57 Days: A Love Story
Practicing Presence and Emotional Growth in Marriage
The Miracle of Everyday Moments
It’s 8pm, and I feel like I’ve just taken my first breath of the day. My body relaxes into the couch while my husband—who loves food almost as much as he loves me—is in the kitchen cooking a special Shabbat dinner.
I glance at one of my plants (yes, I’ve become obsessed since COVID) and gasp: a new sprout. Immediately, tears well up.
"You see how not present I am," I say aloud.
My husband sits beside me. “What if you could just appreciate the beauty instead of making yourself wrong?” he says.
Gratitude flows. Presence is learned in these small, everyday miracles.
Emotional Highs and Lows in Marriage
And then he takes a loud gulp from my water glass, and I can’t stand him.
This perfectly sums up the past 57 days: emotional intensity, love, frustration, and growth—all rolled into one.
These experiences have pushed me to explore new forms of emotional expression, moving beyond the brain and into the body. There’s been growing, shifting, shaking, and leaning into discomfort. I’ve allowed myself to feel emotions I once labeled “bad,” trying to be perfect all the time—whatever that even means.
Irritability and Relationship Challenges
Irritability has been real. My loving, supportive, perfect husband has been driving me crazy. We’re spending more time together than ever, navigating uncharted territory as a couple.
At first, I wondered: Is something wrong here?
Then I came across a post by @lindsayellenrein:
"The goal here is not to change each other," her therapist said, “the goal is to tolerate your differences.”
I burst into tears.
Accepting Differences in Marriage
I’m learning to see every part of my husband—both the parts I love and the parts that frustrate me. These differences, while challenging, are not obstacles. They are part of the relationship growth process.
By acknowledging our differences while honoring our shared values, we practice:
- Compassion
- Respect
- Emotional resilience
- Constructive communication
This awareness has shifted my perspective from seeing conflict as something “wrong” to seeing it as an opportunity for growth—individually and as a couple.
The Journey of Love and Growth
We are learning to hold space for our differences while moving forward together. These differences make us who we are, the people we fell in love with, and the partners we chose.
Stay tuned for Part 2, where I’ll share the specific challenges we’re navigating and a step-by-step guide for processing differences in your own relationship.
Until then, I breathe, practice compassion, cry, and probably order more plants.
