hances are, you’ve heard it all before.
That we in order to have better self-care, we need to:
Meditate, drink more water, incorporate movement, surround ourselves with positive people, perhaps even begin a skin care routine.
But you see, there’s one element missing that has drastically benefitted how I feel about myself and my mood.
We hardly talk about incorporating pleasure into our routines, yet I’ve found it to be one of the most rewarding.
Not going to lie, I only used to do it if I couldn’t fall asleep. But now? It’s an essential part of my self-care routine.
Pleasure allows us to connect with our bodies in that it demands us to practice mindfulness. Well, let me put it this way: Have you ever been in a sexual situation where you felt so frustrated that you didn’t climax yet? Where all that’s on your mind is that your partner’s almost there and you’re not anywhere near to finishing? Or if you’re on your own, all you can think about is how long it’s already been and if there’s something wrong?
This can be for several reasons—but for me it’s either because my focus narrowed down to solely finishing that I had disconnected with enjoying pleasure, or because my mind was elsewhere and I wasn’t engaged with the sexual experience. Upon reflecting on these instances, I realised I was only doing it for the sake of doing it.
Pleasure exists to be truly felt and enjoyed. And I’ve seen how rushing pleasure brings you farther from it than anywhere near it.
For me, self-pleasure has become an act of tuning in with myself through my body. It requires to breathe mindfully and focus on the feeling of receiving pleasure in order to release (climax), therefore also providing a de-stressing effect.
I’ve heard many people talk about not being able to practice mindfulness because their mind goes off on tangents and they can’t sit comfortably with that internal chatter.
I say: practice through intimate pleasure. If there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s how liberating it is to let go the need to control everything. How liberating it is to simply relax, disconnect with time, and let the experience take over you.
Since then, I’ve invested and experimented with vibrators until I came across the OhMyG
—a g-spot massager that’s extremely silent, it’s actually mind-blowing (…in many ways 😏)
The fact that it gives attention to a part of me that would otherwise not be attended to, makes me feel seen, more empowered, and more connected to my feminine energy. And the fact that it doesn’t sound like I’m bringing a jackhammer into bed makes the whole experience even more liberating. Embracing and experimenting with pleasure has made me-time more fun.
Plus, in the end we learn more about ourselves—now isn’t that a beautiful part of life?