Take the Wheel on Your Dating Life:
A Guide for Women
How I Learned About Dating
I started dreaming about dating long before I was old enough to do it. I began at sixteen, and over the next five years, I experienced my fair share of relationships. Each one taught me something about myself, helping me figure out what I truly want out of life.
From jocks to nerds, and yes—even the British boys (note: stay FAR away from them)—dating has been an adventure in self-discovery.
Stop Projecting Your Expectations
Many of us enter relationships imagining the “perfect life” with someone special. We project our expectations onto our partners and forget that they are unique individuals with their own desires and goals.
Pro tip: Expecting someone to fulfill your vision of “perfect” will only lead to disappointment.
Dating Isn’t About Marriage
Society and media often pressure us to have life figured out by twenty-two. But the reality? Most of us don’t know exactly what we want yet.
I used to view dating strictly as a path to marriage, which made the whole process stressful and complicated. Then I realized: dating isn’t an obstacle course—it’s about exploration and connection.
When you stop dating just for marriage, your dating pool expands dramatically. You start meeting people who may not fit your “perfect partner” mold but can still bring laughter, comfort, and support into your life.
Focus on What Really Matters
Dating isn’t about money, looks, or social status. It’s about shared experiences, emotional connection, and mutual respect. The superficial aspects that society glorifies rarely lead to lasting happiness.
Ask yourself: Why am I attracted to this person? In my last failed relationship, I realized I was drawn to someone simply because he was cute and British. I imagined a life with him without considering his own goals or heart. That’s a mistake many of us make.
Women, Take Control of Your Dating Life
As women, we have more power than we often recognize. With just a few swipes, we can explore countless opportunities to meet new people. Fear of judgment or “slut shaming” shouldn’t stop us from dating freely and figuring out what we truly want.
Once you stop dating solely to settle down, you become more liberated, independent, and ambitious—and you gain clarity about what makes you happy in a partner and in life.
Key Takeaways
- Stop projecting unrealistic expectations onto partners.
- Dating isn’t just for marriage—it’s for self-discovery.
- Focus on emotional connection, not superficial traits.
- Embrace your power as a woman to explore and learn.
- Each relationship teaches you more about yourself.
Dating is a journey of self-discovery, laughter, and learning—not a checklist to fulfill societal expectations. Take the wheel, and enjoy the ride.
~ Kaitlyn [ @kat.malonee ]
