e all have the ability to be whoever we want to be. The problem is we let our fears hold us back. We adapt too easily to misery; to empty friendships, unloving relationships, disconnecting from ourselves. We get addicted to bad patterns of behaviour for the same reasons we get addicted to anything else – we are seeking to connect to something other than our self, fight off despair, fill a void. We get this idea in our head that “if I could just do/have/be XYZ then everything will be better”. We, as humans, have this reoccurring sense that something is missing. A feeling in your gut that you need more than what you have. That if you tick off some action, like eating some chocolate, getting a new job etc, you will feel better.
It’s a common scenario…
We live in a world of consumerism, where seeking something more becomes stimulus. We try to fill these voids with things. So, what happens is that instead of moving forward, we subconsciously allow our fears to take hold and the patterns of behaviour we’ve tried so hard to break keep rolling back around to grab us by the throat, and before we know it, that overwhelming sense of anxiety comes flooding to the surface. So, we give up on what or who we were becoming and we let it drag us back down because fighting back seems to hard.
But it is time to fight back.
It is time to learn that YOU are actually perfectly enough just as you are. And then the incredible thing about self-love is that once we learn that, we can work at being even better versions of ourselves and doing so from a place of love, not fear.
Self-love at its core is all about growth and evolution. Becoming better and better because you love yourself enough to honor yourself with that notion.
Of course, there are going to be times throughout your journey when you falter. You are human. It’s normal. We aren’t perfect. And that is the beautiful thing about us.
But, don’t be afraid to accept yourself as you are. Don’t be afraid to want more too. Self-love is a balancing act and one that you are always re-learning as life goes on. Just be sure you enjoy the journey.
By Lahnee Pavlovich (Sex Educator & Wellness Coach)