want you to have an amazing year ahead. How that looks kinda depends on you and where you are and on how willing you are to take charge of your life.
Life will happen around you, but how much it affects you and takes you off course is up to you!
Now you might be thinking: “Yeah, but you don’t know the year I’ve had!”
Well, that may be true, but we all have a story. But those things are not a function of who you are or what you are capable of. You are capable of great things.
Where are you headed?
Let’s say we decide to visit Nashville together, your journey and my journey are going to be different given where we start from and who we are. You wouldn’t berate yourself for how long it would take you to drive to Nashville if you were coming from Seattle versus I was coming from Toronto, would you? It’s farther from Seattle to Nashville. More km and more time required. We are driving different vehicles and on any given day we may have different amounts of time we can dedicate to driving.
Yet we often compare ourselves to others not knowing where they started from, how long they have been travelling, and maybe even if they are headed to the same place. We look over and judge. This often results in feeling depleted and reducing our desire to move forward towards our destination. It's almost an act of self-sabotage. This holds us back (an obstacle) from getting to where we most desire to be.
So let’s not do that okay? You have your journey and miles to go and it’s unique to you. Look for others as a source of support and inspiration but not for comparison.
At the end of 2020 as you reflect back on the year, how do you want to feel? Where did you end up? As you allow the feeling to spread throughout your body. Now turn around and see the path in front of you that takes you from that point in time all the way to the here and now.
As you see the path laid out, start to go down it and make note of the things you did and learned, the people you met, and the places you go. What feelings come up as you wander down this path? Where do you intend to go this year? And how do you intend to get there?
Intentions clarify direction and how we expend our energy.
Habits - What you do today matters!
Having an idea of where you want to go and the feeling you want to generate on the way is important. But the rubber meets the road with the things we do everyday/ week: our habits.
Habits are the defining factor in our success! Those little things you do everyday may seem inconsequential but they’re not.
From research we know:
◦ Make it easy
◦ Make it satisfying
Bring into your reality a clear, honest picture of what you are doing. Be honest. This isn’t about creating something else to beat yourself up about it. Acceptance of what is, is critical for change to happen. Stop pretending it’s not a big deal when it is!
Make a simple and satisfying commitment to yourself. Start small. Something you can commit to 100%! No exceptions. 100% is easier than 99%. Be sure it is something that you can do and you like/enjoy.
If you want to feel better in your body, one way may be to move your body more. If you hate the gym, don’t pick that. Do something you enjoy like dancing, walking, jogging, stretching, etc. There are a ton of options - try a few and see what you like most and stick to it.
I often say make it easy. Find something that you can do on your own, at home/work, with the fewest obstacles. The more obstacles the more chances to talk yourself into justifying not doing it. This is why dance parties in your living room are a great idea!
Consistency is key. Put out cues to remind you visually of your commitment.
If it is a morning walk, set an alarm and put your running shoes out with the clothes the night before.
If it is to walk a few steps every hour, set an alarm as a reminder. My fitbit is a great minder to do this.
Remember it is better to do something for 10 min everyday than trying to do it once a week for a longer period of time. The former builds the habit.
We can often find ourselves making choices that feel good in the moment but impact us negatively in the long-term. It’s hard to put off that choice for gain later. We have to remind ourselves in that moment WHY we are making this commitment and choice. The more we alter our thinking about the short-term behaviour the more likely we are to make different choices that support our vision.
Celebrate the wins along the way! Every step, every day that you meet your commitment - celebrate!! We are less likely to self-sabotage when we are feeling great about what we are doing and our success.
Take stock of your past pattern of behaviour in relation to this change. When have you typically fallen off? What are the thoughts before giving up? Again, be honest with yourself. This isn’t about a quick win, it’s an opportunity to learn about yourself, build confidence and willpower, and create a new, healthy relationship with yourself.
Making 2020 Amazing!
Consider your daily/weekly habits that are necessary to making this an amazing year for you. What do you need to do/change to achieve this?
1. Commit to it.
2. Schedule it.
3. Celebrate it
Remember WHY you want to do these things. Link them back to the dream/vision. The more
you link it to the future win, the more likely you are to get there.
When our habits serve our intentions, we are more likely to successful and feel our life has meaning and purpose!
Want to learn more?
Atomic Habits by James Clear
Intention Check-In and Course Correct - free online event held near the new moon each month. (link: https://www.facebook.com/events/2951307051554936)
Glenda Myles is a psychotherapist, grief counsellor, death doula, life coach, yoga & meditation teacher and wellness facilitator. She owns and manages Mindful Healing Space where she provides online and RL courses, programs and one-on-one sessions. She encourages mindfulness-based practices to Live (and Love) Life Fully. #LiveLifeFully
Web: Mindful Healing Space