How to Love Your Body
When You’ve Spent Years at War With It
A raw journey from self-criticism to self-acceptance — and why loving your body is an inside job.
The Question That Started It All
How do you love your body as part of your self?
I scroll past endless social media posts: women of all colors, shapes, sizes, and textures, loving themselves proudly. And I’m over here thinking… how?
When my sister, the editor of this magazine, asked me to share my body journey, I hesitated. I’ve never felt my story was extraordinary. And honestly, I never felt safe talking about my insecurities — especially when you’re naturally thin. Try saying you don’t like your body when you “can eat anything” and see how people respond.
The Years of War With My Body
For 15 years, I counted calories (read: starved myself), restricted eating, over-exercised, and abused laxatives. My goal was always “perfection” — which, for me, meant skinny.
I lived with body dysmorphia, shame, and endless guilt. Guilt for eating “badly,” guilt for skipping workouts, guilt for treating my body with such hatred. And no — hearing “but you’re so skinny” didn’t fix any of it.
The Turning Point: Why I Started Exercising
Three years ago, I began working out. Honestly? It started from insecurity — aesthetics first, health second (or maybe third). My now-husband said it was important to build a fit and healthy family. I was in my late 20s, my metabolism slowing, and I thought: Okay, I’ll start.
And then… I kept going.
For the first time in my life, I felt strong. I began to see exercise not just as a tool for appearance, but as a way to feel empowered in my body.
The Parallel Journey: Body + Mind
Around the same time, I dove into self-development workshops. I confronted old wounds, dismantled destructive patterns, and started building something new — in both body and mind.
I realized:
- Working on my body was another way to heal.
- Strength training wasn’t just building muscle; it was building the vessel that carried me.
From Loaft to Lifter
Last year, I named my journey From Loaft to Lifter — because that’s exactly what happened.
From lazy and self-destructive… to lifting weights and lifting my own spirit. From taking my body for granted… to taking my life into my own hands.
The Work Isn’t Over
I’m not “fully healed.”
Some days I love my body. Other days, I criticize it. On a recent trip to Africa, I counted the days since my last workout and came home feeling bloated, 5 lbs heavier, already thinking about dieting.
But here’s the difference now:
I notice the thought… and I eat the pizza anyway.
What I’m Choosing Now
- Listening to my body instead of punishing it
- Honoring its strength and abilities
- Extending to myself the compassion I give to others
- Remembering my worth has nothing to do with my appearance (and neither does yours)
Your Turn
I’m not here with all the answers. I’m here as your partner in this journey, asking:
How do you love your body as part of your self?
Let’s keep the conversation going — connect with me on Instagram @fromloafttolifter.
