What if you stopped fighting your body and started listening to it?
These 7 steps show you how
The Secret Struggle of Body Hatred
Hating your body can become a dirty secret—one you carry silently.
Those thoughts about your body can pull you under like a whirlpool, robbing you of joy in the little and big moments of life.
I know this because I’ve been there.
I’ve also walked many of my clients out of this whirlpool of pain. Pain that distracts them from their children, passions, work, and play—focusing their attention on one thing alone: their bodies.
Why Body Hatred Isn’t Just “Your Fault”
Body hatred isn’t born in a vacuum. It’s culturally encouraged. We live in a world with so many forces conspiring against body acceptance.
But here’s what I know: when we change our relationship with our bodies, we reclaim our power. We become more creative, open, and joyful.
What follows is my roadmap. It’s unconventional. Some ideas may be brand new to you. But I promise—this works.
1. Squash the Dirty Secret
Secrets eat us alive from the inside.
Letting negative body thoughts swirl in your mind is poison.
Instead, speak or write them out with brutal honesty.
Example:
“I hate my stomach. Why is it so fat? Why do my arms look like this? I literally want to throw up when I look in the mirror.”
Get them out of your head. Talk to a therapist, a friend, a coach, or write them down. There’s freedom in releasing the thoughts you’ve kept locked up.
2. Become an Observer of Your Thoughts
Mindfulness means noticing your thoughts without becoming them.
Write them down. Look at the words on the page. Feel the distance between you and those thoughts.
You are not your thoughts—you are the one observing them.
3. Accept Before You Try to Love
When a negative thought appears, name it:
“I’m judging my body right now.”
“I do not like my body right now.”
This is acceptance—not resistance.
You don’t need to force “I love my body” if you don’t believe it. The truth, accepted without judgment, creates space for change.
4. Question the Fear Behind Acceptance
You might think:
“If I accept hating my body, won’t it make me hate it more?”
Close your eyes. Ask yourself:
“Can I know for certain that accepting my body hatred will make it worse?”
Acceptance isn’t giving up—it’s loosening the grip of the fight.
5. The Whirlpool Visualization
Visualize yourself fighting to escape a whirlpool.
Feel the exhaustion. Now imagine letting go—accepting the moment.
Notice what happens.
Often, acceptance is what carries you gently to shore.
6. Find the Deeper Gift
Ask:
“What is my relationship with my body here to teach me?”
Possible gifts:
- Learning to eat in a way that makes you feel good, not to please others.
- Practicing unconditional self-acceptance.
- Strengthening intuition and self-connection.
- Setting and honoring boundaries.
- Remembering you are worthy exactly as you are.
- Stepping into your full power.
7. Heal the Deeper Roots
For many, body hatred is tied to childhood wounds.
Inner child work and breathwork can reconnect you with the younger self who still feels fear or unworthiness—and remind her she is safe.
The Real Goal
Loving your body 100% of the time isn’t the point.
The goal is to change your relationship with the thoughts.
To respond with awareness, not as a victim.
That’s empowerment.
I’d love to hear your story.
Send me a message on Instagram @soulintheraw.
With love,
