Learning to Be Alone:

How Embracing Solitude Leads to Self-Discovery and Self-Love

Why Being Alone Is Hard—but Transformative

Being alone can feel especially hard when loneliness hits, but these moments can become a magical sanctuary of self-awareness and acceptance. Over time, embracing solitude fosters self-love—the foundation for a life that feels truly rich and vibrant.

It’s not easy. The process is vulnerable and uncomfortable, often bringing intense emotional release. Yet, embracing solitude is, in my experience, one of the most tangible ways to cultivate self-love.

My First Steps: Moving Across the Country

My journey started when I moved from a small California suburb to a suburb of Philadelphia for college. I didn’t know anyone, and my familiar privacy vanished when I shared a room with six other girls.

Being alone initially brought anxiety about what others thought. I coped by keeping my headphones in and staying busy, but eventually, I realized I didn’t actually know—or care—what others thought. Running errands and taking walks alone became manageable. The real challenge? Exploring new experiences on my own.

Trying New Experiences Solo

I began attending activities that none of my friends were interested in:

• Clubs and raves
• Night art markets
• Tango classes and surfing lessons
• Restaurants, both fancy and casual

Initially, my anxiety returned, but the more I challenged myself, the more I examined my fears. The shift wasn’t about other people’s opinions—it was about understanding the real source of my fear.

Turning Fear into a Companion

Over time, I personified my fear and anxiety as a part of myself I could converse with. Surprisingly, it wasn’t so bad. My fear was simply trying to protect me from rejection.

By accepting this part of myself, I lifted a huge emotional burden. Giving myself the love I had always sought from others allowed me to form deeper, healthier relationships. I no longer relied on external validation, making every connection more meaningful.

Building a Stronger Relationship With Yourself

Human connection is vital, but the most important relationship begins with yourself. By learning to understand, accept, and love myself, I now approach life with greater introspection and self-awareness.

I am still a work in progress, discovering more about myself every day. But embracing solitude has allowed me to cultivate resilience, self-love, and a deeper understanding of my mind and heart.