts her body like Michelangelo, swapping chisels for squats. For Apples, it’s not just about looking good (though she nails it in a dress); it’s about feeling powerful and unapologetically herself.

From her home in San Diego to the bright lights of LA, Apolonia’s recent Bare Model photoshoot captured all the energy and grace that make her unstoppable. Whether she’s running up an intense flight of stairs or embracing the California sunshine, Apolonia’s confidence shines through every shot. As a Bare Model, she embodies the true spirit of OBARE—celebrating strength, curves, and the natural beauty of the female body.

Q&A With Apolonia Calleja

How has fitness shaped your confidence?

"Fitness has been a tool to help me feel powerful and in control of my body. It’s not about perfection—it’s about embracing my strength and celebrating what my body can do."

How do you stay motivated to push yourself?

"I remind myself why I started and how much stronger I feel now. Seeing progress and celebrating small wins keeps me going every day."

What advice do you have for women learning to love their curves?

"Stop comparing yourself to others! Each body is unique, and learning to celebrate yours—flaws, curves, cellulite, and all—is where the real confidence comes from. Being a Bare Model helped me see that beauty doesn’t need filters or edits."

How do you approach a photoshoot that highlights your natural body?

"I focus on being myself, moving naturally, and enjoying the moment. Posing without overthinking, appreciating my curves, and embracing my imperfections makes the shots authentic and empowering."

Why Is Apolonia Calleja So Special?

Apolonia proves that fitness and self-love can cultivate body confidence. As a Bare Model, she’s owning her own beauty standard, inspiring women everywhere to embrace their curves, power, and beauty.

Follow Apolonia on Instagram @apoloniacalleja to see more of her journey, fitness tips, and fearless self-expression.

Uncover how celebrating your real self can shift your mindset and make you unstoppable.

When we first connected with Alyssa Ross (@itsgibsonross) back in July 2020 for a FaceTime photoshoot, it was a time when the world was learning to adapt to new forms of creativity. Even through a virtual lens, Alyssa’s radiant natural beauty shone brightly, leaving us eager for another opportunity to capture her in her element.

Fast forward to today—she’s now in Los Angeles, where we recently photographed her in person, celebrating her natural curves, and undeniable confidence.

As a Bare Model, Alyssa embodies the spirit of OBARE—embracing her soft curves, naturally gifted derrière, and yes, the cellulite she proudly celebrates, OH, and let us not forget her beautiful freckles.

“It’s just part of who I am,”

Alyssa says with a smile, noting how she’s learned to love every inch of her body, imperfections and all.

Embracing Your Natural Features

Q: How do you feel about your curves and cellulite?
A: “I’ve learned to love every inch of my body. Curves, cellulite, and all—it’s part of what makes me unique. Being a Bare Model really helped me embrace my natural shape and feel confident in front of the camera.”

Q: Freckles are a signature part of your look. How do you feel about them?A: “My freckles are part of what makes me unique. They remind me that beauty isn’t about perfection—it’s about embracing what makes you different.”

Q: How has being photographed changed your perspective on self-love?A: “Being photographed without filters or heavy makeup helped me realize that confidence comes from self-acceptance. It’s about loving the skin you’re in, not changing yourself to fit someone else’s idea of beauty.”

“My freckles are part of what makes me unique,” she says. “They’re a reminder that beauty isn’t about perfection—it’s about embracing what makes you different.” It’s this same mindset that fuels her unapologetic approach to her curves, her cellulite, and the features that make her feel like the best version of herself.

Q: What advice would you give women learning to love their bodies?A: “Don’t try to hide what makes you unique. Celebrate it. Whether it’s cellulite, freckles, or curves, loving yourself as you are is the first step to true confidence.”

Alyssa’s Message to Women

Alyssa’s radical approach to her body is a reminder that self-love is powerful. In a city and industry that regularly celebrates artificial beauty, she proves that embracing your natural curves, freckles, and other unique features is both liberating and inspiring. To everyone reading this, you should definitely try embracing your naturalness.

SO, why are we so fond of Alyssa Ross?

Alyssa Ross, as a Bare Model, is showing that natural beauty is simple and evergreen. From her soft curves to her freckles, she inspires women to embrace themselves fully—without cosmetic interventions.

Follow Alyssa on Instagram @itsgibsonross to see more of her journey.

Why Stretch Marks Are Fashion’s Boldest Statement Yet

Perfection?—It’s Time to Love Every Line

Forget perfection—this season, it’s all about flaunting your stretch marks and embracing body positivity. Our latest photo series featuring Bianca places her stretch marks, often called tiger stripes, at the heart of every frame. Each image celebrates her natural beauty and confidence, transforming what society labels as imperfections into bold fashion statement

“My stretch marks aren’t flaws—they’re proof of my journey.”

“Every line is a reminder of resilience—and that’s beautiful.”

The Rise of Real Beauty

In celebrating her stretch marks, Bianca inspires us to see our bodies in a new light. Her bold, authentic approach shows that natural beauty lies in self-love and the freedom to embrace every part of ourselves.

So here’s to celebrating your stripes—because the ultimate style statement is not about hiding imperfections, but about wearing them proudly!

Flaunt Your Stripes: Stretch Marks Take Center Stage

Perfection? Not Today

Stretch marks—also called tiger stripes—command attention. They’re bold, and framed as gorgeous marks of confidence. These images show curves in their most natural, powerful form, turning what society calls imperfections into statements.

“These marks are part of me, and I’m done hiding them.”

Lines That Speak

Every shot highlights stretch marks in striking poses and sharp lighting, celebrating curves and natural beauty without filters or exaggeration. The images make clear: these lines aren’t flaws—they’re undeniable features that shape identity and presence.

Confidence in Action

Showing stretch marks with pride isn’t about trends; it’s about claiming space in a world that often erases real bodies. Confidence radiates from every angle, making the ordinary extraordinary and the natural compelling.

“Standing like this, I don’t need approval to feel complete.”

Bold, Unapologetic, Real

This work proves that true style isn’t about perfection—it’s about owning what you have. Stretch marks, curves, and lines become their own language of strength, and sophistication.

Why this OBARE model proves your natural body is already powerful and worthy

From Former Model to Authentic Self: Meet Ryley Gordon

Ryley Gordon is a former model who now disrupts beauty standards with her authentic self on social media. Despite criticism and insecurities early in her career, she realized her worth goes far beyond appearance. Ryley focuses on her well-being, not the number on the scale or “flaws” in the mirror. Her message is simple yet powerful:

“Don't be so hard on yourself—you are doing great.”

Q&A With Ryley Gordon

Background and Passions

Please share a brief background about yourself.
I grew up in Southern California and fell in love with surfing, plant-based living, and art. I am a huge animal lover and feel empowered when I’m out in nature. I’ve been painting my whole life, and my love for the human body stems from my artistry.

Modeling Journey and Industry Insights

What led you to modeling, and what pain points did you see in the industry?
I dreamed of modeling since I was little, inspired by Victoria’s Secret models. As I grew older, I learned the industry is filled with eating disorders, competitiveness, and unrealistic beauty standards. Hustle culture often harms women mentally and physically.

What do you think about while modeling in front of the camera?When modeling, I feel connected to my mind and body. It’s a way to share a side of myself I don’t normally show. It brings out my fierce goddess energy and expresses me as a work of art.

How do comments on set affect women?I’ve been criticized for being short, needing to lose weight, or being “too commercial.” This challenged my self-identity and made me self-conscious.

Body Acceptance and Self-Love

Why do women struggle with self-love and acceptance?
Media conditions women to feel “not enough,” promoting diet programs, plastic surgery, anti-aging formulas, and more. Social media editing tools create a false reality of beauty, making women compare themselves unfairly.

Have you struggled with your appearance? How did you overcome it?I used to plan my week around clean eating and workouts, obsessed with looking a certain way. Stepping away from modeling, I learned intuitive eating, stopped checking scales, and worked out to feel good, not look good.

What do you love most about yourself and your body?
I focus on what my body does for me: surfing, hiking, yoga, traveling, dancing. I practice daily affirmations like:

“I am beautiful,” “My body is meant to change,” and “My confidence shines through stronger than my dress size.”

Advice for Other Women

What message do you have for women struggling with self-love?
No matter your insecurities, you are enough. Appreciate what makes you unique and embrace the small things that define you today.

How can women uplift each other?
Vulnerability and honesty are powerful tools. Accepting ourselves encourages others to do the same, creating a happier and healthier community.

Anything else you’d like readers to know?Most of what you see online is curated. Even fitness influencers show only their best angles. Remember: we all change, evolve, and experience highs and lows. Don’t be too hard on yourself—you’re doing great.

The Secret to Confidence Every Woman Overlooks

Artistic photographer and model Dominique Muscianese is like any other woman—she loves spending time with her dog, exploring new experiences, and enjoying good food. Found on her Instagram photography page @DOMONIZIAPhoto, Dominique has years of experience in the modeling industry and a passion for capturing people in their most beautiful forms.

Before embracing modeling, Dominique struggled with her self-image. She recalls,

“Before I had my glow-up stage at 18, I never felt pretty enough to be a model because I would constantly look up to supermodels and compare myself to their similar pretty features.”

It wasn’t until she moved to Los Angeles and took a leap of faith into the profession that she began embracing her uniqueness. Over time, she gained confidence to participate in artistic nude photoshoots and became a proud Bare Model, inspiring others to celebrate their bodies.

Her advice for women struggling with self-love is simple:

“There is no secret way to fall in love with yourself, it’s just a matter of putting yourself first and telling yourself you’re beautiful during both high and low times.”

Her self-love tip? Give yourself a compliment every day, and surround yourself with positive energy. As Dominique says,

“A woman’s body is the closest thing there is to magic.”

Q&A with Dominique Muscianese

Tell us about yourself

Dominique: My name is Dominique, and I am a model and artistic photographer. I love painting, eating, and spending time with my dog. I’m a big homebody but love adventuring and trying new things. I’m goofy and chill, but I take my passions seriously. Being in the modeling industry for all these years, I’ve developed a love for posing and capturing people in their most beautiful form. I also help others grow through posing instruction.

How have you struggled in the past to appreciate or love your body, and how did you overcome that struggle?

Dominique: Growing up, I was always told to model, but I always felt different. Before my glow-up at 18, I never felt pretty enough because I compared myself to supermodels. Moving to LA forced me out of my comfort zone and helped me embrace the things that make me different. Participating in beautiful, artistic nude shoots as a Bare Model allowed me to see myself in a new light and finally overcome those struggles.

What do you love most about your body?

Dominique: I love my curves, my skin color, and my eyes and lips.

What makes you feel confident with your body and who you are?

Dominique: I enjoy taking photos of myself, learning my body, and discovering poses that work well. Many women feel bad about their bodies because they see unflattering photos or feel awkward in front of the camera. Learning your shape, curves, and angles is key to appreciating yourself.

Do you have any self-care or self-love tips?

Dominique: Give yourself a compliment every day, even if you’re not feeling it. Taking a shower and getting ready for the day boosts self-esteem. Surround yourself with people who hype you up.

What do you think makes you beautiful?

Dominique: I love my smile. I do a lot of strong, fierce shoots, so rarely do I get to see it. When I smile during a shoot, it shows a side of my personality most people don’t see. Beauty isn’t just looks—it’s your personality. My happy and upbeat nature is something people notice.

What message do you have for other women who struggle to appreciate and love their bodies?

Dominique: There is no secret to falling in love with yourself. It’s about putting yourself first and telling yourself you’re beautiful during both high and low times.

Anything else you’d like readers to know?

Dominique: Inspired by posing and how it helped me love myself, I created MODXDOM, a service where I teach people how to pose and appreciate their bodies. It’s a community full of positivity and empowerment for women. Check it out!

Follow her on Instagram: @dominique_muscianese and check out her new book release.

‍

See how Bare Model Bailey

overcame body shaming and gained confidence in her daily life

Today we have the pleasure of speaking with Bailey, a Bare Model, mother, athlete, and advocate for self-love. Her journey of body acceptance and empowerment is both inspiring and relatable. Follow her on Instagram @TheQweenBayOfficial and explore her gallery of wall art at Obare Gallery.

How have you struggled in the past to appreciate or love your body, and how have you overcome that struggle?

Bailey: As long as I can remember, I’ve struggled with my body image. I constantly needed validation that I was beautiful and worthy. From being a mixed-race woman to being an athlete, a mother, and a model, I have faced challenges with my body. I’ve been bullied, shamed for my skin tone, athletic build, my racial ambiguity, and even my maternal status.

I even experienced body shaming within my own family over the way I dressed and wore my hair. I had never fully felt accepted as I was.

What helped me the most was speaking life and truth into other women. Hearing myself lift others up changed me, and ultimately helped me reframe my inner dialogue and embrace my own body fully.

As a Bare Model, participating in artistic nude shoots has also taught me to appreciate and celebrate my body in its natural form.

What do you love most about your body?

Bailey: I love how strong my body is and the constant flow of energy I feel moving through it. I love how grounded and at home I feel in my own skin, and how my body has served me through thick and thin. Physically, I love my spots and the way my skin is an ever-changing work of art that I get to explore every few months.

What does self-love mean to you?

Bailey: To me, self-love means embracing every part of myself while honoring the things I love about my body. More importantly, it’s about not allowing others to make me feel guilty for the things I don’t like as much about myself.

Self-love means unfollowing trends that don’t serve me and doing what I feel compelled to do—what makes me feel the best.

Being a Bare Model has also reinforced self-love by showing me how beautiful the human body is in its natural form.

What message do you have for other women who struggle to appreciate and love their bodies?

Bailey: It’s ok to struggle—it’s perfectly normal, and you are not alone. Struggling is part of the process; it’s your body and mind telling you that you are ready for change.

I can’t tell you exactly what to do—that’s for you to discover—but I can promise that when you intentionally seek ways to love yourself, those small steps add up to big shifts. I am living proof that if you fight through your difficulty, you WILL reach the other side.

QUEEN, it’s amazing here. I wish nothing but to meet you in this place of liberation—from others’ opinions and even your own harsh judgment.

Tips for the journey:

• Find what works for you
• Take one intentional step at a time
• Be patient and give yourself grace
• Expect challenges
• Listen to your body
• Don’t fear lessons from failure

To follow Bailey's journey find her on IG: @TheQweenBayOfficial

What Happens When You Finally Confront the Childhood That Still Controls You

Dear Me: Healing from Childhood Trauma and PTSD

We’ve been through so many life hurdles together. At such a young age, our innocence was taken away. We grew up in a household filled with violence, a cycle rooted in intergenerational trauma.

The feeling of never being good enough for our Tiger Mom, always trying to be people-pleasers, and battling with not feeling enough took a heavy emotional and mental toll. This lack of familial love pushed us to seek refuge in romantic relationships — but those often failed.

Falling for the wrong people, dating to fill an emptiness, and self-sabotaging even with kind partners were all signs that we weren’t ready for true companionship.

Struggling with PTSD, Anxiety, Bulimia, and Depression

As our inner demons slowly surfaced and lived beneath our skin, we pushed away friends and lovers who truly cared. We hated ourselves, silently screaming for help but feeling like a burden — unworthy of seeking assistance.

Esther, it’s been a wild ride. The emotional roller coaster, set on a broken track, was headed for a cliff at age 30. But miraculously, it came to a halt.

Letting Go and Starting the Healing Journey

You were there through the PTSD, anxiety, bulimia, and depression — and I applaud you for sticking by my side. But it’s time to let you go.

My younger self, whom I couldn’t save from unfortunate events or give a better life, I’m sorry. You put up walls to protect me, even if they hurt in the process. Thank you for holding on when I was ready to give up.

Taking Charge of My Life and Moving Forward

I’m ready to take charge now. I will focus on healing the present and future me in your memory. When you read this, I will have parted from the parts of my subconsciousness that held me back.

Know this: You are not alone. I’ve fixed the roller coaster track before leaving, so the journey ahead is filled with happy memories that will keep coming back.

And always remember, you are and have always been enough.

— Haira Esther Kang

You’re Not Alone Here’s Why Video Calls Make You So Anxious

Living with Video Call Anxiety During the Pandemic

It’s been a year into the COVID-19 pandemic, and while many people are experiencing “Zoom fatigue,” there are some people like me who get anxious while using video chat platforms. Seeing myself constantly in real-time makes me more critical of myself.

It’s similar to having negative emotional feelings when seeing myself in a mirror. Rather than listening to the speaker in the meeting, I’m criticizing my appearance and pointing out my flaws. Sometimes I end up comparing myself to all my beautiful co-workers.

“Am I photogenic enough?”
“Would moving the camera a certain angle help me look more attractive?”

How Video Meetings Trigger Self-Criticism

There’s also heightened self-consciousness with my behavior when there are multiple people to focus on in gallery view. When I speak, I’m unsure if people’s facial expressions and body language are in response to what I said, or if there’s an external factor giving off a negative vibe — such as kids screaming in the background or a pet distracting them.

When there’s silence after a question, it can get nerve-wracking not knowing if people cared about what I said or if my perspective was even clear.

Practical Ways to Reduce Zoom Anxiety

To help combat these issues, you can change the Zoom view to only show the person who is speaking. This way, you don’t see the row or column of people to compare yourself to.

You can also:

• Turn off your camera or minimize the Zoom screen
• Use audio-only mode to reduce visual pressure
• Let your supervisor know if you’re feeling anxiety or Zoom fatigue — communication is key
• Arrange meeting times that work best for your schedule, especially if you have kids at home
• Schedule breaks between meetings to stretch, eat a snack, or pet your dog or cat

Shifting Your Focus During Video Calls

Select positive memories to replay in your mind rather than focusing on the negative ones. You can also ask co-workers and supervisors for feedback on your comments or presentations after a video conference.

The more positive participation you have, the easier the experience will become.

Source: Stanford News — Four causes of Zoom fatigue solutions

What You Don’t See About Racism Until It Happens to You

Born American, Bullied for Being Asian: My Story of Racism and Resilience

Growing Up American but Seen as “Other”

Even though I was born in the U.S. and consider myself American, I was bullied in middle school for being Asian. I felt like a banana or a Twinkie—white and Americanized on the inside, but with yellow skin and Asian physical features on the outside.

Usually, bullying stops as kids mature, and I hadn’t experienced much racism since my teens. But I never imagined that in my late 20s, I would be afraid to go outside in the country I call home.

The Rise of Anti-Asian Hate Crimes During COVID-19

Like many other Asian American and Pacific Islanders (AAPI), I experienced xenophobia in the early months of the COVID-19 pandemic in March 2020. I was spat on and called names like “corona,” “Chinese virus,” and “Chinese f*cker” while walking my dog or going for a run.

The rise in anti-Asian hate crimes became undeniable. In early 2021, violence targeted vulnerable groups such as the elderly and women:

• Vicha Ratanapakdee, 84, was shoved to the ground and later died from his injuries.
• Noel Quintana was slashed across the face after asking someone to stop kicking his bag.
• Several Asian women were murdered in the Atlanta spa shooting.

According to reports, hate crimes against Asians increased 1,900% from 2019 to the first half of 2020.

Taking Action: How We Can Stand Against AAPI Racism

President Biden signed a Presidential Memorandum to combat racism against the AAPI community. But lasting change also requires micro-level actions:

• Volunteer to walk seniors in vulnerable neighborhoods.
• Stand guard to protect neighbors.
• Speak up as a bystander and report hate crimes.
• Check in with your AAPI friends.
• Raise awareness on social media.
• Advocate for inclusion in the workplace.
• Contact elected officials to address racial discrimination.

Standing in solidarity is not just about supporting the AAPI community—it’s about working toward ending racial injustice for all People of Color (POC).

Honoring Asian Contributions to America

While we face unprecedented times, I hope we also recognize the contributions of Asian Americans to the U.S., including:

• Labor & Industry: Chinese workers built the transcontinental railroad; Filipino farmers provided essential labor; Japanese immigrants worked in sugarcane fields.
• Cuisine & Culture: Taiwanese boba, Japanese sushi, Filipino adobo, Korean BBQ, Vietnamese banh mi.
• Entertainment: K-pop, K-dramas, anime, manga.
• Innovation & Products: Japanese cars, Korean technology, “Made in China” goods.
• Health & Wellness: Herbal medicine, acupuncture.

A Call for Humanity and Hope

I hope people humanize the struggles of POC who have battled racial discrimination while seeking a better life. Like the Year of the Ox, may we keep moving forward—bringing positive change, safety, and prosperity for all.

Sources

https://www.qchron.com/editions/queenswide/anti-asian-hate-crime-jumps-1-900-percent/article_f007a05b-f43e-54ca-a3c6-1b5493333dea.html

https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/presidential-actions/2021/01/26/memorandum-condemning-and-combating-racism-xenophobia-and-intolerance-against-asian-americans-and-pacific-islanders-in-the-united-states/

https://www.wbur.org/hereandnow/2021/02/26/anti-asian-violence-oakland

https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2021-03-02/an-asian-american-family-in-o-c-was-being-harassed-now-their-neighbors-stand-guard

The Hidden Power of Fear: Why It’s Not Your Enemy, But Your Teacher

Our First Taste of Fear: From Birth to Bold Decisions

We come into this world screaming and crying—bewildered by new surroundings and heightened senses. Our warm, quiet home becomes a distant memory. That moment is our very first taste of fear.

Fear floods our minds when we consider doing something bold, even as simple as ordering your usual at Starbucks. It widens your imagination, making irrational scenarios seem possible. These wild fears mix with rational thoughts, making it nearly impossible to tell them apart. Fear can be wicked and relentless.

How Fear Protects Us and Sometimes Holds Us Back

Fear stops us from standing too close to a platform edge or venturing into dark alleys late at night. It keeps us vigilant and shields us from danger. Yet, this hyper-vigilance sometimes breeds paranoia—looking over your shoulder only to see your own shadow. Fear blurs the line between reality and imagination.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, fear positively impacted society: people wore masks and stayed home to protect others. Fear of hurting others created empathy—an unexpected gift from an emotion we often try to avoid.

Fear as an Overprotective Guardian: The Cost of Avoiding Failure

Fear is like an overprotective mother—good intentions but poor execution. It keeps us sheltered, inexperienced, and terrified of failure. Fear convinces us that failure is awful and must be avoided. But failure is an essential speed bump on the road to success—full of invaluable lessons that build strength and resilience. These lessons remind us why we began our journey.

Peeling Back Fear’s Veil to See Clearly

Fear acts like a veil, fuzzing the image of what’s truly in front of us. Stepping away from fear means peeling back that veil to see clearly—no “what ifs” or outlandish scenarios—just the simple reality of the task at hand.

We need to reassure fear that it’s going to be okay. By understanding and acknowledging fear, we can still do the damn thing anyway. You don’t need to be fearless to succeed—you just need to be aware.

My Journey: How Fear Stopped Me for 26 Years—and How I’m Moving Forward

Fear held me back from pursuing a writing career for 26 years. It terrified me so much that I lied to myself about what I truly love and sought validation from others instead of myself. It took hardships to reach a place where failure no longer scares me and societal validation no longer controls me.

I rushed through the speed bumps, damaging my car trying to reach the finish line without reflecting on why I started. But those bumps made me who I am today, and I’m eternally thankful for their lessons.

This is me telling my fear: I’m going to be okay. And I’m ready for whatever comes next on this journey.

She Chose Herself — And Found Love for Her Body and Music

Romy Dya Opens Up About Her Self-Love Journey and Upcoming Song Release

At 33, Romy Dya is a mom of two, an artist, songwriter, producer, and entrepreneur from the Netherlands. Her journey toward self-love has been long and winding, filled with struggles, revelations, and ultimately, empowerment.

"I’ve always struggled with loving myself. People around me always told me I was fat and I used to be so ashamed of myself. I was never the skinniest girl and I always had wide hips and big thighs… after my two pregnancies I got stretch marks, more cellulite, and loose skin around my stomach."

Facing the Mirror and the Music Scene

Romy’s earliest memories of body insecurity were intertwined with constant judgment—from others and herself. In the music scene, where appearance and talent are constantly tested, she felt the pressure deeply.

"I couldn’t even look in the mirror because I really ‘hated’ the way my body looked, especially my stomach. I always thought people would look at me and say hurtful things… in the music scene, you constantly have to prove yourself."

Even at her skinniest, after losing a lot of weight a few years ago, happiness didn’t come. Attention and compliments couldn’t fill the void—Romy realized that true happiness had to start from within.

"I began to do some soul searching and realized that happiness starts from within. I had to face traumatic experiences from the past and process everything and forgive myself."

Choosing Herself and Following Her Heart

The turning point came in 2018, after ending a 12-year relationship. She chose herself over staying in a partnership that no longer served her, booking a last-minute flight to Los Angeles to pursue her music.

"Going to LA was the best choice I’ve ever made in my life, because that’s when I finally started to love myself cause I chose me."

Romy faced challenges and setbacks, including rock-bottom moments over the next two years. Yet, she learned to meditate, trust her intuition, and practice self-kindness. Slowly, she became her own best friend.

"Because since I looked in front of the mirror and started telling myself: ‘you’re strong, you’re beautiful and you got this’ my life started to change in a good way."

Embracing Body Positivity and Art

Romy has learned to truly honor and celebrate her body.

"I now see my stretch marks and cellulite as art, a testament to my journey rather than flaws to hide. Loving myself has nothing to do with changing my body—it’s about accepting and celebrating who I am, exactly as I am."

Her approach is rooted in self-love and authenticity, not approval or validation from anyone else. Romy’s message is clear: embracing your natural body is empowering, and self-confidence comes from within.

Finding Music and Self-Love

Alongside embracing her body, Romy’s music has been a lifeline. She first shared a song for OBARE, formerly known as SMV, back in 2020, and now she’s releasing her new single on August 29, 2025, celebrating her journey of self-love and empowerment.

Here's another sneak peek of her new song.

Romy’s story proves that choosing yourself—emotionally, physically, and creatively—can transform your life. She continues to inspire women to embrace themselves fully and follow their passions unapologetically.

"Here is a beautiful song Romy wrote for OBARE, formerly known as SMV, back in 2020.

Connect With Romy Dya

• Instagram: @romydya
• Twitter: @romydya
• Facebook: Romy Dya Music
• Spotify: Listen Here

You’re Not Lazy—

You’re Just Missing This One Habit That Changes Everything

When You Keep Breaking Promises to Yourself

Have you ever said you were going to do something—but didn’t follow through?
Maybe you brushed it off, pretended like it never happened… and then it happened again.
Before you know it, you’re making promises that aren’t true and failing to follow through on the commitments you made to yourself or others.

Then you tell someone your plan, and they just give you that look—
“Yeah, right. I’ve heard you say that a hundred times, and I still haven’t seen it happen.”
Suddenly, you wonder why they don’t trust you.
It doesn’t feel like you’ve done anything wrong, yet the doubt in their eyes stings.

Why It’s So Easy to Walk Away From Accountability

At that point, most of us think, Forget it… I’m not even going to try to fix this mess.
We walk away, leave the promise behind, and pretend it never existed.
But here’s the truth: messes don’t clean themselves up.

There’s something to be accountable for here.
When you don’t do what you said you would do, the impact is that no one believes you until they see you follow through.
The only way to rebuild that trust—internally and externally—is to become your word.

Whether it’s speaking up when something bothers you, losing weight, saving money, or embracing the skin you’re in—you can become your word.

How Not Keeping Your Word Hurts Your Self-Trust

When you don’t follow through, that little voice in your head whispers: Just forget it. Move on.
This is where so many of us get stuck.

We stop pursuing the things that matter—the ones that fill our self-love cup.
We lose the ability to know ourselves as our word, and that loss ripples into every area of life.

When you’re not your word:

• You avoid doing the small things you know would make you feel better.
• You stall on goals that could transform your life.
• You feel disconnected from your own power.

What It Means to “Become Your Word”

Imagine yourself as someone who:

• Does what they say they’ll do.
• Follows through on commitments—big and small.
• Meets expectations (even the ones no one else sees).

What would be available to you?
What would your world look like if you were always known for keeping your promises?

Now imagine taking it further—honoring your word even with your secret dreams.
Those “I wish I could but I can’t” thoughts? They stop holding you back when you become your word with them, too.

The Self-Love Connection

The secret to living a powerful life, loving the skin you’re in, and being proud of who you are starts here: Be your word in everything you do.

You don’t have to commit to things you don’t want to do.
But when you want something, you tend to put your word on it. That’s where it all begins.

When you honor your word, you:

• Strengthen your relationship with yourself.
• Build trust with others.
• Open doors to opportunities and relationships you didn’t think possible.

Staying on the Path Without Self-Judgment

Don’t make yourself wrong when you mess up—it will only pull you backward.
This is a discovery process.
Mistakes will happen, but over time, you’ll see that living as your word brings a deeper peace than the alternative.

It takes time.
It takes perseverance.
It takes patience.

But the payoff is priceless.

What about you?
In what area of life are you ready to become someone known for keeping their word?

I’d love to hear your journey—connect with me on Instagram @ambersabourin.

It’s not your body that’s the problem —

it’s the story you’ve been told about it. Here’s how to flip the script for good.

Why We Believe Our Bodies Aren’t Good Enough

I believe that society has long told us that our bodies aren’t “good enough.”
As women, we’ve been pushed to seek validation and acceptance, pressured to achieve an almost unattainable body type just to be considered “normal” in this world.

Over time, these misconceptions become our inner reality. We start to bully our own bodies — convincing ourselves we’re not worthy of love, happiness, or acceptance.

But let’s get one thing straight: we are all worthy.

The Cycle of Negative Self-Talk Ends Here

That stops now.
We do not have to live in negativity or measure our worth by impossible standards. Our bodies are already doing extraordinary things for us every single day — and they deserve our appreciation, not our criticism.

5 Daily Affirmations to Love and Honor Your Body

Here are five powerful affirmations every woman should say to herself:

1. I vow to love myself in my entirety.
2. I will appreciate everything my body does for me on the inside without needing to ask it.
3. I will acknowledge my negative thoughts, understand what they’re trying to tell me, and address them head-on—rather than suppressing them and opening bigger wounds.
4. I will be more accepting of my vulnerabilities, as this will only make me stronger.
5. I will continue to show up, speak up, and do better for myself.

A Journey Toward Self-Love

Loving yourself isn’t about perfection. It’s about showing up for yourself every day, even in small ways. These affirmations aren’t just words — they’re commitments.

Say them out loud. Write them down. Let them become the truth you live by.

Please join me on this beautiful journey to loving yourself ❤

Here’s how to break the cycle:

Own your choices, and step into the person you’ve always imagined

How to Break Free from Your Past and Choose a New Way of Being

Born Pure, Shaped by Our Stories

We are born into the world as nothing—pure, innocent beings who have yet to become someone. Over time, we’re raised with the principles and values of our family, carrying the weight of many generations before us. Life experiences—both joyful and painful—shape us into the people we are today: the good, the bad, and the in-between.

How Family Shapes—and Sometimes Limits—Us

Many of us notice traits we’ve inherited from our families. Some of us conform to those ways, while others rebel and create an opposite path. Some use family history as motivation to break cycles and forge new ways of being, while others feel compelled to repeat the past.

The truth? We have the power to decide what continues and what ends. Our present and future do not have to mirror the past.

Breaking the Cycle Starts with Awareness

If we want change, we must first see how the past has served us—both positively and negatively. Without this awareness, the cycle continues.

For me, one defining trait is stubbornness. Growing up, I often got my way, and now I do whatever it takes to achieve what I want. This determination can make me a force of nature—but it can also lead people to agree with me for the wrong reasons. When that happens, I ask myself: Do I want to carry this forward, or is there an opportunity to choose differently?

Choosing a New Way of Being

Growth means identifying which traits serve us—and which ones don’t. It means giving ourselves permission to change, even when others resist. Friends and family may take longer to accept our transformation, and that’s okay.

When challenges arise, remember why you chose this new way of being. Think about what you’re creating for yourself and the people you love.

Your Past Does Not Define You

The way you’ve become doesn’t have to be the way you remain. You can choose to be someone new—today, tomorrow, and always. Go forward boldly, free from the limitations of your past.

Love Always,
Amberly - @ambersabourin

Need Inspiration?

These Classic Movies Will Keep You Glued to Your TV

You’re scrolling through your feed, drained and uninspired — but what if one film could flip the script tonight? These handpicked movies don’t just entertain; they spark a fire inside you. Get ready to binge the stories that’ll make you rethink, feel deeply, and maybe even change your life. Grab your popcorn — this is your reboot.

1) Dor

Storyline

One reviewer explains the storyline: "Shankar Singh and his wife, Meera, live in Jodhpur, Rajasthan, India, along with their widowed paternal grandmother, Laxmibai, his mother, Gowri, and father, Randhir. The family feels blessed after Meera's entry into their lives. Shankar must travel abroad to Saudi Arabia, bidding farewell to Meera with a promise to stay in touch. He keeps this promise, sending a large portion of his earnings to help pay off the family's debts. However, when they receive no word from him, a worried Meera calls and is devastated to learn that Shankar has been killed by being thrown from a 10th-floor balcony. Her status quickly changes: her jewelry, ornaments, and fancy clothes are taken away, and she is told to remain indoors, wear dark clothes, and only pray at a Mandir. Things start to brighten for Meera when she befriends an Islamic woman, Zeenat, who has come from Himachal Pradesh to search for her husband, Amir Khan. Shortly thereafter, Meera's world is turned upside down when..."

Written by rAjOo (gunwanti@hotmail.com)
(Source: IMDb)

‍

‍2) The Waitress

Storyline

A film by: Adrienne Shelly

Jenna (Russell), a small-town waitress with big dreams, possesses an uncanny gift for baking out-of-this-world pies. Her secret ambition is to win a $25,000 contest so she can leave her obnoxious husband, open her own pie shop, and transform her life. A chance meeting with a handsome newcomer to town might just provide the right ingredients for Jenna to find true happiness.

(Source: The Waitress)

‍

Watch Trailer Below

‍3) Bridges of Madison County

Storyline

World-traveling National Geographic photographer Robert Kincaid and Iowa housewife Francesca Johnson aren’t looking to turn their lives upside down. Each is at a point in life where expectations are behind them. Yet, four days after they meet, neither wants to let go of the love they’ve found.

(Source: Bridges of Madison County)

‍

Watch Trailer Below

4) The Color Purple

Storyline

One reviewer says, "This film follows the life of Celie, a young black girl growing up in the early 1900's. The first time we see Celie, she is 14 - and pregnant - by her father. We stay with her for the next 30 years of her tough life." - Written by Colin Tinto <cst@imdb.com>

(source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088939/ )

Watch Trailer Below

‍5) Terms of Endearment

Storyline

One reviewer says, "Aurora and Emma are mother and daughter who march to different drummers. Beginning with Emma's marriage, Aurora shows how difficult and loving she can be. The movie covers several years of their lives as each finds different reasons to go on living and find joy. Aurora's interludes with Garrett Breedlove, a retired astronaut and next-door neighbor, are quite striking. In the end, different people show their love in very different ways."— Written by John Vogel jlvogel@comcast.net(Source: IMDB)

Watch Trailer Below

‍6) Erin Brokovich

Storyline

One reviewer says, "Erin Brockovich-Ellis is an unemployed single mother, desperate to find a job but having no luck. Her losing streak extends to a failed lawsuit against a doctor from a car accident she was in. With no alternative, she successfully browbeats her lawyer into giving her a job as compensation for the loss. Despite her trashy clothes and earthy manners causing others to dismiss her, that soon changes when she begins investigating a suspicious real estate case involving the Pacific Gas & Electric Company. She discovers that the company is quietly buying land contaminated by hexavalent chromium, a deadly toxic waste they are improperly dumping and poisoning the local residents. As Erin digs deeper, she becomes the leading force in one of the biggest class action lawsuits in American history against a multi-billion-dollar corporation."— Written by Kenneth Chisholm kchishol@execulink.com(Source: IMDB)

Watch Trailer Below

8) Amelie

Storyline

One reviewer says, "Amélie is a story about a girl named Amélie whose childhood was overshadowed by her father's mistaken concerns about a heart defect. These concerns led to Amélie having minimal real-life contact with others, causing her to retreat into a fantastical world of her own dreams of love and beauty. As a young woman, she moves to central Paris and works as a waitress. After finding a lost treasure belonging to a former occupant of her apartment, she decides to return it to him. Witnessing his reaction and newfound perspective inspires her to dedicate her life to the people around her, including her father, who is obsessed with his garden gnome; a failed writer; a hypochondriac; a man who stalks his ex-girlfriends; a 'ghost'; a suppressed young soul; the love of her life; and a man with brittle bones. However, as she becomes consumed by these escapades, she realizes that she is neglecting her own life and jeopardizing her quest for love."— Written by spragg_s(Source: IMDB)

Watch Trailer Below

‍9) Cries and Whispers

Storyline

One reviewer says, "In turn-of-the-century Sweden, cancer-stricken, dying Agnes is visited in her isolated rural mansion by her sisters Karin and Maria. As Agnes' condition deteriorates and pain management becomes increasingly more difficult, fear and revulsion grip the sisters, who seem incapable of empathy, and Agnes' only comfort and solace comes from her maid Anna. As the end draws closer, long repressed feelings of grudging resentment and mistrust cause jealousy, selfishness, and bitterness between the siblings to surface." Written by duke1029

(Source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0069467/ )

Watch Trailer Below

‍10) Juno

Storyline

One reviewer says, "A tale told over four seasons, starting in autumn when Juno, a 16-year-old high-school junior in Minnesota, discovers she's pregnant after one event in a chair with her best friend, Bleeker. In the waiting room of an abortion clinic, the quirky and whip-sharp Juno decides to give birth and to place the child with an adoptive couple. She finds one in the PennySaver personals, contacts them, tells her dad and step-mother, and carries on with school. The chosen parents, upscale yuppies (one of whom is cool and laid back, the other meticulous and uptight), meet Juno, sign papers, and the year unfolds. Will Juno's plan work, can she improvise, and what about Bleeker?" Written by <jhailey@hotmail.com>

(Source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0467406/?ref_=tt_sims_tti )

Watch Trailer Below

‍13) Eat, Pray, Love

Storyline

Sony Pictures says, "Liz Gilbert (Roberts) had everything a modern woman is supposed to dream of having - a husband, a house, a successful career - yet like so many others, she found herself lost, confused, and searching for what she really wanted in life. Newly divorced and at a crossroads, Gilbert steps out of her comfort zone, risking everything to change her life, embarking on a journey around the world that becomes a quest for self-discovery. In her travels, she discovers the true pleasure of nourishment by eating in Italy; the power of prayer in India, and, finally and unexpectedly, the inner peace and balance of true love in Bali." Written by Sony Pictures

(Source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0879870/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1 )

Watch Trailer Below

You Can Walk Away From Anyone

Except the Person in the Mirror

The Hardest Relationship You’ll Ever Have Is With Yourself

"The hardest relationship one will ever have is with themselves, because you can never walk away from it."

You can’t walk away from yourself when you feel ashamed of your actions. You can’t escape when you’re drowning in guilt or regret.

This is where the Universal Law of Correspondence comes alive: your outer world is nothing more than a reflection of your inner world. As within, so without.

Arriving at this truth can feel both liberating and terrifying. Because once you see it, you can no longer blame others for what is born within.

Why We Keep Attracting the Wrong People

Without this truth, women often struggle to solve the painful pattern of attracting the wrong men—or people, period.

Years of failed relationships—ranging from fleeting situationships to deeply committed but emotionally wounding partnerships—leave beautiful, intelligent, well-intentioned women carrying invisible scars.

Each breakup leaves the heart a little more bruised, a little more defeated. Emotional pain isn’t as visible as physical pain, so we carry on, convincing ourselves we’ve “learned our lesson,” and step back into the ring of love hoping this time will be different.

The Illusion of Self-Protection

You may polish your independence, sharpen your intelligence, and wear excellence like armor.
You may pride yourself on spotting red flags from a mile away.
You may project confidence, charm, and wit to hide your insecurities.

Or you may take the opposite route—becoming jaded, resentful, and building walls so high that no one can touch you.

But here’s the truth: none of these defenses will work if they’re rooted in a lack of trust within yourself. Past emotional wounds, left unhealed, will always be triggered again.

My Breaking Point

I know this because I lived it.

Two weeks shy of my 30th birthday, I faced the heartbreak that finally broke me. No amount of pride or resilience could pull me off the floor. I cycled through anger, self-pity, resentment, and grief, searching desperately for a new formula.

What I found instead was a pattern:

• I had subconsciously attracted emotionally detached men for over a decade.
• Every unhealed wound I buried had manifested in my relationships.
• My fear of true vulnerability had mirrored back to me in their emotional distance.

And the more I had expected this last relationship to heal me, the deeper the devastation when it ended.

The Connection Between Self-Love and Heartbreak

When someone has gaping, unhealed emotional wounds, they often lean on the love of another to fill them. That was me.

So when the relationship ended, I didn’t just lose him. I lost me.

Self-love isn’t just about affirmations or bubble baths—it’s the North Star that guides you to either peace or chaos. If you cannot fall in love with yourself unconditionally, you cannot expect someone else to.

Why Self-Love Is So Hard

We live in a culture of instant gratification, scrolling through social media feeds that shout, “I’m rich and married!”Success is measured by money and relationships, and the pressure is relentless.

Healing and emotional fulfillment, on the other hand, require patience and deep inner work—two things our culture doesn’t celebrate.

True self-love means:

• Owning your shadow side as much as your best self.
• Cutting cords with what disrupts your peace.
• Letting go of pride to embrace sensitivity.
• Reconnecting with the joy and innocence of your childhood.
• Practicing emotional discipline over emotional distraction.
• Working with your demons instead of letting them control you.

Rising From the Ashes

Lack of failure doesn’t make you invincible. Getting back up does.

Self-love is the hardest love you’ll ever experience because you’re always evolving. You will make mistakes. You will regret things. Others will hurt you, and you’ll have to fight to forgive.

But there’s no star in the galaxy that shines brighter than the one within you.

You are worthy of your own light.
Allow it to shine.

As within, so without.

3 Simple Daily Habits

to Boost Self-Love and Confidence

‍Everyone struggles with self-love. It’s sad but inevitable—we all face moments where getting out of bed feels impossible, let alone reminding ourselves how amazing we are.

But here’s what often goes unnoticed: self-love doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. It can be built through small, intentional habits woven into your daily routine. These moments of self-care not only lift your mood and self-image, but also create healthy patterns you can pass on to those you love.

Below are three simple, powerful habits that can help you nurture self-love every single day.

1. Thank the Earth for Waking You to See Another Day

Waking up each morning is something most of us take for granted—but not everyone gets that gift. Practicing morning gratitude can be as simple as:

• Making your bed
• Doing light stretches
• Reading a chapter of your favorite book

Taking a moment to feel grateful for another sunrise reminds you to slow down and appreciate life—and yourself—before the day sweeps you away.

2. Dedicate Time to Your Passions

Life’s hustle often pulls us away from the things that make our hearts soar. You might have a job that looks great on paper, but leaves little room for your creativity or joy.

Even dedicating 30 minutes to something you love—whether it’s going for a jog, cooking a new recipe, or learning embroidery—can recharge your spirit. Passions bring color back into a dull routine and give you something to look forward to.

3. Take Time to Truly Wind Down

It’s tempting to collapse straight into bed after a long day, but a mindful nighttime routine can help you release the day’s stress and prepare for restful sleep.

Try:

• Listening to calming music while brushing your teeth
• Sipping chamomile tea as you unwind
• Lighting a candle or burning incense (safely)

When you give yourself space to relax, you wake up with a clearer mind and a lighter heart.

Self-love isn’t selfish—it’s balance.
These small acts may seem simple, but their impact builds over time. When you thank the day, honor your passions, and give yourself permission to rest, you create a life rooted in self-respect and joy.

What if you stopped fighting your body and started listening to it?

These 7 steps show you how

The Secret Struggle of Body Hatred

Hating your body can become a dirty secret—one you carry silently.
Those thoughts about your body can pull you under like a whirlpool, robbing you of joy in the little and big moments of life.

I know this because I’ve been there.
I’ve also walked many of my clients out of this whirlpool of pain. Pain that distracts them from their children, passions, work, and play—focusing their attention on one thing alone: their bodies.

Why Body Hatred Isn’t Just “Your Fault”

Body hatred isn’t born in a vacuum. It’s culturally encouraged. We live in a world with so many forces conspiring against body acceptance.
But here’s what I know: when we change our relationship with our bodies, we reclaim our power. We become more creative, open, and joyful.

What follows is my roadmap. It’s unconventional. Some ideas may be brand new to you. But I promise—this works.

1. Squash the Dirty Secret

Secrets eat us alive from the inside.
Letting negative body thoughts swirl in your mind is poison.
Instead, speak or write them out with brutal honesty.

Example:

“I hate my stomach. Why is it so fat? Why do my arms look like this? I literally want to throw up when I look in the mirror.”

Get them out of your head. Talk to a therapist, a friend, a coach, or write them down. There’s freedom in releasing the thoughts you’ve kept locked up.

2. Become an Observer of Your Thoughts

Mindfulness means noticing your thoughts without becoming them.
Write them down. Look at the words on the page. Feel the distance between you and those thoughts.
You are not your thoughts—you are the one observing them.

3. Accept Before You Try to Love

When a negative thought appears, name it:

“I’m judging my body right now.”
“I do not like my body right now.”

This is acceptance—not resistance.
You don’t need to force “I love my body” if you don’t believe it. The truth, accepted without judgment, creates space for change.

4. Question the Fear Behind Acceptance

You might think:

“If I accept hating my body, won’t it make me hate it more?”

Close your eyes. Ask yourself:

“Can I know for certain that accepting my body hatred will make it worse?”

Acceptance isn’t giving up—it’s loosening the grip of the fight.

5. The Whirlpool Visualization

Visualize yourself fighting to escape a whirlpool.
Feel the exhaustion. Now imagine letting go—accepting the moment.
Notice what happens.
Often, acceptance is what carries you gently to shore.

6. Find the Deeper Gift

Ask:

“What is my relationship with my body here to teach me?”

Possible gifts:

• Learning to eat in a way that makes you feel good, not to please others.
• Practicing unconditional self-acceptance.
• Strengthening intuition and self-connection.
• Setting and honoring boundaries.
• Remembering you are worthy exactly as you are.
• Stepping into your full power.

7. Heal the Deeper Roots

For many, body hatred is tied to childhood wounds.
Inner child work and breathwork can reconnect you with the younger self who still feels fear or unworthiness—and remind her she is safe.

The Real Goal

Loving your body 100% of the time isn’t the point.
The goal is to change your relationship with the thoughts.
To respond with awareness, not as a victim.
That’s empowerment.

I’d love to hear your story.
Send me a message on Instagram @soulintheraw.

With love,

Marina|Transformational Coach

How Writing Helped Me

Cope While Caring for Aging Parents with Cancer and COPD

Writing has always been therapeutic for me. When life wreaks havoc, I turn to writing to process my emotions and find calm. Three weeks ago, my mom’s oncologist told us the cancer had returned, and she needs more aggressive chemotherapy. Meanwhile, my dad battles COPD, on oxygen 18 hours a day and a nebulizer 6 hours daily. He takes many medications and, stubborn as a goat, resists sometimes.

Embracing the Role of Caregiver — But How Do I Care for Myself?

I’m learning to embrace my role as my parents’ caregiver, but the harder task is taking care of me while taking care of them. Many caregivers for aging parents experience grief — often without realizing it. A parent who was once strong begins asking for help. It seems simple, right? But inside, there’s a knot in our hearts.

The Hidden Grief of Watching Parents Age

We grieve the loss — the loss of function that makes our parents need us. Weren’t they the ones who helped us? Weren’t they the ones in charge? These changes are subtle. I remember watching my parents age normally, occasionally startled by the reality that they were changing. But I never consciously faced the loss and pain. It lived quietly beneath my awareness.

The Exhaustion of Caregiving: Transporting, Medications, and Fighting Insurance

My sister and I walk this journey together — taking turns transporting our parents to doctor appointments, filling and managing meds, cooking and delivering meals, and fighting insurance providers. I find my own energy drained and depleted. My mom, diagnosed with CML leukemia in 2010, has fought hard — nearly dying from chemo side effects, then thriving in a clinical trial. But setbacks come again, not just for her, but for our whole family.

Writing a Will and Facing Inevitable Loss

Just recently, mom asked me to help write her will — something we’d spoken about years ago but never completed. She also asked me to choose items in her home she wanted me to receive after her passing. As she handed me the papers and pointed to things in her basement to load into my car, I felt a wave of unspoken emotions. I kept my strong facade because she needed me, but inside I was shaken by the inevitability of loss.

Understanding Anticipatory Grief vs. Early Grief in Caregiving

I learned the grief I’m feeling is called anticipatory grief — the pain we feel as we prepare for the death of a loved one. But there’s another kind I call early grief — more subtle, creeping, and dangerous if ignored. It builds with small losses: their loss of function and independence, and our loss of their independence. It’s also the loss of our own time — for ourselves, jobs, and children.

Why Early Grief Can Destroy Caregivers’ Health

This quiet grief can damage mental and physical health, sometimes leading to depression. If left unrecognized, it can slowly kill parts of us as we witness loss after loss before death even occurs. Research shows that 30% (or more) of caregivers die before their loved ones. Early grief is a major factor in this tragic statistic.

How Caregivers Can Survive This Season of Life

We need to be friends to ourselves and seek help — professional support or caregiver groups — before we become a number in the statistics. The well of grief is deep, and we must watch so we don’t drown in sorrow before even acknowledging it. Caregivers suffer too, and their grief deserves recognition and compassion.

To all caregivers navigating this difficult season, I send love, light, peace, and prayers. Take care of yourself as fiercely as you care for your loved ones. Stay safe and stay well.

You tell yourself, “Just one little tweak.”

But what happens when the tweaks never stop? “Supervenus” takes you on a disturbing, comical ride you won’t forget.

Plastic Surgery in Today’s Beauty-Obsessed World

In an era where plastic surgery is more popular, affordable, and accessible than ever, artist Frédéric Doazan offers a sobering—and satirical—look at its controversial consequences. His short animation, Supervenus, uses the power of Photoshop to take viewers on a journey that’s both comical and unsettling, revealing the dark side of cosmetic enhancements and the absurdity of chasing an idealized appearance.

This isn’t just entertainment—it’s a stark reminder of the risks of plastic surgery and the way society fuels impossible beauty standards.

The Legacy of Plastic Surgery Disasters

For decades, we’ve been fascinated—and horrified—by plastic surgery gone wrong. From viral news headlines to reality TV shows, botched procedures and extreme makeovers have been part of the cultural conversation.

Doazan’s Supervenus draws inspiration from this unsettling history. With his satirical lens, he critiques our relentless pursuit of physical perfection, showing how cosmetic procedures can spiral into nightmarish transformations.

A Disturbing Transformation—Frame by Frame

Through animation, Supervenus depicts the gradual alteration of a woman’s face and body—each change exaggerated to grotesque extremes.

What begins as subtle touch-ups quickly escalates into absurd, and at times shocking, distortions. The more she is “perfected,” the more unsettling the result becomes, echoing the dangers of excessive cosmetic enhancement.

Comedy Meets Critique

Despite the heavy subject matter, Supervenus blends satire with surreal humor. The bizarre, exaggerated changes make us laugh—yet they also make us uneasy.

Doazan uses this tension to spark reflection: What drives us to alter our appearance so drastically? How far is too far?

Beyond the Laughs: A Cultural Wake-Up Call

Beneath its comedic surface, Supervenus is a commentary on the societal pressures that fuel cosmetic obsession. It invites viewers to question:

• Are we complicit in promoting unrealistic beauty ideals?
• Have we normalized procedures that carry life-changing risks?
• At what cost do we chase perfection?

The Message Behind Supervenus

Doazan’s work challenges us to embrace authenticity and self-acceptance in a world obsessed with filters, fillers, and flawless images.

By the time the animation ends, we’re left with an uncomfortable truth: in our pursuit of beauty, we may be distorting the very thing that makes us human.

Final Thoughts

Supervenus isn’t just a short film—it’s a mirror. One that reflects both our fascination with beauty and the extreme measures we’ll take to achieve it.

With its satirical edge and jarring visuals, this animation stands as a powerful reminder: beauty ideals may be ever-changing, but the cost of chasing them can be permanent.

Discover Frédéric Doazan’s Supervenus, a darkly comical animation exposing the risks of plastic surgery. Watch the full time-lapse Photoshop process behind this satirical masterpiece.

Loving My Body as a Radical Act:

A Reflection on Belonging

In a world where women are constantly told to shrink themselves, loving my body has become one of the most radical acts I can commit.

“She wore ill-fitting clothes to hide her substantial womanliness. Bummi never understood why English women did not show off the outline of their fulsomeness — the more fulsome, the better, so long as it was done with decorum. In her culture, a substantial woman was a desirable one.”
— Bernadine Evaristo, Girl, Woman, Other

Like Bummi, I now believe that the fuller and more shapely a woman is, the better. Unlike her, though, I understand why women in some societies don’t celebrate their shapeliness. Bummi’s Nigerian culture likened fuller breasts, soft stomach, and generous hips to signs of health and beauty — a woman ready to bear fruit.

I share Bummi’s heritage, but I was raised in America, in towns where Black people made up less than 1% of the population. That means over 90% of my perception of beauty, sex appeal, and social acceptance was shaped by the white gaze.

Growing Up Tall, Black, and Full-Bodied in a World That Wanted Me Smaller

I’ve been 6'1" since I was 13 years old, with thighs, hips, and a waistline that didn’t match the beauty ideals around me. For years, I held on to stories that told me my height was “too masculine” and my waist “not small enough.” My body was judged against a standard I never chose.

But recently, I’ve been remembering this truth: my spirit and soul are not tethered to my height, my waist, or my curves. My worth is not measured in inches.

Reclaiming My Body Through Music and Movement

When I press play on my dancehall or afrobeats playlist and my soft, strong, flexible waist winds to the beat, my Blackness — my Africanness — unearths itself.

When my long, thick legs twist and jump in magical, rhythmic succession, I feel the inheritance in my body’s movement. It transcends the low vibration of perfectionism — the kind built on narrow, white, “healthy” ideals.

My Body as Celebration

Loving my body isn’t about reaching a beauty standard. It’s about rejecting one. It’s about embracing the fact that my height, my curves, my strength, and my softness all tell the story of who I am.

My body is glorious simply because it exists. That truth, in itself, is a celebration. And in a world that asks women to make themselves smaller, that celebration is an act of resistance.

~ Nkem [@Naturallyfree123]

Called a Racial Slur at 7 Years Old:

My Journey Through Hate, Fear, and Resilience

At seven years old, the world shattered for me the first time I was called a racial slur — a moment that marked the beginning of my painful awareness of racism. Until then, I thought prejudice was a thing of the past, something from black-and-white movies and old history books. But that day, walking home alone, a hateful word pierced through my childhood innocence and changed everything.

The Day Hate Found Me: A Childhood Memory That Still Stings

Instead of meeting my mom at the school gate like usual, I was told to meet her three blocks down the street — a big step toward independence. Filled with excitement, I walked confidently, imagining the soundtrack of my journey, maybe a TLC or Spice Girls song in my head. But that moment froze when a pickup truck full of boys drove by, yelling a hateful slur at me, their breath hot on my face.

Feeling Alone and Seen: The Pain of Being the ‘Other’

In an instant, every eye on the street locked on me — the only Black child in a sea of white faces. Their silence was deafening. Their stares, piercing. I was invisible one moment and the target the next. The word they shouted wasn’t just a slur; it was a reminder that I was different, marked by a history and prejudice I didn’t understand but felt deeply.

Growing Up Black in a Mostly White World

Growing up, I faced this “otherness” daily — in classrooms, on playgrounds, even in history lessons about slavery where classmates would stare at me, as if trying to understand. Each instance chipped away at my sense of belonging, but I held on to the knowledge my parents gave me: that I was not defined by hateful words.

Healing from Racial Trauma: The Long Road to Strength

It wasn’t until 2020, at 31 years old, that I fully understood the weight of racial trauma. Watching George Floyd’s death unfold triggered a flood of painful memories and emotions — what I now call “POC PTSD episodes.” But unlike before, this time the world stood with us. Millions from every corner of the globe united in protest, offering hope and solidarity I had never seen before.

A Call to Action: Together Toward a More Perfect Union

We still have a long way to go, but I believe in the power of unity, awareness, and action. My story — from that terrifying moment at seven to the global movement in 2020 — is a reminder that we are not alone. Together, we can continue running the marathon toward justice, healing, and belonging.

Is Your Attachment Sabotaging What You’re Committed To?

Discover the Difference and Take Control of Your Life

Are you truly committed to living a life you love — or just attached to the thought of it? This subtle but powerful difference can make or break your journey toward your dreams.

Are You Filling Your Life with What You Love?

Do you actively take steps to fill your days with things that light you up? Are you patient and kind with yourself as you navigate the twists and turns? Commitment means honoring your principles and values, giving yourself the grace to try, fail, and learn.

Attachment vs. Commitment: The Hidden Saboteur of Your Dreams

Many people know what their ideal life looks like — but most are attached only to the idea of it, not the process of making it real. You may envision success, understand the steps to get there, but aren’t acting consistently or with focused momentum. The result? You settle for less than what you want, stuck in a cycle of waiting and wishing.

Ask Yourself: Which Side Are You On?

Are you clinging to the dream or dedicating yourself to the work it takes? Recognizing this is the first step. Then comes the deeper question: Why do you want to be committed? Your “why” is the spark that fuels passion and perseverance, the reason that keeps you going when things get hard.

How Commitment Changes Your Presence and Energy

When you shift from attachment to commitment, people notice. Your actions speak louder than words — they see your drive, your dedication, and the life you’re creating. You stop obsessing over the end goal and start living in the present, energized by your purpose.

Finding Your Why: The Key to Active Commitment

Write down why you choose to live powerfully every day. Make that reason so compelling it drives you “crazy in the best way.” This clarity will make all the difference in staying committed through challenges and breakthroughs alike.

I’d love to connect with you on Instagram, you can find me at @ambersabourin

Much love to you all,

Amberly

What Makes a True Queen?

Why It’s Time to Own Your Power

What makes a true Queen is often overlooked and wrongly defined. Traditionally, a queen is seen as the female ruler of an independent nation—usually by marriage to a king. But when it comes to women, the word “queen” can be misunderstood as an insecure girl with a superiority complex. Yet, look closer: in chess, the queen is the most powerful piece. In nature, the queen bee is the mother and leader of the entire colony. These many definitions point to one divine truth—a queen is simply a woman in power.

As women, it’s often hard to see ourselves as queens because we feel we don’t live up to that name. There are moments when we don’t feel powerful. Moments when the voices of our male counterparts seem louder than our own. Society programs us to be seen but not heard, to believe softness is better than strength—as if the two can’t exist together.

Women often forget: we are the bridge between heaven and earth. Some of us bring children earthside, while others build kingdoms from dreams and hope. The truth is, the actions of a queen begin with the mindset of one.

Whether you call yourself a drama queen, a beauty queen, or a queen bee, it’s your right to be the fiercest, most authentic version of yourself. As queens, we don’t wait for kings to give us our crowns—we make them ourselves.

Our Sunday Playlist to Teach You Self-Love:

Empowering Songs by Black Women

As Black women, we constantly encourage ourselves to love our skin, hair, and bodies—because self-love is the ultimate rebellion in a world that tries to tear us down. Music is one of the most powerful ways I’ve found to fuel that love, so I’ve put together a Sunday playlist just for you (and me) filled with empowering songs by brilliant Black women artists.

This playlist isn’t just background noise—it’s a daily reminder to celebrate our beautiful Black femininity and to keep loving ourselves fiercely. You’ll hear voices that preach one message: self-love is revolutionary. And yes, Queen Bey makes more than one appearance because how could she not?

1. Beyonce – Pretty Hurts
   

2. Alicia Keys – Girl on Fire
   

3. Nicki Minaj ft Beyonce – Feeling Myself
   

4. Mary J. Blige ft ASAP Rocky – Love yourself
   

5. Janelle Monae ft Erykah Badu – Q.U.E.E.N

6. Beyonce – Flawless
   

7. Beyonce ft Wizkid, Blue Ivy Carter & SAINt JHN – Brown skin girl
   

8. Kelly Rowland – Crown
   

9. SZA ft Kendrick Lamar – Doves in the Wind
   

10. Diana Ross – I’m Coming Out
    

11. Lizzo – Good as Hell
    

12. Kehlani – Bright
    
    

Put on your headphones, press play, and let these soulful, uplifting tracks remind you that you are deserving of all the love in the world. This is for your spirit, your heart, and your crown. I love you.

Daily Habits To Help Keep The Insanity Away:

3 Tips to Start Loving Your Mornings

When the sun comes up, are you the type who says, “Yay! It’s another day, let’s go get it!” or do you roll your eyes and think, “Oh great, here we go again…”? If you’re feeling that second way more often than not, this is especially for you. I’m sharing three simple daily habits that will make your day better, relieve stress, and soon enough, you’ll be genuinely excited to start your mornings.

1. Early to Bed, Early to Rise: The Timeless Wisdom That Works

Remember when Mama said, “Early to bed, early to rise”? Now we finally understand why she was right. Going to bed early lets your body rest fully and prepares you for a productive day ahead. Set your alarm for a reasonable hour and stick to it, girl—you’ll wake up feeling refreshed and ready to conquer.

2. Meditation Sessions: Find Your Calm and Clarity

Make time for meditation every day. Even a few minutes can bring clarity and peace. Meditation helps your mind and body relax, reducing stress that builds up throughout the day. Prioritize this self-care moment; it’s a game changer.

3. Hydrate, Girl, Hydrate!

You can never hear this enough: water does wonders for your body, skin, and hair. Carry a bottle of water with you all day, especially during summer or dry seasons. Staying hydrated helps you look and feel your best—trust me, you’ll notice the glow.

Women Have Needs:

The Truth About Desire, and Boundaries

We all have needs. Some are mild, others can border on extreme—and yes, that can be unhealthy for both partners. But let’s be clear: this isn’t about serial stalkers or the constant, demanding kind of neediness driven by deep insecurities. That’s another conversation.

This is about a universal truth: we all want to be thought of, wanted, and desired. And for women, especially, that desire for connection is often misjudged.

Why Wanting to Be Wanted Is Human—Not Weakness

It’s innate in all of us—men and women—to want to feel special. To be set apart. To know we matter. This is a need rooted in our nature, and often shaped by how we were nurtured (or not) in childhood.

From the rejections and failed relationships we experience as we grow, many of us start searching for fulfillment in a partner. Someone who can make us feel sexy, wanted, and desired. But here’s the hard truth: no one else can heal the insecurities you’ve picked up over the years.

Why Physical Intimacy Alone Won’t Fill the Void

Some women (and men) use the lure of sex or physical pleasure to feel that deeper desire. But it’s temporary. The high wears off, and you’re left staring at someone who feels like a stranger—feeling emptier than before.

That’s because intimacy without self-worth is just a placeholder. The real work starts with learning to love your imperfections perfectly, first.

A Message to Men: Respect the Need, Don’t Exploit It

• Be genuine in your intentions, first and foremost.
• Communicate your boundaries clearly—from the start.
• Don’t string her along once you “get” her.
• Never exploit her need to be wanted just to feed your own ego.

A Message to Women: Own Your Needs and Speak Them

• Communicate your needs—without shame or hesitation.
• Don’t pretend you’re fine with less than you deserve, then explode later.
• Stop accepting less in the hope it will turn into more.

Unspoken boundaries turn into unrealistic expectations. And expectations almost always lead to disappointment—sometimes heartbreak.

The Real Secret to Healthy Relationships

It’s not rocket science. Be a good human. Be honest with yourself. Be honest with the people you date. Communicate openly. Respect each other’s needs.

Because ultimately, you can’t expect someone else to crown you worthy—you have to give yourself that crown first.

2 Steps

to Powerful Personal Growth

Transform Your Mindset, Embrace Self-Love, and Thrive Through Life’s Challenges

Anthony Robbins famously teaches the 6 human needs: certainty, variety, significance, love and connection, growth, and contribution. Of all these, growth is one of the most reliable paths to lasting happiness.

When you prioritize personal growth, you start finding joy in the journey itself — not just in a specific outcome. You notice yourself responding to life’s challenges with more grace, patience, and empowerment. That’s the kind of joy that comes from evolving, from knowing that no matter what happens, you can handle it.

In this article, I’ll share two simple yet powerful steps that will help you grow, love yourself more deeply, and turn life’s obstacles into opportunities.

Step 1: Change Your Relationship With Obstacles

Instead of judging yourself or trying to “fix” who you are when challenges arise, try approaching them with loving acceptance.

Here’s how:

• Notice your body’s reaction. If you feel your chest tighten, your stomach knot, or emotions like sadness, anger, or jealousy arise — pause.
• Breathe love into that part of you. Imagine the unconditional love you feel for a child, pet, or someone dear to you. Visualize that love flowing from your heart into the part of you that feels constricted.

Over time, this practice builds a powerful sense of self-acceptance. You stop waiting for external approval or specific achievements to feel worthy. You start welcoming all parts of yourself — even the messy, imperfect ones.

Pro tip: When an obstacle appears, ask yourself:

“What are you here to teach me? What lesson is in this for me?”
Then, close your eyes, get mindful, and listen.

Step 2: Take One Small Step Outside Your Comfort Zone

Growth doesn’t require a giant leap. In fact, pushing yourself too far too fast can trigger fear or even a trauma response. Instead, take a tiny, manageable step toward something that stretches you — just enough to expand your comfort zone without overwhelming you.

These small acts build confidence and momentum. Before you know it, you’ll look back and realize how far you’ve come — one step at a time.

The Beauty of This Approach

When you combine self-love with gentle, consistent action, growth becomes something you look forward to instead of dread. You learn to trust yourself. You develop resilience. And you discover that joy comes not from the destination, but from who you become along the way.

If this resonates with you, connect with me on Instagram @soulintheraw. I’d love to hear your insights and celebrate your growth journey.

Why Hunting for Magic in Dating Left Me Disappointed

And What I Learned

If you’re dating and searching for that elusive magic, this is for you.

Most people know about writer’s block — that frustrating moment when words won’t flow no matter how hard you try. Well, I was feeling that same kind of block, but with dating. I was hopeless, impatient, and frustrated because I just wasn’t meeting anyone who could keep my interest for more than a day or two.

It wasn’t for lack of trying either. I was connecting with men who were interested and wanted to meet up, but most just wanted to sleep with me — and honestly, they didn’t even know how to really connect, physically or mentally.

Sex isn’t just sex for me. It’s got to be more than that. When the mental connection is strong, the physical takes you places beyond the mind. Without that, it’s just boring and unsatisfying.

I need a man who’s genuinely intrigued by me. Someone who wants to know what makes me tick — in every way. And I want that too. When I don’t get it, I get bored. And sure enough, I end up disappointed — over and over again.

I’ve lost count of how many times this has happened. I’d rather lose count of orgasms, not disappointments.

Then there were the men who caught my attention mentally but where the physical just… didn’t click. After a kiss, a coffee, or even sex, something inside me switched off, and I couldn’t explain why.

Having those honest conversations was hard. One guy even took my rejection as a challenge, which just annoyed me. Others were respectful, which somehow made me feel worse about not fully understanding why things weren’t working.

So I decided to stop hunting for magic. Because magic can’t be found — it finds you.

I’d spent months chasing butterflies and rainbows in all the usual places. It was pointless but necessary. I needed that “ah ha” moment. I needed to feel the frustration to realize my energy was misplaced — chasing something outside me instead of focusing on what I could control.

Now, I’m focused on my own emotional intelligence and cultivating my magic — so one day, it will meet its match.

Standards & Ideals VS Values & Principles:

Which Are Guiding Your Life and Self-Love?

Are you living by the standards and ideals around you — or by the values and principles that truly matter to you?

When it comes to self-love and living powerfully, do you find yourself following the standards and ideals set by those around you? Or have you created your own values and principles that inspire you deeply every day?

Have you ever paused to consider what influences your choices and actions? Are you living according to what matters most to you — or based on how others think your life should look?

What Are Standards and Ideals — And How Do They Shape Your Life?

Standards and ideals are expectations that often represent “perfection” or “excellence” — but they’re usually shaped by others. These come from your family, friends, community, workplace, culture, politics, or even societal norms.

When you live according to these external standards and ideals, you tend to act in ways others expect. This often leads to an inauthentic way of being — one that may not resonate with who you truly are or what inspires you most.

What Are Values and Principles — And Why Do They Matter More?

In contrast, values and principles are your personal compass. They come from what inspires you and what you believe gives your life meaning.

When you live according to your own principles and values, you:

• Do what you love and what inspires you
• Measure your self-worth based on your own standards
• Cultivate self-love by being open to receiving and giving love in all its forms

This alignment builds a mindset of self-love and gratitude because your actions resonate deeply with who you are.

My Journey: From Living Standards & Ideals to Creating My Own Values & Principles

This shift became clear to me during a difficult relationship. I was caught between two conflicting headspaces:

1. “No one has to be the same person tomorrow as they were today.”
2. “No one who loves me would hurt me like this.”

Both were rooted in the standards and ideals I absorbed from my environment. I had no clear personal principles or values guiding my love life. Instead, I blamed the men I dated for not meeting those external standards — but realized the real issue was my own ways of being and acting blocking love.

The challenge then became discovering my own principles and values — starting with how much I valued myself and what minimum love I was willing to accept to allow a relationship to flourish.

I began to see men, relationships, and myself through a new lens. I created a vision of a mutually abundant relationship and stood firmly inside it. This shift opened up endless possibilities for love — and for every area of my life.

How to Stay True to Your Values & Principles When Surrounded by External Expectations

Often, we unconsciously let external standards and ideals overtake the personal values we’ve set for ourselves. The more self-aware you become about your ways of being and acting, the easier it is to catch when you’re falling into others’ expectations.

Once aware, you can gently push those aside and reclaim your values and principles as your guiding light.

Final Thoughts: Build the Muscle of Self-Awareness and Self-Love

Be patient and kind to yourself as you practice this awareness. Give yourself the space to strengthen this “muscle” until living authentically — aligned with your own principles and values — becomes second nature.

I’d love to hear about the principles and values that inspire you to live powerfully and love yourself wholeheartedly.

Find me on Instagram @ambersabourin

Love always,
Amberly

5 Ways to

Build a Loving Relationship With Yourself

Love. That four-letter word can evoke all kinds of emotions depending on where you are in life and the experiences you’ve attached to it. More than ever in today’s world, it’s important that we direct that energy inward — toward ourselves. But how do we truly show up and love ourselves?

I know I’ve struggled with this for as long as I can remember. There’s no manual for self-love, yet it’s something we mustpractice to live a healthy, fulfilled life. In this digital age, we’re constantly bombarded with images and information, which makes falling into the comparison trap all too easy. Seeing highlight reels of seemingly perfect lives can make us feel like we’re not enough — our lives, our bodies, our choices.

One truth I’ve discovered is that we must be gentle with ourselves. All the grace and love we readily pour into others should be redirected inward. Small acts of self-kindness and embracing our imperfections are essential steps toward building a loving relationship with ourselves.

I see you. I’m proud of you. Take your time. Be gentle. And know it only gets better from here.

1. Take a Social Media Cleanse

We’ve all heard this advice, but there’s a reason it’s repeated. Social media can clutter your mental space and create feelings of inadequacy. I took three months away from Instagram, and it was life-changing. It reminded me how much time I spent looking at other people’s lives instead of living my own.

2. Curate Your Digital Space

If you must use Instagram for work or just can’t resist a peek, focus on curating your feed. Unfollow accounts that make you feel less than or insecure. Follow voices that uplift and inspire you. One woman who’s helped me tremendously is @cwhitehill, who provides tips for self-kindness and loving yourself fully.

3. Reconnect With Your Inner Circle

Sometimes we get so absorbed in the digital world that we forget the importance of real-life connections. Spend time with people who remind you who you are, those who cheer you on and reflect your light back to you. These relationships reinforce self-love and help you stay grounded in reality.

4. Take a Day for Yourself

This can be tough, especially if you’re a social butterfly like me. But taking time for yourself is never wasted. It allows you to sit with your thoughts, unpack emotions, and reflect without judgment. Self-reflection and solitude are powerful tools for nurturing a deeper relationship with yourself.

5. Go for Nature Walks

Even if you’re more of a city person like me, finding a quiet spot to walk and reflect can be transformative. You don’t always need a structured plan — just allow yourself to observe your thoughts and pour love and truth into them. Remind yourself of the heartaches you’ve survived and the joy that still awaits you. Nature walks and mindful reflection are ways to reconnect with yourself and strengthen self-love.

Growing Self-Love Every Day

Building a loving relationship with yourself is a journey, not a destination. These five strategies are small but powerful ways to nurture your self-worth, compassion, and joy. Be patient, celebrate the little victories, and allow yourself the space to grow.

I see you. I’m proud of the steps you’re taking. Keep showing up for yourself — and remember, the more you practice, the more your self-love will blossom.

What’s Your Superpower?

Embrace Your Weird and Own It

Have you ever stopped to think about your superpower?

We often idolize superheroes for their strength, skills, and extraordinary abilities. Wonder Woman is stronger than any man alive and can read people’s feelings. Supergirl has superhuman strength — and neither of them is even from Earth. Literally aliens! Storm (my girl!) can control and manipulate the weather. And let’s not forget Captain Marvel, Black Widow, and countless other superheroines who defy expectations and redefine what it means to be powerful.

They’re all “weird” in their own ways. But notice this: no one calls them freaks or weirdos. Why? Because they recognize, understand, and embrace what makes them different from the rest of humanity — and they use their gifts wisely.

Real-Life Superwomen Who Embraced Their Powers

Fiction aside, there are real women — especially Black women — who didn’t let circumstances hold them back:

• Michelle Obama — redefining grace, leadership, and influence.
• Serena Williams — dominating tennis and breaking barriers in sports.
• Oprah Winfrey — shaping media, culture, and philanthropy.
• Viola Davis — excelling in film, stage, and advocacy.
• Winnie Harlow — redefining beauty standards and inspiring confidence.

They overcame naysayers, regulations, and societal expectations to become icons in their fields.

Your Superpower Is Already Within You

Here’s the truth: being a woman is your superpower.

You were created to fill a void no one else can. Your body, your mind, and your abilities are unique and impossible to imitate. Your superpower transcends:

• Skin color
• Health condition
• Body weight
• Ethnicity
• Height
• Social expectations

Who are others to judge what is socially acceptable? Often, it’s their fear or difference speaking, not your limitation.

How to Turn Your “Weird” Into Your Superpower

• Recognize your uniqueness — understand what sets you apart.
• Embrace your “weird” — those quirks and qualities others might call odd are your strength.
• Use your gifts intentionally — apply your abilities in ways that positively impact yourself and others.

Darling, your differences are your power. Stop shrinking. Stop apologizing. Own your weird, embrace your superpower, and let the world see it shine

Black Culture:

The Wounded Warriors

Reflecting on the Present and Our History

As I cast my gaze over the large green pasture and draw in Mother Nature’s gentle breeze, I let my imagination carry me away. It is June of 2020. I am a citizen of the richest nation in the world — a nation with self-driving cars, instant news, and delivery apps for nearly everything. And yet, it is in the midst of the largest civil rights movement of its time.

It’s ironic. America has achieved so much progress in technology and innovation, yet true equality for Black people still feels like the proverbial hamster on a wheel: pushing hard, but ending up in the same place.

My Identity and the Weight of Generational Pain

My name is Nichole. I am God-fearing. I am an artist, a mother, a friend, a lover, a fighter, and above all — a Black woman.

Tears stream down my face as I try to comprehend how this nation can be so majestic and destructive simultaneously. My childhood held its own traumas. My parents loved us fiercely, but they were wounded and not always equipped to handle it.

• My mom, a brilliant finance manager, managed million-dollar budgets but was passed over simply because she was Black.
• My dad, a Navy veteran of 30 years, sacrificed for this country but still faced systemic obstacles tied to his race.

For my parents, being Black meant fighting every day for basic access to the American Dream, despite their qualifications and efforts. The Constitution promised them equality — but it wasn’t written with them in mind.

The Ubiquity of Pain in Black Culture

That sense of powerlessness has been passed down through generations. Black wounded culture manifests in many ways:

• Median income far below the poverty line
• High rates of violence and self-destruction
• Cultural misrepresentation and appropriation
• Broken minds, spirits, and hearts reflecting pain onto one another

We wake up daily, putting on our wounded warrior masks, navigating a society that offers little space for healing or justice.

Conformity vs. Authenticity

As Black women, we’re often pressured to conform — to style, hair, body, and beauty standards. Black men face the reality of being perceived as threats regardless of their actions. Our children are conditioned to work harder and fight for recognition.

A personal example:

While working a customer service job, a man called to complain about an ad featuring “some Black man.” His words shocked me, and I cried. Even after years of hearing similar comments, the sting remains. It’s a reminder of how deeply ingrained societal bias affects us and our responses.

Finding Strength and Resilience

In that moment, I felt God’s presence and heard a whisper: “keep going.” Suddenly, the achievements of Black culture over 400 years flooded my mind.

From chains to CEOs, from drug dealers to doctors, from poverty to the presidency, from addicts to athletes — our culture has thrived because we kept going despite adversity.

My parents turned dystopia into their Utopia. They didn’t wait for better conditions; they chose to grow, thrive, and align with the vision God had for them.

The Magic of Black Wounded Culture

As I stand in that pasture, I smile, reminded that our Black wounded culture is full of magic. Love and resilience persist, even through generational trauma and societal challenges. There is no light without dark, and the legacy of Black strength and achievement continues to shine.

For a Black Girl:

Owning Our Story, Reclaiming Our Power

“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.” — Brené Brown

We don’t talk nearly enough about the harmful, debilitating comments Black women endure daily — from the color of our skin, to the texture of our hair, to the shape of our bodiesWhether you call them microinsults or just outright disrespect, these moments chip away at self-esteem. And they’re not new — from as early as the 15th century, aspects of our culture like hair, traditions, and beliefs were stripped away. The effects are still visible today.

I spoke with three beautiful Black women who bravely shared how certain comments and behaviors have left them feeling insecure in their own skin.

Hair Discrimination and the “It Can’t Be Yours” Assumption

Ty, 21, shared her frustration:

“When I had my hair relaxed and it was long to my butt, I was constantly asked if it was weave or if I’m mixed. Now with long natural hair, I’m still asked if it’s weave or immediately what I’m mixed with. It’s not flattering — it’s like a Black girl can’t have beautiful hair without it being fake. Like it’s impossible for me to just be Black with long hair; there has to be some sort of universe stirring in my favor.”

These assumptions reveal a deeper bias — the idea that Black beauty must be “explained” or linked to something other than being fully Black.

Colorism and Rejection from Our Own

Mel, 22, recalled a painful experience:

“I dated a guy in secondary school but never met him in person. When we finally planned to meet, my white female best friend came along. He assumed she was the girl he’d been talking to and started flirting with her. When she corrected him, he told me to my face that he doesn’t like Black girls, then asked my friend out in front of me. He was a Black man himself. My heart was broken. I know everyone has preferences, but it made me ashamed of my skin color and afraid of dating.”

This isn’t just about rejection — it’s about internalized racism and the deep wounds it creates.

Body Image Pressures in Black Culture

Mia, 22, spoke about body image stereotypes:

“I’ve always felt like Black women are portrayed as having wide hips, a big ass, and full breasts. Being petite, I’d look at myself and think, ‘I don’t look like that.’ It made me insecure because I didn’t fit the so-called image of what a Black woman is supposed to look like.”

This unrealistic and narrow image of Black femininity leaves many women feeling like they’re not “enough” — even within their own community.

Healing, Self-Love, and Rewriting the Narrative

Despite these painful experiences, each woman has found ways to reclaim her power:

• Ty now embraces her natural hair confidently, regardless of questions and criticism.
• Mel is in a relationship where she is loved unconditionally.
• Mia is on a transformative self-love journey and making tremendous progress.

The day a Black woman begins to love herself without apology, she becomes an unstoppable force.

The Call to Black Women Everywhere

Ignore the noise. Heal from the wounds of comparison and criticism.
Your life truly begins when you love yourself as you are.

The journey is not easy — but it is the most radical and powerful act you can take.

Most of You Aren’t Living

Your Best Life – Find Out Why

How to Go From Being Attached to the Thought of Living a Life You Love to Actively Committing to It

Understanding the Difference Between Attachment and Commitment

Are you attached to the thought of living a life you love, or are you actively committed to making it happen?

Attachment keeps us in a state of imagining a perfect life without taking consistent action. Commitment, on the other hand, means aligning your actions, principles, and values to create a reality that reflects the life you truly desire.

Ask yourself:

• Are you taking consistent action to fill your life with things you love?
• Are you patient and loving with yourself during the process?
• Do you give yourself the space to experiment, make mistakes, and find what truly works for you?
• When you discover what works, do you allow yourself the time to gain momentum and see real results?
• Are you challenging yourself to grow beyond your previous limits?

Why Most People Don’t Live Their Best Life

All of us want the life of our dreams, and some achieve it. But most of us settle for a lesser version of what we truly want. Why? Because we aren’t actively committed—we’re merely attached to the thought of it.

We know what’s possible. We might even know the steps required to get there. But if action isn’t taken, the life we imagine remains just that—imagined, not real.

The Power of Knowing Your Why

The first step toward active commitment is asking yourself:

• Why do I want to live this life?
• What does a life I love actually look like for me?

Your why is the source of your passion and inspiration. When you are crazy in love with your why, it fuels the actions that turn dreams into reality.

How Active Commitment Transforms Your Life

When you move from attachment to commitment:

• People notice your actions and your dedication to what you love.
• Your energy communicates passion, hope, and inspiration to others.
• You stop obsessing over the end result and start fully living in the present, guided by your reasons why.

Daily reminders of your why keep your commitment alive. Planning your actions around that why ensures that your choices consistently reflect the life you want to live.

My Journey From Attachment to Commitment

I wasn’t always committed to living a life I love. I struggled with self-love, body image, and purpose. But when I discovered my why—impacting the world positively—I shifted. Now:

• I actively commit to my purpose every day.
• I let that commitment guide my actions and interactions.
• You, my readers and followers, are my why. Everything I do is intended to positively impact you and the world around us.

Your Turn: Commit to Your Best Life

Take a moment today to reflect: Are you attached or committed? How can you start taking consistent actions that honor your why?

I’d love to hear how you are actively committing to living a life you love. Connect with me on Instagram @ambersabourin.

Much love,
Amberly

He Rejected Me?!

Yep, He Rejected Me.

It started off like most years—full of promise and excitement.
I was in full-on business mode with a new side hustle launching that spring, and things were off to a great start.

On the personal side, well... I’m still single. Not for lack of trying. But yes:
S. I. N. G. L. E.

This Is Not a Plea for a Boyfriend

Let me be clear:

• I’m not lonely.
• I’m not distressed about being single.
• I’m not worried if I never find anyone.

Do I want to meet someone? Absolutely. But I’m not desperate for just anyone.

I’ve done the work—years of it. I understand my emotions. I embrace them. I love who I am, inside and out. It may have taken 39 years, but hey—better late than never, right?

Why Rejection Still Hurts

Self-work takes dedication, patience, kindness, and most of all—forgiveness.

So when I meet someone who seems just as self-aware as I am, I get excited. I throw myself in, expecting them to see the magic in me:

• My loving nature
• My sense of fun
• My solid career and independence
• My passion, romance, and thoughtfulness

And then… they reject me.

The Sting of “Not Enough”

It hurts. It makes me question whether I’ve done enough work—or if I’m “too much and not enough” all at once.

Our friends try to console us:

“They’re an idiot not to see how amazing you are.”
“It’s their loss—they’ll regret this!”

And maybe that’s true. But what we really want is for that person—the one we felt was perfect—to want us back.

The Excuses I’ve Heard

Here are the greatest hits:

• “You’re amazing, but I’m just not ready for a relationship.”
• “I’m just dating, I can’t commit to one person.”
• “I’m not sure what I want right now.”
• “My life is just too busy.”

Busy? So am I. The difference? I make time when I’m genuinely interested. #ComeUpWithABetterExcuse

Disappointments That Shaped This Year

• Friends who let me down in ways that hurt deeply.
• Boys pretending to be men, just looking for a quick hookup.
• Good men who excited me, but couldn’t dive deep enough for real connection.

It sucks. All of it.

Choosing Love Over Bitterness

Here’s what I’m not going to do:

• Let disappointment define me.
• Let rejection jade my spirit.
• Close myself off from new friendships.
• Compare the next man to the ones who hurt me.
• Let hurt turn into desperation or regret.

Here’s what I will keep doing:

• Loving
• Giving
• Wishing
• Listening to my intuition
• Believing in magic and possibilities
• Writing my truth

From ~ B [@sexinthe6ixblog]

Take the Wheel on Your Dating Life:

A Guide for Women

How I Learned About Dating

I started dreaming about dating long before I was old enough to do it. I began at sixteen, and over the next five years, I experienced my fair share of relationships. Each one taught me something about myself, helping me figure out what I truly want out of life.

From jocks to nerds, and yes—even the British boys (note: stay FAR away from them)—dating has been an adventure in self-discovery.

Stop Projecting Your Expectations

Many of us enter relationships imagining the “perfect life” with someone special. We project our expectations onto our partners and forget that they are unique individuals with their own desires and goals.

Pro tip: Expecting someone to fulfill your vision of “perfect” will only lead to disappointment.

Dating Isn’t About Marriage

Society and media often pressure us to have life figured out by twenty-two. But the reality? Most of us don’t know exactly what we want yet.

I used to view dating strictly as a path to marriage, which made the whole process stressful and complicated. Then I realized: dating isn’t an obstacle course—it’s about exploration and connection.

When you stop dating just for marriage, your dating pool expands dramatically. You start meeting people who may not fit your “perfect partner” mold but can still bring laughter, comfort, and support into your life.

Focus on What Really Matters

Dating isn’t about money, looks, or social status. It’s about shared experiences, emotional connection, and mutual respect. The superficial aspects that society glorifies rarely lead to lasting happiness.

Ask yourself: Why am I attracted to this person? In my last failed relationship, I realized I was drawn to someone simply because he was cute and British. I imagined a life with him without considering his own goals or heart. That’s a mistake many of us make.

Women, Take Control of Your Dating Life

As women, we have more power than we often recognize. With just a few swipes, we can explore countless opportunities to meet new people. Fear of judgment or “slut shaming” shouldn’t stop us from dating freely and figuring out what we truly want.

Once you stop dating solely to settle down, you become more liberated, independent, and ambitious—and you gain clarity about what makes you happy in a partner and in life.

Key Takeaways

• Stop projecting unrealistic expectations onto partners.
• Dating isn’t just for marriage—it’s for self-discovery.
• Focus on emotional connection, not superficial traits.
• Embrace your power as a woman to explore and learn.
• Each relationship teaches you more about yourself.

Dating is a journey of self-discovery, laughter, and learning—not a checklist to fulfill societal expectations. Take the wheel, and enjoy the ride.

~ Kaitlyn [ @kat.malonee ]

57 Days: A Love Story

Practicing Presence and Emotional Growth in Marriage

The Miracle of Everyday Moments

It’s 8pm, and I feel like I’ve just taken my first breath of the day. My body relaxes into the couch while my husband—who loves food almost as much as he loves me—is in the kitchen cooking a special Shabbat dinner.

I glance at one of my plants (yes, I’ve become obsessed since COVID) and gasp: a new sprout. Immediately, tears well up.

"You see how not present I am," I say aloud.

My husband sits beside me. “What if you could just appreciate the beauty instead of making yourself wrong?” he says.

Gratitude flows. Presence is learned in these small, everyday miracles.

Emotional Highs and Lows in Marriage

And then he takes a loud gulp from my water glass, and I can’t stand him.

This perfectly sums up the past 57 days: emotional intensity, love, frustration, and growth—all rolled into one.

These experiences have pushed me to explore new forms of emotional expression, moving beyond the brain and into the body. There’s been growing, shifting, shaking, and leaning into discomfort. I’ve allowed myself to feel emotions I once labeled “bad,” trying to be perfect all the time—whatever that even means.

Irritability and Relationship Challenges

Irritability has been real. My loving, supportive, perfect husband has been driving me crazy. We’re spending more time together than ever, navigating uncharted territory as a couple.

At first, I wondered: Is something wrong here?

Then I came across a post by @lindsayellenrein:

"The goal here is not to change each other," her therapist said, “the goal is to tolerate your differences.”

I burst into tears.

Accepting Differences in Marriage

I’m learning to see every part of my husband—both the parts I love and the parts that frustrate me. These differences, while challenging, are not obstacles. They are part of the relationship growth process.

By acknowledging our differences while honoring our shared values, we practice:

• Compassion
• Respect
• Emotional resilience
• Constructive communication

This awareness has shifted my perspective from seeing conflict as something “wrong” to seeing it as an opportunity for growth—individually and as a couple.

The Journey of Love and Growth

We are learning to hold space for our differences while moving forward together. These differences make us who we are, the people we fell in love with, and the partners we chose.

Stay tuned for Part 2, where I’ll share the specific challenges we’re navigating and a step-by-step guide for processing differences in your own relationship.

Until then, I breathe, practice compassion, cry, and probably order more plants.

[ @fromloafttolifter ]

How to Smash Your Big Audacious Goals:

A Step-by-Step Guide

Why Most People Don’t Chase Big Dreams

Have you ever dreamed so big that it felt impossible to achieve, so you just brushed it off and moved on with your life?

I get it. I’ve been there. I watched others turn audacious dreams into reality while I stayed stuck, avoiding my goals because I didn’t know where to start. Avoiding my big dreams only left me frustrated, unfulfilled, and miserable.

I didn’t want to settle like I saw others around me. I wanted to take the path less traveled, to explore what it would take to reach the extraordinary rewards waiting at the end.

The Reality of Pursuing Audacious Goals

Chasing your big goals isn’t easy. It requires:

• Falling down and getting back up
• Trial and error
• Overcoming self-doubt

But I promise you, if you keep moving forward, you will eventually reach the finish line—and often, even further than you imagined.

The Power of Sharing Your Goals

One game-changing discovery I made was the power of manifesting and sharing my goals.

Every person I interacted with had ideas, insights, and resources I hadn’t considered. By sharing my big audacious goals, I was effectively enrolling others in my journey—they cheered me on, offered support, and helped open doors I couldn’t have seen on my own.

The more I shared, the more possible paths appeared. The more possible paths appeared, the closer my goals became.

Keep Going: Big Goals Are Limitless

Your big audacious goals can be bigger than you ever imagined. The key is:

• Don’t stop when you reach one goal—keep moving onto the next.
• Take paths less traveled and embrace the unknown.
• Keep discovering, experimenting, and smashing goals.

You decide your paths, your goals, and your journey.

Choose Yourself and Your Happiness

Ultimately, pursuing big audacious goals is about choosing:

• Choose you
• Choose what fills you up
• Choose what matters most
• Choose what makes you happy
• Choose love and self-acceptance

Choose to love yourself enough to gift yourself the life you’ve only dreamed of. You deserve it.

Love always, Amberly

@ambersabourin.‍

5 Ways

to Stay in a Positive Mindset Every Day

Why Our Brains Lean Negative

Did you know our brains are naturally wired to think negatively? Think of it like a temperature gauge set low by default—high is positive, low is negative.

What moves that gauge up or down is usually our surroundings and influences. Have you noticed how the same situation can affect people differently? Some brush it off, some laugh, and some freak out.

This shows how our mindset is shaped by the people and environment we surround ourselves with. Ever heard the phrase, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with?”

How to Build a Consistently Positive Mindset

Being positive isn’t just a feeling—it’s a habit and a lifestyle. It requires structure, consistency, and intentional choices in:

• The people you spend most of your time with
• Daily practices like gratitude and meditation
• Moving your body and nourishing your mind

You don’t have to ditch friends, but you do want to prioritize relationships and habits that uplift you.

5 Ways to Stay in a Positive Mindset

1. Practice Daily Gratitude

Write down at least three things you’re grateful for every day. Morning, evening, or both—experiment to see what works best for you.

2. Meditate for Mindful Awareness

• Morning meditation: Sit quietly, focus on the great things you aim to accomplish that day.
• Evening meditation: Reflect on the good that tomorrow will bring and what you plan to achieve.
  Keep it short—5 minutes is enough to reset your mind.

3. Move Your Body Daily

Exercise releases endorphins and boosts positivity. Walk, do yoga, or hit the gym—30 minutes a day can make a huge difference.

4. Challenge Negative Thoughts

When negativity creeps in, force yourself to find at least one positive fact about the situation. You’ll always find one, even in difficult moments.

5. Read to Grow Your Mind

Read something that feeds your mind and soul. Knowledge, self-development, or motivational content can strengthen your mindset and resilience.

Staying positive is a practice, not perfection. Surround yourself with uplifting people, challenge negative thoughts, and commit to daily habits that raise your mental and emotional “temperature.”

Stay positive, my loves! Want to continue the conversation? Hit me up on Instagram: @ambersabourin

Much love,
Amberly

5 Ways to Crush Your Goals

and Make Your Dreams Come True

Why Most People Struggle With Big Dreams

You know those dreams so far out of reach that you can’t even imagine a path to achieve them? You try things over and over again, hoping something will work, but it never does. I’ve been there—and this guide is for you.

Step 1: Create a Vision Board That Inspires You

Start with a vision board as big as your dreams. Include everything you could ever want—financial goals, career milestones, personal achievements—even reading 10 books!

• Do it annually to map out the year ahead.
• Add a “but why” statement for each dream to clarify your passion and motivation.
• Place it somewhere visible to remind yourself daily why you’re pursuing these goals.

Your vision board becomes the anchor for your daily actions and long-term goals.

Step 2: Set a Timeline for Each Goal

Assess each area of your vision board and create a realistic yet ambitious timeline.

• Some goals may take a year; others 5–10 years, like a dream home or career.
• Balance being reasonable and unreasonable—don’t limit yourself with doubts, but don’t set impossible deadlines either.
• Trust your instincts and push yourself beyond comfort zones.

Step 3: Start With Your Most Passionate Goal

Choose the goal that makes your “but why” statement ignite your soul.

• Prioritize something achievable in the near term that can kickstart momentum for other goals.
• Focus your energy on actions that bring immediate progress and motivation.

Step 4: Plan Every Detail

Planning is the second most important step.

• Put everything in your calendar.
• Make your plan foolproof, realistic, and ambitious.
• Break down each goal into actionable steps so you can work your plan effectively and confidently.

A solid plan turns your dreams into achievable goals.

Step 5: Work the Plan Relentlessly

This is the most critical step: put in the work.

• Goals don’t manifest on their own—you must take consistent action.
• Treat your calendar commitments as promises to yourself.
• Expect setbacks, but use them to improve your plan and keep moving forward.

Persistence and accountability are the keys to turning dreams into reality.

If you follow these 5 steps, you’ll be well on your way to crushing your goals and making your dreams come true. Remember: plan meticulously, act relentlessly, and stay inspired by the vision you’ve created.

Much love,
Amberly

@ambersabourin

Getting Through a Breakup:

How I Survived Heartbreak and Learned to Love Myself Again

Breakups. One of the most painful experiences we face.
It’s the gut-wrenching feeling of watching the life you thought you knew slip away.

I know heartbreak all too well. For privacy, let’s call this most recent guy London.

London and I were in a long-distance relationship—he was in England, I was in America. We decided to make it work. I started saving money so he could move here. He started looking at apartments… and, as I would later find out, other women.

The relationship ended when I discovered he had cheated on me several times in one weekend. He blamed the ketamine. I blamed myself.

The Pain That Comes in Waves

About a month after the breakup—two weeks into self-quarantine—I was having my nightly Sex and the City binge when an Instagram ad popped up for the exact phone case London had. It wasn’t popular in America, so I brushed it off as an odd coincidence… until our song started playing in the background.

As “Try a Little Tenderness” played, my mind whispered the thing I hated most: What if this is a sign we’ll get back together?

That’s the dangerous part of a breakup—you start romanticizing the good memories and ignoring the truth. You hyper-focus on the wonderful times, the positive impact, and try to make sense of how something so perfect could go so wrong.

The hurt came in waves. One day, I thought, You’re over him. The next, a simple phone case sent me crashing back to square one.

Why You Need to “Emotionally Throw Up”

Breakups are messy and unpredictable, just like the emotions they unleash.
We often try to distract ourselves from the pain, but my mom once told me something I’ll never forget:

“The body never does anything to hurt itself.”

Think about throwing up. Nobody enjoys it, but afterward, you feel better. If we don’t resist the physical urge to throw up, why do we resist emotionally purging our feelings?

Instead of forcing yourself to “move on” before you’re ready, admit when you’re not okay. Only then can you begin to heal.

Giving Yourself Time to Heal

Healing after a breakup isn’t instant. You wouldn’t break your leg and expect to run marathons in a week—so don’t expect your heart to work that way either.

This is the time to reconnect with yourself. Think about the things you wanted to do while in the relationship but never made time for. Start exploring what brings you joy without worrying about anyone else’s opinion.

Some ideas:

• Make yourself coffee and finally read that book you’ve been putting off.
• Try yoga, meditation, or stretching in the mornings.
• Bake that cake you’ve been thinking about.
• Start journaling your thoughts, even if they’re messy.

The Most Important Relationship Is With Yourself

Relationships come and go—and one day, quarantine will too. But the most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one with yourself.

Holding on to toxic emotions only hurts you in the long run. Take this time to rebuild, piece by piece, into someone who feels whole on her own.
You are not defined by who stayed or who left.
You are defined by how fiercely you choose to show up for yourself when no one else does.

Dear Breasts:

A Love Letter to My Body

Never Apologize for Being Authentically You

"Never apologize for being authentically you. I know it’s tough, but you are one of a kind and there’s beauty in every small imperfection."

I flash back to being 11 years old, standing in a department store with my mom, sorting through training bras. My face burned with embarrassment, and I felt exposed in ways I didn’t understand at the time.

The Roller Coaster of Self-Acceptance

Over the years, my relationship with my breasts has been anything but simple. I wished I could wave a magic wand to change their appearance. I envied the girls with smaller breasts, wanted to feel dainty, and often felt awkward in my curvy body.

I wanted to hide away because unwanted attention from older men made me feel unsafe and anxious.

A Defining Moment in High School

In high school, the struggle intensified. Most of my friends were small-breasted, and I felt out of place as the curvy girl. One day, wearing a white v-neck, I was pulled aside by a school administrator and told my shirt violated dress code.

I was frustrated and confused, but my anger revealed something important: this wasn’t about me—it was about others’ entitlement over MY body.

From that moment:

• I decided to celebrate my natural breasts.
• I refused to hide or apologize for my body.
• I stood proud, despite magazine “rules” or stares from others.

The next day, I wore the v-neck again, even got sent to the dean’s office, and was suspended—but instead of embarrassment, I felt proud and empowered.

Embracing My Body Today

Now at 25, I’m thankful for the relationship I’ve built with my body:

• Laying around the house bra-free feels freeing.
• I celebrate my breasts’ natural asymmetry—they’re sisters, not clones.
• I feel powerful and sexy after getting my nipples pierced, for ME.

My breasts remind me of the power and resilience of the human body. Their rise and fall with every breath is a reminder: I’m still here, still moving forward, still thriving.

A Message to Young Women

To the young girls and women reading this:

• Never apologize for being authentically you.
• Celebrate every small imperfection.
• Your body fights for you every day—be kind to it.
• You are a powerhouse, beautiful exactly as you are, and do not change for anyone.

Owning Your Body, Loving Yourself

Celebrating your body and its curves is an act of self-love and empowerment. There is no shame in your natural body. I love my breasts and my body wholeheartedly—and so should you.

Follow Chenelle Hicks for more inspiration: @nellehicks

How to Cultivate Self-Love:

5 Powerful Ways to Nourish Your Inner Beauty

The Radiance of True Beauty

What makes a human being beautiful?
There’s an undeniable radiance some people carry—a certain je ne sais quoi that turns heads without a single word. This kind of beauty isn’t about meeting narrow physical standards or having an exact waist-to-hip ratio.

It’s something deeper.
It’s cultivated through fierce dedication to self-love.
It’s the glow that comes from inner beauty.

When we nourish ourselves with love, beauty blooms from the inside out. This transformation is intentional—it’s a conscious decision to evolve. And when we do, life opens up with abundance, joy, and a magnetic energy that others can’t help but notice.

So, how exactly do we consciously cultivate self-love? It starts with self-care—but not just the surface-level kind. Self-care is deeply personal, and while bubble baths, face masks, and candles can absolutely be part of it, sometimes it’s about screaming into a pillow and letting the tears flow.

Here are five powerful ways to start cultivating self-love and radiating beauty from within.

1. Get Inspired and Cultivate Your Creativity

Every single person carries creative energy within. You don’t need to paint a masterpiece to be an artist—creativity shows up in countless ways.

It could be experimenting with spices in your pantry to invent a new soup. It might be gathering wildflowers for a rustic bouquet. It could be styling an outfit that makes you feel alive.

The goal? Enter that flow state where time disappears. The more you express your creativity, the more vibrantly your outer world reflects your inner beauty.

2. Feed Yourself to Feed Your Soul

What we eat is a direct message to ourselves: I care about you.

Nourishing foods give us physical vitality and emotional resilience. Fresh fruits, vegetables, whole foods—these choices act as medicine. And while coffee might be a beloved ritual, leaning on it for every energy dip can drain your adrenals over time.

Instead, explore natural boosts like maca, cacao, or functional mushrooms. When you’re well-nourished, your body can better reflect your inner radiance.

3. Speak to Yourself Like a Best Friend

Our self-talk shapes how we feel and who we become. Imagine speaking to your closest friend the way you speak to yourself—would they still want to be around you?

Shift your inner dialogue to kindness and encouragement. Treat yourself with the same patience, humor, and warmth you’d offer someone you love. You are the one person who will be by your side for life—make that relationship beautiful.

4. Nurture Your Body with Love

Yes, this is where the bubble baths and candles come in. Sensory self-care sends a powerful message: I deserve this.

Light a candle with intention, take a steamy shower, or sink into a warm bath. Lather up with your favorite creams, oils, or soaps. Allow your senses to soak in the luxury of the moment—you’re worth it.

5. Take Care of Your Gut (and Your Mood)

Your gut produces about 95% of your serotonin—the neurotransmitter that helps regulate mood and happiness.

Caring for your digestive system can dramatically impact how you feel. Whether it’s increasing fiber, trying a gentle cleanse, or simply eating more probiotic-rich foods, a healthy gut is foundational to emotional well-being.

The Practice of Self-Love

Building self-love is a daily practice. Old beliefs may resist at first, and new habits can feel awkward. But with consistency, self-care becomes second nature—and the reward is undeniable.

The more you care for yourself, the brighter your inner light will shine. And that, more than anything, is the essence of beauty.

Can You Afford to Eat Organic?

My Grocery Store Experiment

Is Organic Food Always More Expensive?

Have you ever wondered if eating organic could fit into your budget? The common belief is that organic food costs more than conventional produce—but is that really true?

Instead of relying on websites or secondhand reports, I decided to investigate for myself by visiting six supermarkets in my area and conducting some hands-on research.

Before sharing my findings, ask yourself:

1. If organic produce was only slightly more expensive than conventional, would I make the switch?
2. What cost or convenience factors would make me choose organic over conventional?
3. Am I aware of the health and environmental benefits of eating organic fruits and vegetables?

My Journey to Organic Eating

I’ve been eating organic fruits and vegetables for over a year now. My transition wasn’t fueled by a lucky promotion—it started when I joined a local CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) program.

The convenience of having fresh veggies delivered every Wednesday fit perfectly into my busy schedule. Paying a fixed price of $34 per week for my basket, I realized I had no idea how much this basket would cost at a grocery store. So I decided to investigate.

The Experiment: Organic vs Conventional Produce

Goal: Compare the cost of my weekly vegetable basket if purchased conventionally versus organically.

Method: Visit six grocery stores (three conventional, three health food stores) and record the price of each item. I made sure to:

• Select the exact type of produce (apples, pears, etc.)
• Record sale prices if available
• Note local vs imported variations

Findings:

• Conventional basket prices: $18 – $26
• Organic basket prices: $26 – $29

Some surprises:

• Local apples were cheaper than imported apples.
• Local yellow peppers were more expensive than Mexican peppers.
• Some health food stores charged more than Whole Foods for the same vegetables.

Does Eating Organic Break the Bank?

The answer: Not necessarily.

Being a smart grocery shopper makes a huge difference. Prices vary based on:

• Local vs imported produce
• Seasonal availability
• Sales and promotions

Organic produce is more accessible today than it was 5–10 years ago, and small-scale research like mine shows it can be affordable depending on where and how you shop.

What I Learned About Eating Organic on a Budget

This week of research helped me challenge old assumptions:

• Organic produce doesn’t always cost more than conventional.
• Organic produce can sometimes be cheaper than its conventional counterpart.

Keep in mind: prices vary by region. My findings are based on supermarkets in the Toronto area, and results could be different elsewhere.

The key takeaway: eating organic can fit your budget if you plan, compare, and shop smart. With increased accessibility, organic eating could become the norm—not just for the wealthy, but for anyone willing to make informed choices.

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Facing Anxiety:

A Personal Story of Panic, Dreams, and Seeking Help

When Anxiety Feels Like a Flood

@jwhitak85 almost drowned last night. Waves from the ocean crashed into our house. Faceless friends ran up and down the stairs seeking shelter, and from my balcony, I could see massive waves rise above the home.

Inside, the water moved smooth and slow, like a silky bedsheet covering each corner. Each time the waves outside pulled back, the water inside drained slightly—but with every slam, it rose higher, nearly covering me from head to toe. Panic gripped me.

And then my alarm went off. I reached blindly for my wife, and sleep quickly pulled me back into the dream, repeating the flooding house over and over.

The Reality of Anxiety-Ridden Dreams

The panic didn’t last long once I fully woke. Over time, I’ve come to peace with these anxiety dreams, though they leave lingering tension—a low vibration under my skin. It’s always there, present but not usually disruptive of daily life.

A therapist once called it exactly what it felt like: Anxious Brain (AB).

Meeting My Anxious Brain Head-On

In therapy, we gave it a name and began responding:

• When AB told me I didn’t deserve to be a leader at work, we reminded ourselves of my 10 years of hard work.
• When AB said I wasn’t good enough for my spouse, we listed all the ways I am a loving and supportive partner.
• When AB told me I was failing my friends, my child, or my dreams, we countered with facts, encouragement, and self-love.

We fought back—until it didn’t seem to work anymore.

When Life Becomes Too Much

Stress, work, family, motherhood, finances, brain chemistry—these could all be blamed. But what mattered most was the constant dread that wouldn’t drain, like the water in my dream.

I spiraled in thoughts during meetings, traffic, bedtime routines. I feared failing at everything I once loved. Focus and joy slipped away.

Seeking Professional Help for Anxiety and Panic

Eventually, I called a psychiatrist and started medication. Three new pills, a plan for a calmer future, and support from professionals gave me hope.

If you’re in this place—or anywhere near it—please seek help. Not ready for a professional? Lean on a friend or family member. You are not alone.

There’s no shame in seeking help for mental health: therapy, meditation, exercise, medications—whatever works for you matters. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health.

Breathing Exercise to Calm Anxiety

Here’s a simple breathing exercise that can help when panic or anxious thoughts take over:

1. Inhale deeply through your nose for 4 counts.
2. Hold your breath for 4 counts.
3. Exhale slowly through your mouth for 6 counts.
4. Repeat for 3–5 minutes, focusing on the rhythm of your breath.

This can help ground you, slow your racing thoughts, and calm your nervous system.

You Are Not Alone

Beautiful Girl, the world needs you. You are more than your mental health struggles. With support, self-care, and professional help, we can navigate anxiety together.

How I Escaped

a Toxic Relationship and Chose Myself

Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride

In my early 20s, I was always a bridesmaid, but never a bride. My romantic relationship was so toxic that my friends wouldn’t even allow him at their weddings. I longed for the love I saw around me, yet I kept choosing a manipulative man and falling into a cycle of abuse.

He lied, cheated, ignored my calls and texts, called me names, broke my cell phone, threw my belongings off our balcony, and even locked me out of our apartment. For years, I believed him when he told me it was my fault.

The Moment I Knew I Had to Leave

One morning, while blow-drying my hair, he appeared around the corner with scissors. I was terrified. He screamed at me, grabbed the dryer, and cut the cord.

Later that day, at a bridal shower, after a few glasses of bubbly, I confided in my best friends that I felt trapped and helpless. With their love and support, we kicked off our heels, left the shower, and stormed up to my apartment. Together, we packed my belongings into their cars.

It was over. Don’t ever mess with a girl’s blow dryer!

Rebuilding Love and Self-Worth

Rebuilding my story around love took time and dedication. But in that moment, I raised my standards instantly.

I beg you to:

• Trust your gut
• See your worth
• Leave an abusive relationship

Will I ever be a bride? Yes, if I choose. And you have that choice too.

Why Women Are Choosing Themselves First

Women are asked why we marry later in life. My theory: we think for ourselves. We listen to our hearts, use our voices, and no longer conform to outdated gender roles.

Having the right to choose allows us to select partners who are healthy and loving. Your left-hand ring finger does not define you. Your wisdom, boundaries, and choices do.

Help and Resources for Abusive Relationships

If you are in an abusive relationship, you are not alone. Please reach out for help:

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

How to Be

Your Own Best Friend and Cultivate Self-Love

A Morning of Gratitude and Connection

We greeted each other with love in the muted darkness of 6 a.m. We stared into each other’s eyes and exchanged deep, authentic compliments. On our stroll to Ojai’s hipster-est coffee shop, I couldn’t help but notice—damn, this girl is sexy.

I felt a little red with shame at the thought, but quickly reminded myself: I’m only human, and this girl deserves to be acknowledged—for her lake-blue eyes, her bangin’ eyebrows, and her voluptuous figure. The confidence in her sway was enough to make heads turn.

We talked about silly things, deep things, sad things, and laughed at absurdities—but mostly, we walked in silence, relishing sweet nothingness and the crisp, bright air of early spring.

Gratitude Starts With Yourself

I am so grateful to have her as a best friend, I thought repeatedly. But I am even more grateful to call myself my best friend.

To gaze into my own eyes, compliment myself, notice what I love about myself, and shut down the negative chatter. I know I will be with myself for the whole journey of life, so I better make this relationship a damn good one.

Shutting Down Negative Self-Talk

Being your own best friend is a journey. The first—and hardest—step is silencing the negative self-talk we learn early on.

Imagine saying to your friends what you say to yourself:
"Wow, what a waste of a cute dress. Your skin looks terrible. Have you gained a couple of pounds? Cover that up. It’s too bad you don’t have the personality to make up for your looks."

Yeeeah…you wouldn’t have friends after that. But these are the words we often say to ourselves every day. No matter who you are, you don’t deserve that treatment from anyone—especially yourself.

Speak to Yourself With Love and Kindness

Say to yourself what you would say to the person you love the most. Say the things you would say to your pets. Say the words you needed to hear when you were young and didn’t.

Give yourself compliments every single day. Recognize your beauty, your humor, your strength, and your confidence.

Self-Love in Action

Being your own best friend isn’t just about self-talk—but it’s a good 90% of the battle. From there, flows a fulfilling relationship with yourself:

• Practice self-care
• Do what brings you joy
• Celebrate your body and desires

Your relationship with yourself sets the foundation for your happiness, confidence, and fulfillment in life.

Dieting vs Lifestyle Change:

Which One Works for You?

For as long as I can remember, diets have been a part of society—a tool to shape our bodies after indulging in the foods we love. But what if there’s a different approach? A lifestyle change creates a balance between the foods we crave and the nutrients our bodies need. There are pros and cons to both, and everyone has their own opinion on what works best for them.

What Is Dieting?

There have been more fad diets than I can count, some sticking around for generations. The thing about dieting is that it’s temporary—designed for short-term results. Once you achieve your goal, old eating habits often creep back in, along with the weight you lost.

The biggest benefit? Dieting is short-term and goal-focused, giving you quick results without a long-term commitment. But it’s not permanent, and the lifestyle benefits gained during a diet can fade once the diet ends.

What Is a Lifestyle Change?

Unlike dieting, a lifestyle change is personalized and long-term. There’s no “one size fits all.” Some people may need to eliminate dairy, gluten, or soy, while others modify portions or meal timing to suit their bodies.

A sustainable lifestyle change creates a new relationship with food. Over time, cravings for certain foods diminish, and you discover healthier ways to enjoy the flavors you love. This approach makes achieving your desired look and feeling permanent, because it’s maintained consistently.

Benefits of Lifestyle Changes

• Long-term results: Your body adapts to new habits, and changes are sustained.
• Improved health: Reducing foods that cause lethargy or digestive issues improves energy, skin, and mood.
• Mindful eating: You learn to listen to your body, make informed choices, and support it with the nutrients it truly needs.

It’s important to consult a healthcare professional before making any major changes to ensure your choices support your body’s health and wellbeing.

My Personal Experience: Diets vs Lifestyle

I’ve experienced both approaches. Diets have helped me lose weight quickly, but I often gained it back, along with issues like acne, bloating, heartburn, and digestion problems.

Lifestyle changes, however, feel empowering. I’ve discovered what my body does not tolerate, explored new ways to enjoy my favorite foods, and replaced old habits with healthier routines. Day by day, I’m enjoying how my body feels without depriving myself—something I never thought possible.

The Takeaway

Whether you prefer dieting or lifestyle changes, the key is consistency, self-awareness, and listening to your body. Give yourself the love and care you deserve by making choices that support your long-term health and happiness.

What about you? Do you prefer diets or lifestyle changes? Share your experience or keep the conversation going on Instagram @ambersabourin.

Lots of love,
Amberly

How to Transform Anxiety and Anger Through Perspective:

A Simple Yet Powerful Question

I am admittedly quick to both anger and anxiety. It’s something I’ve been working on for most of my life. I started writing as soon as I could write, added yoga at 8, meditation at 14, and spiritual exploration at 18. Even now, I continue exploring—not just spirituality, but the resilience of the soul.

Over the years, I’ve tried countless methods and practices, and one truth has become clear: there is profound value in complex simplicity. One of my favorite tools comes from a question I learned in The Tablets of Life by Danielle R. Hoffman:

“What is right about what is not right, right now?”

At first, it seems almost impossible. But when you view it through the lens of energy, it starts to make sense. Every person, situation, and thing contains both perfection and imperfection simultaneously. Energy, which cannot be created or destroyed, inherently holds both because it has infinite potential to transform.

So I ask you: what is right about what is not right in your life, right now?

If you can identify what is going right—even amidst chaos—you move forward with confidence, knowing that you can transform the rest. It’s a paradox: the shift happens entirely within your perspective. With hope and gratitude, you begin to see the world with clarity and optimism.

The beauty of this practice is that your transformation doesn’t require external circumstances. The chaos around you becomes irrelevant because your happiness comes from within. That old adage—“everything you need is within you”—is surprisingly true.

This shift may feel simple, but life often makes it seem impossible. Daily stressors and mental chatter can make you feel trapped in a storm. Falling back on this question has dramatically shortened the time it takes me to pull myself out of negative mental loops.

I don’t know if there’s a magical point where we’re immune to negativity—maybe that’s nirvana. What I do know is that the more you practice pulling yourself out, the more resilient your soul becomes. And resilience is everything: the stronger your soul, the more love, joy, and happiness it can hold.

Cholesterol Myths Busted:

What You Really Need to Know About Heart Health

Are You Confused About Cholesterol?

The media obsession over cholesterol has left many of us unsure about what’s true. Let’s break down some common myths and uncover the science behind this vital molecule.

Myth #1: All Cholesterol Is the Same

Cholesterol is more than just a number in your blood. It plays a crucial role in your cells and nervous system. Instead of focusing on quantity, it’s the type of cholesterol—“good” HDL or “bad” LDL—that really matters. Your body’s function depends on this balance.

Myth #2: Cholesterol Is the Enemy

For decades, cholesterol has been labeled the “bad guy,” leading to the rise of margarine and low-fat trends. But cholesterol is essential for producing sex hormones, vitamin D, and bile for digesting fats. Research shows that inflammation and other factors are more accurate markers for heart disease than cholesterol alone.

Myth #3: Eating Cholesterol Raises Your Blood Levels

Most cholesterol in your blood is produced by your liver. Your diet can influence liver production, but what you eat isn’t the sole determinant of your blood cholesterol. A sluggish liver may contribute to dysregulated cholesterol levels, which is why nutrition protocols often focus on supporting liver function.

Myth #4: Lower Cholesterol Is Always Better

Extremely low cholesterol can lead to neurological issues because your nervous system relies on cholesterol for proper structure and function. Balance, not extremes, is the key.

Myth #5: Medications Are the Only Solution

Statins can lower LDL cholesterol but may not effectively raise HDL. Medications also come with side effects. Lifestyle changes—like eating 8–10 servings of fruits and vegetables daily, improving fat quality, and exercising—can significantly impact cholesterol levels. Always consult your doctor before adjusting any prescribed medication.

How to Support Heart Health Naturally

• Prioritize a variety of colorful fruits and vegetables.
• Replace processed fats with healthy fats like olive oil, avocado, and nuts.
• Exercise regularly to boost HDL cholesterol.
• Support liver function with nutrient-rich foods and hydration.

Bottom Line

Heart health and cholesterol are complex, and science is still uncovering the full picture. In the meantime, you can take actionable steps with nutrition, lifestyle, and liver care to support balanced cholesterol levels and overall wellness.

How I Learned to Love My Body:

Embracing Every Inch with Pride

The Body I’ve Always Loved

For as long as I can remember, I’ve cherished certain features—my perfectly shaped eyebrows, glowing eyes, and smile. Yet, like many of us, I’ve also struggled with insecurities: acne, saggy boobs, thick thighs, a pouched stomach, and “man hands.”

Everything shifted about a year ago. I realized I am the author of my body. I choose every day how I look, head to toe. And here’s the revelation: I can love my body exactly as it is, even while making changes I desire.

Loving My Body, Imperfections and All

Today, I embrace my body fully, at my heaviest weight, with pride:

• Acne: A reminder of my IUD, regulating my period.
• Curves: Defining my unique figure.
• Saggy boobs: Perfect because I don’t wear a bra.
• Thick thighs & calves: Built from childhood dancing and teen soccer.
• Pouched stomach: Symbol of my love for food—unashamed.
• Man hands: A tribute to my mother’s strength and resilience.

Every inch tells a story. Your body is a canvas, and every day you can either preserve it or add to it—cover lines, enhance curves, and change perspectives.

You Are the Artist of Your Body

Love it. Nurture it. Talk to it. Feed it. Feel it. Your body protects your mind and soul—treat it as the masterpiece it is. Self-expression flows through your body:

• Some days, sweats, UGGs, no makeup, hair up.
• Other days, polished, runway-ready, hair and makeup on point.
• Some days, a mix of casual and chic.

No matter the outfit, carry yourself with pride, love, and gratitude.

Confidence in Vulnerability

The ultimate moment of self-love? Naked in front of a partner. This is when I feel most proud: every inch of me authored, sexy, and confident. Loving yourself is magnetic—when you know your worth, it radiates to the world.

Glow Through Self-Love

Self-love isn’t just a feeling; it’s a way of walking through life. When you fully embrace your body, you glow. Every choice, every outfit, every movement becomes an expression of your pride and authenticity.

Let’s inspire each other to embrace every inch of ourselves.

@ambersabourin.

How to Sleep Better:

Tips for Restful Nights and High-Quality Sleep

Why Sleep Quality Matters More Than You Think

Our quality of sleep has a major impact on daily function, energy levels, and mental clarity. Sleep isn’t just important for your body—it’s vital for your mind, alertness, and overall health.

Lack of sleep is no joke. Chronic sleep deprivation can contribute to serious health issues, including diabetes, certain cancers, heart disease, slower metabolism, weight gain, hormone imbalance, and inflammation. Sleep also affects your mood, memory, and decision-making.

And here’s a kicker: poor sleep may even negate the benefits of your workouts, leaving all that exercise effort less effective.

How Sleep Supports Your Body and Mind

Sleep is fundamental for three critical functions:

1. Detoxifying Your Brain: While awake, your brain accumulates waste. Sleep allows the detoxification process to occur efficiently.
2. Enhancing Learning and Memory: Your brain consolidates memories and strengthens learning while you sleep.
3. Recovering Your Immune System: Sleep boosts your body’s natural defense mechanisms, helping you fight infections and recover faster.

While adults generally need 7–9 hours of sleep per night, the quality of sleep is just as important. Some people, like Buddhist monks, can thrive on as little as 4 hours, highlighting that deep, restorative sleep matters more than total hours.

Common Sleep Struggles to Ask Yourself

Ask yourself:

• Are you having a hard time sleeping through the night?
• Do you feel like you’re “running on stress hormones” all day?
• Have you earned the title of “light sleeper”?

Recognizing your sleep struggles is the first step toward improving your restorative sleep.

Tips to Improve Your Sleep Quality

Here are practical strategies to help you catch high-quality Z’s:

1. Get Sunlight and Exercise During the Day

Natural light and physical activity signal to your brain that it’s daytime, helping you feel alert now and wind down naturally in the evening.

2. Stick to a Consistent Sleep Schedule

Try going to bed and waking up at the same time every day. Weekends may throw you off, but a few weeks of consistency will help your body adapt and improve sleep quality.

3. Balance Your Blood Sugar

Eat fiber-rich, unprocessed foods during the day. A small fruit before bed can help your liver regulate blood sugar and prevent nighttime dips.

4. Limit Caffeine and Added Sugar After Noon

Even your afternoon chai latte or mochaccino can keep your mind active at night. Cutting these stimulants after 12 PM improves your chances of falling asleep naturally.

5. Create a Relaxing Bedtime Routine

Start winding down 1 hour before bed. Dim artificial lights, read a book, or take a warm bath with a few drops of lavender essential oil. Establishing a routine signals your body that it’s time to rest.

Herbal Remedies That Can Support Sleep

Herbal teas and extracts are gentle ways to promote relaxation:

• Valerian Root + Lemon Balm Tea (1:1 mixture) – supports relaxation and sleep.
• Passion Flower – reduces anxiety and encourages restful sleep.

Tip: Consult a holistic practitioner if you’re taking daily medications before adding herbal remedies.

Sleep affects virtually every aspect of your health, from mental clarity to physical recovery. By implementing these strategies, you can improve your sleep quality, boost energy, and support long-term health.

Start small, experiment with routines, and watch yourself catch more restful nights—your mind and body will thank you.

How to Love Yourself:

A Practical Guide to Cultivating Self-Love

Why Loving Yourself Feels So Hard

Not long ago, a client came into my office frustrated and asked:

“I KNOW I need to love myself more, but HOW the hell do I do that?”

She wasn’t the first, and she certainly won’t be the last.

As we celebrate a month filled with messages about love, it’s worth asking: what does it truly mean to love oneself?

I like to think of LOVE as a verb—a set of actions we take to prioritize the best interest of another (or Self). The feeling of love is just the byproduct. Yet, we often confuse the feeling with love itself. Without action, love cannot grow internally.

Love Is Action: Why Doing Matters

In couples counseling, I hear partners say they feel a lack of passion. When I ask what they do together, the answer is often: “We don’t have time.”

Love, like exercise, produces rewarding feelings—but it’s not always easy. Taking steps toward someone else is hard enough, but taking steps toward ourselves can feel even more challenging.

As women, we’re often taught to take care of others, leaving our own needs neglected. Over time, this can lead to depletion, resentment, and ineffective coping strategies.

How Well Do You Know Yourself?

Self-love begins with self-awareness. Using mindfulness—paying non-judgmental attention to thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations—you can listen deeply to your heart’s desires.

Think of self-love as planting a seed of intention. But like any seed, it needs the right environment to grow:

• Sunshine: Positive experiences and self-compassion
• Water: Consistent attention and care
• Healthy soil: Freedom from negative self-talk, self-sabotage, or neglect

Ask yourself: Are you creating the conditions for your intention to blossom?

Self-Discipline as an Act of Self-Love

Discipline isn’t about punishment—it’s about curious study of the Self. By observing our coping strategies and old habits, we can:

• Identify patterns that no longer serve us
• Replace them with nurturing, healthy behaviors
• Make choices that reflect true self-care, not just temporary relief

The goal is knowledge and understanding of your needs, beyond bubble baths and scented candles.

Practical Steps to Cultivate Self-Love

Here’s how to put self-love into action:

1. Identify Physical Patterns

• Write down the physical cues that appear during cravings or stress
• Recognize how your body signals unmet needs

2. Create a Nurturing Actions List

• List 3–10 small acts that make you feel loved and cared for
• Schedule at least one of these actions today and throughout the week

3. Monitor Your Focus

• Observe what you naturally focus on during cravings
• Choose instead from your nurturing actions list to redirect attention

4. Rewrite Your Inner Dialogue

• Identify recurring negative self-talk
• Write a new story or affirmation to read daily
• Replace old language patterns with empowering, supportive words

Putting It All Together

If love is a verb, what actions can you take to care for yourself? How can you create the best inner environment for your intentions to grow and flourish?

Self-love is intentional, consistent, and actionable. By cultivating mindfulness, self-discipline, and small nurturing behaviors, you can transform your internal environment into fertile ground for love, growth, and fulfillment.

How Dance Helps Women

Reclaim Their Bodies and Empower Themselves

Dancing as Embodiment and Liberation

To go dance is to be fully embodied, and somehow to forget our bodies all at once. Dance allows us to connect with our energy, release judgment, and step into our sacred feminine power.

A Childhood Witness to Sacred Feminine Energy

When I was fourteen, my mother began belly dancing. She would return from errands with bags overflowing with hip scarves, beaded hair medallions, zils, and velvet bras dripping with coins.

Soon, she danced at Moroccan restaurants, fully alive, her hips and tummy folds moving in rhythm with tribal drums. Her body expressed a shakti energy I would come to understand as sacred feminine power.

I was mesmerized by her troupe—women with white hair falling to their elbows, bodies like mother earth, and the carefree energy of a child. And they all smiled knowingly, proud yet sly. I thought: This is what it means to be a woman.

Finding My Own Expression Through Dance

I started dancing too—musical theater, jazz, contemporary—but my truest expression happened alone at home. Feet stomping, hands exploring, eyes closed, I entered a sacred place where:

• Every cell felt connected
• The boundary between body and earth blurred
• Empowerment replaced negative self-talk

Being present in my body through dance made all critical thoughts about my physical “flaws” vanish, leaving only awe at what my body could do.

Dance as a Lifelong Practice

At 30, I can let dance take over even in public, unbothered by body insecurities. I feel more womanly, grounded, and free.

Recent inspirations—twerking, lap dances, shaking what my belly-dancin’ mama gave me—have deepened my connection to my body. What I once dismissed as “not spiritual” now feels transcendent and empowering.

The Message for All Women

I yearn to shout:

“It’s OK to express yourself! Take what society has shamed you for, and empower yourself with it!”

If women everywhere danced freely, eyes closed and feet stomping, perhaps we would all learn to embrace our bodies and celebrate what it means to be a woman.

Who Am I?

A Journey of Self-Discovery and Personal Growth

My Past Identity: Defined by Degrees and Jobs

Prior to a year ago, I defined myself by the degree I did not have and where I worked. My introductions were carefully sugar-coated to impress others:

“Hey I’m Amberly, I am a retail manager at a jewelry store. I went to university but it just wasn’t for me… I want to be my own boss and live my dreams.”

The truth? I felt like a failure. I had dropped out of university three times because I lacked passion for my studies. I called myself stupid and clueless, convinced I was headed nowhere.

Working as a key holder for Pandora Jewelry, I was ashamed of my retail job—even though it was all I had. I glorified my role while knowing I was capable of much more.

The Turning Point: Travel and Reflection

Feeling lost and frustrated with my identity, I quit my job, packed a backpack, and traveled to a new continent with my best friend for two months.

Coming home, I accepted a promotion—but it wasn’t the missing piece I thought it would be. The real transformation came from introspection and self-discovery, not external titles or roles.

Who I Am Today: Defined by Goals, Ambitions, and Values

Today, I define myself by my goals, ambitions, and personal traits:

“Hi, I’m Amberly, an inspiring and loving woman on a journey to become a public figure. I am motivated to empower others to live a life they truly love.”

I know what I want from life, who I want in my space, and the kind of partner and family I aspire to create. I am loving, joyful, and intentional in the people, places, and experiences I surround myself with.

Cultivating Self-Love and Motivation

I am grounded, whole, and complete. I have dreams, goals, and action plans to make them a reality. I show up for myself daily because I understand what’s at stake if I don’t pursue my vision—my dream life.

You—the reader—inspire me daily to keep showing up for myself. By seeking the bright side in every situation, no matter how dark it may seem, we create a life full of adventure, beauty, and opportunity.

Discovering Who You Want to Be

The key lesson I learned: it wasn’t about discovering who I was—it was about discovering who I wanted to be and committing to becoming that woman.

Your journey is just as important. Reflect on who you want to become and what it will take to show up for yourself every day.

Join the Conversation

I want to know what’s on your mind! Reach out to me on Instagram at @ambersabourin and share your thoughts. Let’s explore this journey of growth together.

Love always,
Amberly

Kurdish Women Warriors:

A Legacy of Strength, Courage, and Equality

My Kurdish Heritage: Lessons From My Mother

My mother is an Iranian Kurd through her father’s side. She left Iran during the 1979 Revolution, carrying only the stories of her family and ancestors. From a young age, her father taught her survival skills—shooting rifles at nine, handling scorpions, and respecting nature.

“Aim and shoot,” she would tell me during a toy rifle game at Knott’s Berry Farm, passing down the lessons of precision and courage.

Her stories painted a picture of Kurdish ancestors living harmoniously in the mountains, teaching resilience, independence, and a deep appreciation for nature.

Kurdish Women: Trained in Defense and Empowerment

Growing up, I admired that my mother and other Middle Eastern women were trained in self-defense—skills often reserved for men. In regions where women’s rights are limited, Kurdish women defy societal norms, proving strength and capability.

The Rise of ISIS and the Peshmerga Women Soldiers

In 2014, ISIS made global headlines for brutality: beheading journalists, enslaving women and girls, and enforcing ultra-conservative laws. In response, Kurdish Peshmerga women soldiers emerged as a formidable force on the front lines in Iraq and Syria.

The name “Peshmerga” translates to “those who face death,” and it’s estimated that 30–40% of combatants in Kurdistan are women. They fight alongside men, shoulder to shoulder, demonstrating that women are just as capable in combat, earning respect and fear from their enemies.

Gender Equality Through Action

Kurdish women soldiers don’t just fight; they promote gender equality by example. While men and women sleep in separate camps, training and combat are often shared, fostering respect and equality.

Their impact is profound: Kurdish men learn to respect women who can fight, changing societal attitudes in a region where gender equality is desperately needed.

Stories of Courage and Sacrifice

Two powerful examples illustrate the bravery of Kurdish women:

• Joanna Palani, an Iranian Kurd from Copenhagen, studied politics and philosophy before leaving her home to fight for the Peshmerga. Like my mother, she fired her first rifle at age nine.
• Asia Ramazan Antar, dubbed the “Kurdish Angelina Jolie,” became a symbol of the feminist struggle at just 19. She joined the YPJ at 16, defending villages against ISIS and expertly wielding a Russian-made KM machine gun. Tragically, she died stopping an attack by three suicide car bombers.

These women fight not for fame, but for homeland, justice, and survival, challenging patriarchal norms and inspiring generations.

Fighting ISIS and Patriarchy

For ISIS fighters, dying at the hands of a woman is considered humiliating according to Sharia law. Kurdish women soldiers know this—and they use it as psychological leverage on the battlefield.

Despite their bravery, these women should not be romanticized or sexualized. They are soldiers defending their people, often stepping in when governments fail to protect them.

Kurdish Women Soldiers: Allies of Humanity

Kurdish troops have been crucial allies to the U.S. in the fight against ISIS. Yet, political decisions—like the U.S. abandoning Kurdish fighters in Syria—are seen as betrayals of those who shed blood defending not just their homeland, but humanity itself.

These women wage a war against ISIS, oppression, and patriarchal systems, embodying courage, resilience, and empowerment.

How to Love Your Body

When You’ve Spent Years at War With It

A raw journey from self-criticism to self-acceptance — and why loving your body is an inside job.

The Question That Started It All

How do you love your body as part of your self?
I scroll past endless social media posts: women of all colors, shapes, sizes, and textures, loving themselves proudly. And I’m over here thinking… how?

When my sister, the editor of this magazine, asked me to share my body journey, I hesitated. I’ve never felt my story was extraordinary. And honestly, I never felt safe talking about my insecurities — especially when you’re naturally thin. Try saying you don’t like your body when you “can eat anything” and see how people respond.

The Years of War With My Body

For 15 years, I counted calories (read: starved myself), restricted eating, over-exercised, and abused laxatives. My goal was always “perfection” — which, for me, meant skinny.
I lived with body dysmorphia, shame, and endless guilt. Guilt for eating “badly,” guilt for skipping workouts, guilt for treating my body with such hatred. And no — hearing “but you’re so skinny” didn’t fix any of it.

The Turning Point: Why I Started Exercising

Three years ago, I began working out. Honestly? It started from insecurity — aesthetics first, health second (or maybe third). My now-husband said it was important to build a fit and healthy family. I was in my late 20s, my metabolism slowing, and I thought: Okay, I’ll start.

And then… I kept going.
For the first time in my life, I felt strong. I began to see exercise not just as a tool for appearance, but as a way to feel empowered in my body.

The Parallel Journey: Body + Mind

Around the same time, I dove into self-development workshops. I confronted old wounds, dismantled destructive patterns, and started building something new — in both body and mind.

I realized:

• Working on my body was another way to heal.
• Strength training wasn’t just building muscle; it was building the vessel that carried me.

From Loaft to Lifter

Last year, I named my journey From Loaft to Lifter — because that’s exactly what happened.
From lazy and self-destructive… to lifting weights and lifting my own spirit. From taking my body for granted… to taking my life into my own hands.

The Work Isn’t Over

I’m not “fully healed.”
Some days I love my body. Other days, I criticize it. On a recent trip to Africa, I counted the days since my last workout and came home feeling bloated, 5 lbs heavier, already thinking about dieting.

But here’s the difference now:
I notice the thought… and I eat the pizza anyway.

What I’m Choosing Now

• Listening to my body instead of punishing it
• Honoring its strength and abilities
• Extending to myself the compassion I give to others
• Remembering my worth has nothing to do with my appearance (and neither does yours)

Your Turn

I’m not here with all the answers. I’m here as your partner in this journey, asking:
How do you love your body as part of your self?

Let’s keep the conversation going — connect with me on Instagram @fromloafttolifter.

7 Powerful Benefits

of Coconut Oil for Skin, Hair, and Health

From glowing skin to luscious hair and even cooking — here’s why coconut oil is one of my all-time favorite natural products (and some fun, personal tips you won’t find anywhere else).

1. Coconut Oil for Anti-Aging and Skin Protection

Coconut oil is a powerful natural antioxidant that helps protect, heal, and nourish skin. It can:

• Stimulate collagen production
• Reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles
• Protect from UV damage (which can lead to skin cancer, sunspots, and premature aging)

I love using it as an anti-wrinkle, anti-aging treatment — it’s simple, natural, and smells amazing.

2. Coconut Oil for Hair Strength, Shine, and Growth

Coconut oil is the richest natural source of medium-chain fatty acids (MCFAs), known for their antibacterial and antimicrobial benefits. It can:

• Strengthen hair and improve elasticity
• Reduce protein loss and damage
• Deeply moisturize dry hair and scalp

My go-to hair mask tip:
On dry hair, apply a generous amount of coconut oil from roots to ends. Wrap in a plastic bag or shower cap overnight, then wash in the morning. Hello, shiny, soft hair!

3. Anti-Inflammatory and Antibacterial Benefits

Consuming coconut oil can help reduce inflammation in the body. When applied to the skin, it:

• Fights bacteria and fungus
• Protects against acne-causing pathogens
• Softens skin with intense hydration

As one study says, “Coconut oil can actually inhibit the growth of harmful micro-organisms that wreak havoc on your skin.”

4. Coconut Oil as a Moisturizer, Exfoliant, and Makeup Remover

If you’re looking for a natural skincare multitasker, coconut oil is it. It works as a:

• Deep moisturizer for skin and scalp
• Gentle exfoliant to remove dead skin cells
• Pore cleanser that removes excess oil and dirt
• Natural makeup remover — even for waterproof mascara

5. Coconut Oil for Eczema, Scars, and Skin Repair

Coconut oil boosts collagen production, helping:

• Heal eczema
• Fade scars over time
• Support skin regeneration

It’s my go-to for soothing irritated skin.

6. Cooking with Coconut Oil (Gluten-Free & Vegan-Friendly)

Cold-pressed coconut oil is 100% natural, gluten-free, and perfect for high-heat cooking. You can also:

• Use it as a butter substitute in vegan recipes
• Add flavor and healthy fats to meals

7. Coconut Oil for Nursing Mothers

A lesser-known benefit — nipple soothing for nursing moms. It can heal and protect delicate skin naturally.

Lifehack recipe for a natural nipple cream:
Melt together 2 tsp cocoa butter, 1 tsp olive oil, and 2 tsp coconut oil. Mix well and apply as needed.

My Personal Coconut Oil Confession

Coconut oil isn’t just practical — it’s part of my self-care (and sometimes my sex life). If I know I’m about to have a hot night, I’ll apply a little extra between my cheeks and around my lady parts. Why? Let’s just say… it makes everything smell and taste extra sweet.

Why Coconut Oil Will Always Be in My Home

Not everyone will see the same results, but for me, coconut oil is a beauty, health, and kitchen staple. I swear by it for my face, hair, and body — and I’m always finding new uses.

How to Face Cancer With

Courage, Faith, and Unshakable Strength

"When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears." – Tony Robbins

Cancer: More Than a Diagnosis

Cancer can mean many things — for some, it’s simply a horoscope sign. For others, it’s the life-changing diagnosis given to them or a loved one.
Most of us know someone — a family member, friend, or acquaintance — who has been affected by this disease.

According to Cancer.gov, cancer is "diseases in which abnormal cells divide without control and can invade nearby tissues. Cancer cells can also spread to other parts of the body through the blood and lymph systems."

While those words can be intimidating, the story you tell yourself after hearing them matters more than you might think.

Shifting the Mindset: From Fear to Warrior Spirit

A cancer diagnosis can be earth-shattering. But what if we reframed it?
What if, instead of seeing cancer only as a threat, we saw it as a challenge — one that calls on a warrior mentality and helps us re-prioritize what truly matters?

It’s a tough battle ahead, yes. But you are equipped with the greatest weapon of all: faith.

Doctors are there to help, but you are also part of the fight — whether as a patient or as the support system for someone you love.

The Hidden Strength Cancer Can Reveal

No one wishes for cancer, but many survivors discover something unexpected:

• Strength they didn’t know existed
• A deeper appreciation for life’s smallest moments
• An unshakable belief in their resilience

If you are surviving cancer, fighting cancer, or supporting someone through it, every emotion you feel is valid. Bad days will come — but so will days filled with gratitude, laughter, and hope.

Fighting Cancer With Faith, Gratitude, and Grit

Your light was made to shine — even in the darkest of times.
Here’s how to channel that inner warrior:

• Allow yourself to feel: Pain, fear, hope — they all have a place in the healing process.
• Focus on gratitude: Even small moments can bring immense strength.
• Visualize your victory: See yourself healthy, whole, and thriving.

"Courage doesn’t mean you’re not afraid. Courage means you don’t let fear stop you." – Unknown

Final Word: You Can Kick Cancer’s Ass

Cancer is a beast — but you are stronger. With faith, courage, and the right mindset, you can fight with everything you’ve got and still sparkle, shine, and glow.

You were created for this moment. Let your light burn brighter than fear.

How Solo Travel

and Self-Acceptance Transformed My Life

My Experience with Body Image Abroad

As a singer, I spent five months performing in nightclubs across China (2018–2019), followed by two months of solo travel in Thailand and Vietnam. During my time in China, I received a text from my boss demanding I lose 15 pounds in 10 days to keep my job. At 115 pounds, I was told I was “obese.” While I understood cultural differences in body perception, the pressure was overwhelming.

I lost the weight to keep my job, but upon returning to the U.S., I realized how differently people treated me. I attracted a crowd that complimented my appearance, yet I had never felt more unhappy or insecure. This experience revealed how distorted perceptions of beauty can be—and that changing your appearance doesn’t automatically lead to self-acceptance.

Learning to Embrace Authentic Beauty

Living in China highlighted global beauty standards that often lack individuality. I spent so much time on makeup, considering cosmetic procedures like a nose job, but seeing the many similar faces around me helped me appreciate my unique features.

Since then, I’ve simplified my routine, sometimes going weeks bare-faced, which feels liberating. I often receive more compliments when I’m natural. Without social media or streaming services, I was free from constant comparison and marketing pressures, helping me focus on self-awareness and authenticity.

The Power of Solo Travel for Personal Growth

Solo travel taught me resilience and self-discovery. Breaking my phone in Thailand left me technology-free for four days, and those became some of the most memorable days of my trip. My journey inspired others to take their first steps into solo travel, proving that personal growth often happens outside your comfort zone.

Daily Habits That Support Mental Health and Confidence

I’ve developed daily practices that help me stay grounded and thrive:

• Writing three pages every morning to reflect and set intentions.
• Committing to self-care and mental health accountability.
• Embracing body positivity and self-love while maintaining health.

These habits have supported my growth as a singer, songwriter, and person.

What This Means for You

• Changing your appearance doesn’t equal happiness—self-acceptance does.
• Solo travel fosters independence, confidence, and perspective.
• Small daily habits like journaling can dramatically impact mental health.
• Embracing your uniqueness is empowering in a world obsessed with comparison.

My experiences abroad shaped me into who I am today. While I still occasionally struggle with body image, I’ve learned to discuss it openly and celebrate growth. Solo travel and self-reflection have taught me resilience, confidence, and joy.

Have you ever taken a solo trip that transformed your perspective? Share your story and inspire others!

—Emma Negrete

What No One Tells You

About Postpartum Depression: A Mom’s Honest Journey

From mom guilt to scary thoughts and lost identity — here’s how I survived postpartum depression and built a supportive village for new mothers.

The Invisible Struggle of Postpartum

When a woman becomes pregnant, congratulations pour in and gifts abound. But once the baby arrives, everyone disappears. While new moms are adjusting to sleepless nights and a transformed reality, support often fades — leaving them to navigate postpartum challenges alone.

It truly takes a village not just to raise a child, but to help a new mom adjust to motherhood in a healthy way. Every woman’s postnatal experience is unique, but after my own battle with postpartum depression, I feel called to break the stigma and increase awareness.

My Introduction to Postpartum Depression

My mother first asked, “Are you experiencing postpartum depression?” I was offended at the time, but her question lingered. Later, I researched the signs online: difficulty bonding with your baby, extreme sadness, feelings of worthlessness, and guilt. I didn’t feel those applied to me. I was a stay-at-home mom, exclusively breastfeeding, and deeply bonded with my daughter.

But as time passed, I realized I barely recognized myself. My life had become all about motherhood, and I hated it. Thoughts of harming myself or my baby occasionally surfaced. I felt isolated, afraid to speak out. Journaling became my lifeline. One night, I shared a passage from my journal with my partner — he was shocked at the depth of my thoughts and urged me to seek support.

The Emotional Rollercoaster of Postpartum

I loved being a mother but often didn’t enjoy it. I resented my partner, overwhelmed by responsibilities, and obsessed with my postpartum body. Stretch marks, sleepless nights, and “mom guilt” created a cycle of self-betrayal. I felt trapped, miserable, depressed, and anxious — yet afraid to admit it.

The turning point came when a friend shared a post from a Black doula who was candid about her own postpartum struggles. The comment section was full of other moms validating their experiences. For the first time, I felt normal. I realized I was not alone.

From Surviving to Supporting: The Birth of The Goddess Garden

I began sharing my journey online and eventually created The Goddess Garden, a brand to educate, support, and normalize postpartum challenges. I became the friend I wished I had: visiting new moms, helping with dishes, preparing meals, or simply watching the baby so she could shower. I checked in intentionally, asking how she felt and reminding her that it’s okay not to be okay.

Learning to Be Gentle With Myself

Today, with a 2-year-old and a 4-month-old, my postpartum experience is different but still challenging. I breathe through scary thoughts, communicate openly with my partner, and treat my body with compassion. I’ve realized that my postpartum journey wasn’t just a struggle — it was a calling to educate, support, and shift the conversation surrounding motherhood.

Ghosting in Dating:

Why People Vanish Without a Word

And Then He Vanished: My Ghosting Experience

And then he vanished. Without saying a word. As if the past two months meant nothing. As if his whispered promises were meaningless. Welcome to the world of ghosting… it fucking sucks!

What Is Ghosting?

For those unfamiliar, ghosting is the act of abruptly cutting someone out of your life—romantically or platonically—without explanation. It’s disrespectful, hurtful, and can be emotionally damaging, especially for those with preexisting self-esteem challenges.

Why Ghosting Is So Common Today

Apps like Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble make ghosting all too easy. Delete the match, and communication stops. No confrontation, no emotional discomfort for the ghoster. When the connection isn’t strong, the social consequences seem minimal.

But here’s the truth: ghosting is pathetic behavior, plain and simple.

Why Ghosting Bothers Me

Ghosting frustrates me for two reasons:

1. Avoiding honesty is cowardly. Am I really that intimidating that someone fears my reaction?
2. Assuming I can’t handle the truth is insulting. Rejection is a normal part of life—and yes, dating is full of it.

I’ve survived rejection. So can you.

The Excuses Ghosters Give

Sometimes, ghosters offer reasons like:

• “I started seeing someone else.”
• “My feelings got too strong.”

Translation: they didn’t want to be honest. Excuses are weak attempts to save face. The truth is simple: a clear, respectful rejection is better than vanishing.

Respectful Ways to Reject Someone

Next time you feel like ghosting, try honesty instead. Some examples:

• “Hey, I’ve enjoyed spending time together, but I don’t feel the romantic connection I’m looking for. I hope you understand. I’d love to stay friends if you’re interested.”
• “I think you’re great and have enjoyed getting to know you, but I don’t feel the emotional connection I’m hoping for. I wish you the best.”

The key: be authentic, gentle, and respectful.

Dating Is Hard — Don’t Make It Harder

Every person deserves honesty and respect. Ghosting might seem easier, but in reality, it’s cowardly and hurtful. Challenge yourself to be upfront—the results may surprise you.

Author: Talya, xox

5 Life-Changing Lessons

Every Woman Learns From Solo Travel

Solo traveling is often underrated, especially for women who worry about safety. But when done right, it can be a spectacular, once-in-a-lifetime experience. Before you go, research your destination carefully to ensure safety. Here are 5 lessons I learned from traveling solo during my gap year, along with tips to make the most of your adventure.

1. Confidence Grows Instantly

Traveling alone forces you to navigate new cities, ask for directions, and interact with locals. You learn the dos and don’ts—from which neighborhoods to explore to local etiquette and the best restaurants. Confidence is your first step to traveling safely and making your journey seamless.

2. Budgeting Skills Improve

Solo travel teaches money management like nothing else. From finding affordable flights and accommodations to cooking your own meals and exploring local markets, you learn to stretch your dollars wisely. Efficient transportation methods—like UberPool, tuk-tuks, and monorails—become your new best friends.

3. You Become More Assertive

Without anyone else influencing your choices, you learn to follow your instincts. Want to climb a mountain? Go for it. Prefer a quiet morning reading at a local café? Do it. Solo travel teaches you to plan for yourself and embrace your desires unapologetically.

4. Social Skills Skyrocket

Being alone makes you more approachable. From compliments on your outfit in Melbourne to strangers helping you in Thailand, solo travel creates opportunities to meet new people and learn from their cultures. Pro Tip: If you’re single, apps like Tinder can add a fun, safe twist to your social adventures.

5. Self-Awareness Deepens

Every decision is yours, and that level of responsibility heightens self-awareness. You notice what makes you feel good and what doesn’t. This clarity helps you eliminate negative habits and focus on positive ones—lessons that stick with you long after the trip ends.

When you combine these 5 life skills, solo travel becomes an unforgettable, transformative experience. So, when is your next solo adventure?