Secrets to Surviving Vacay at Any Size

Jan 14, 2020
Written by
Talya Feldman-Lloyd
Photographed by
Denise Bidot in Photo
I

used to be the skinny friend. The one who was underweight and too thin.

I was so skinny that you could see my rib cage through my skin. My face was ghost-like and almost translucent, and people would stare so obviously and make rude comments like, “are you anorexic?”

The answer to that was no, I was not. I did not have an eating disorder, I was just naturally very thin.

Well, about 6 years ago, that all changed when I altered the medication I take(for ADHD and Anxiety). I literally started ballooning the fuck up and gained about 70 pounds in a very short period of time.

While at first, and sometimes still to this day I feel down in the dumps about being overweight, I‘m actually grateful for the weight gain, as it has allowed me to gain an entirely new perspective. The perspective of a fat woman.

Vacation Time

So, you’re planning on going away over March break with some friends - somewhere beautiful and hot.

This, of course, means bathing suits.

Perhaps you identify as the “fat friend” (I do!), or perhaps your body simply looks different than a tall, slim, size 2 with perky breasts, a six-pack, and a cute ass.

I’m sure you’ve thought about how you’re going to survive this trip with your beautiful, skinny mini friends, who have what society deems as ‘the perfect body.’

Don’t worry! I’ve got you.

How to Enjoy Vacay at Any Size

Here are some tips to ensure that you have a great time on vacation:

1. Remind yourself everyday that your weight does not define you - Who are you inside? ... joyful, loving, fun, hardworking, with good intentions? Your weight does not take away from who you are as a person.

2. The only person judging the way you look, is YOU. People are typically too involved with themselves, their mojitos, their phones, and how they look to worry about someone else.

3. Practice positive self talk, self love, and reassurance. Sometimes, all it takes is a simple reminder like “my size does not define me.” Or, “breathe in self love and acceptance, breathe out judgement and fear.” Be the person who you always needed when you were younger. Have your own back and be your own biggest fan and best friend.

4. Who says chubby can’t be sexy?? Check out the song “Chubby Sexy” by Robbie Tripp (and the music video) to get inspired. Have a dance party and get in touch with your body so that you can radiate confidence on the inside and outside, on the beach.

Your soft tummy rolls are yummy and sexy. That cellulite... fierce! Those stretch marks? More like tiger stripes. Rawr!

5. Ground yourself, center, stay in the present moment and practice gratitude.

Feel the hot sun rays bounce off your body, and the beautiful, refreshing breeze as it blows through your hair. Enjoy the warm ocean water as it cleanses your body and washes away all negative energy. Feel your feet in the sand, as they sink deeper and deeper asthe tide washes over them.

Be grateful for the opportunity to be away with good friends, to enjoy beautiful weather, and to have a working and able body that allows you to live an active and adventurous life.

Have a Blast!

These are all tips that I consciously put into practice when I’m away on vacation. And I always have a good damn time on vacation, fat and all.

I’ve been the skinny friend and I’ve been the fat friend. Though our insecurities come from the opposite issue (being too skinny vs. being too fat), I find the feelings that result from looking "different" to be very similar; they’re fueled by shame and embarrassment, a desire to look differently than you currently do, to look “better”, and to basically be a different version of you than you are today.

I want to remind you that the version of you that exists in this moment - the you reading this - is perfectly imperfect, whole and complete, and exactly where you’re supposed to be along your journey of discovery, growth and healing.

Celebrate yourself! That includes but is certainly not limited to your body!!!!!

You are so special and amazing!

Love you!

- Talya

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