Why Hunting for Magic in Dating Left Me Disappointed

And What I Learned

If you’re dating and searching for that elusive magic, this is for you.

Most people know about writer’s block — that frustrating moment when words won’t flow no matter how hard you try. Well, I was feeling that same kind of block, but with dating. I was hopeless, impatient, and frustrated because I just wasn’t meeting anyone who could keep my interest for more than a day or two.

It wasn’t for lack of trying either. I was connecting with men who were interested and wanted to meet up, but most just wanted to sleep with me — and honestly, they didn’t even know how to really connect, physically or mentally.

Sex isn’t just sex for me. It’s got to be more than that. When the mental connection is strong, the physical takes you places beyond the mind. Without that, it’s just boring and unsatisfying.

I need a man who’s genuinely intrigued by me. Someone who wants to know what makes me tick — in every way. And I want that too. When I don’t get it, I get bored. And sure enough, I end up disappointed — over and over again.

I’ve lost count of how many times this has happened. I’d rather lose count of orgasms, not disappointments.

Then there were the men who caught my attention mentally but where the physical just… didn’t click. After a kiss, a coffee, or even sex, something inside me switched off, and I couldn’t explain why.

Having those honest conversations was hard. One guy even took my rejection as a challenge, which just annoyed me. Others were respectful, which somehow made me feel worse about not fully understanding why things weren’t working.

So I decided to stop hunting for magic. Because magic can’t be found — it finds you.

I’d spent months chasing butterflies and rainbows in all the usual places. It was pointless but necessary. I needed that “ah ha” moment. I needed to feel the frustration to realize my energy was misplaced — chasing something outside me instead of focusing on what I could control.

Now, I’m focused on my own emotional intelligence and cultivating my magic — so one day, it will meet its match.